Little Talks
by korondaruma
Summary: Every relationship has its ups and downs, when will the journey end? Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. (obviously).
1. Brave

**A/N update:** I just want to clear up the format of this story before you start reading. This story alternates between present Jade and Tori and major flashbacks of how they got where they are right now. The first and third section of each chapter will be the present while the middle chunk will be the flashback. Also, each chapter alternates between Jade and Tori's points of view, starting with Jade here in chapter one.

* * *

"You seriously haven't decided yet?" Beck asks yet another time today as I feel his arm wrap around my waist. I let out a low grumble in my throat, telling him to back off.

It's not like I can blame him. Applying for colleges isn't really something anyone should take lightly. Especially the competitive ones like everyone here would be applying to. But honestly? I hadn't even thought about going to college until we had to take the SATs. Everyone was stressing out and checking out campuses while I just let sat back and watched as things roll by. I want to be successful, that much is obvious, but I want my work to be appreciated for being _my_ creations. I don't want my work to be standard, cookie-cutter material. I don't want to be shaped and molded into the everyday writer. I don't want to have to spend thousands of dollars to sit in a classroom and be told that my work is wrong and how to fix it.

That, and right now I have more pressing matters on my mind at the moment.

And she just walked past me.

Without a second look, Tori brushes past the two of us with a placid smile on her face as she makes her way to her locker with a chatty Andre at her side. The way she carries herself with such confidence is so alluring. My eyes are drawn to her smile, focusing on her lips that are in a warming smile. I quickly shift my gaze to her eyes when the grin fades. Her deep, suddenly solemn, brown eyes caught mine in the act. Hostility fills hers and she quickly turns her face away.

* * *

"Oh my God, the performan-" I could hear Cat's incessant rambling and I toned it out. It had become second nature to me due to the fact that she had been attached to my side since elementary school. We make an odd pair but somehow find a balance and keep each other in line.

I sipped my coffee and I recalled the unexpected performance at the Moonlight Jam. It had been all that anyone could talk about since the week before. It was impressive, I had to admit, but how could they not get sick of talking about the same thing over and over? "-Vega will be starting today!"

"What did you say?" I snapped my attention back to the conversation when Cat's voice nearly squeaks with excitement.

"I heard that Tori Vega, Trina's sister, is going to come to this school!" Cat squealed and jumped in place a bit. She was always an Eager Ellen when it came to making new friends, even though only a small group of people could actually handle her in large doses.

With all the talk going about the new girl now, I couldn't even begin to fathom how popular this chick was going to be when she actually got here. She wasn't hard on the eyes and had a voice. She was able to carry her strong confidence through her singing and I just _knew_ she wouldn't be anything but trouble for me.

I leaned back in my seat and crossed my arms in front of my chest. Beck's sincere smile irked me and I knew he could tell by the way he pulled me closer by my waist. He placed a kiss on my temple; it seemed to be a thing he did to pacify me. It would remind me that he was mine so I shouldn't worry. I let it slide for now and walked away from the group without another word. The gang headed to class ahead of me as I went to the bathroom before the bell rang. I walked in just in time and I let out an internal growl.

"Dude, why you rubbin' my boyfriend?" I snapped when the new girl nervously tried to clean Beck's shirt from the recently spilt coffee. With way that she looked at him, I could tell she'd already taken a liking. She'd have to learn her place around here.

"I just-" The new girl opened her mouth to speak but nothing else came out. What happened to the confident 'star' that was on stage the other night? I accepted Beck's peck on the cheek but still was not going to let it drop. I had to give it up though when Sikowitz came bursting through the doors.

There was a change in plans when I'm given the chance to choose my actors for an exercise Sikowitz had planned. A smirk grew across my face as I thought of a great way to make her learn her lesson. It was too rich and I couldn't let this opportunity pass me by.

I carefully plotted in my head and chose an appropriate cast. The banter between the experienced actors went by quickly as we all threw out line after line with only slight trouble when the new girl had seeming no idea on what a dog was. She was quickly put back on route and I couldn't help to end it with a grand finale of coffee.

Wimp. Complete pushover. I knew from the moment that I had met her that I would walk all over this girl. It was irritating. It was infuriating. I hated how she has no sense of a backbone; she would never stick up for herself. It was to a twisted and almost pleasant surprise when she turns it around on me a few days later, stealing a stage kiss from Beck.

I realized at that time that she might not be just as pathetic as I thought she was. I had to keep her an eye on her. And maybe Beck as well. He seemed a little too keen on her.

Much to my disdain, the new girl only seemed to get burst of nerve at a time. I had never seen anyone fail so hard at The Bird Scene before. Three tries, seriously? Most of us got it done in one. With each try she had used the more and more elaborate props and, by the end, she looked like she was on the verge of tears when she couldn't get it. That part I liked.

But that conviction in the end. That passion. I was blown away and I couldn't help but applaud it. Even though I pride myself on my acting, I couldn't hide the satisfied grin that spread across my face. It was a hard earned and well deserved sign of my approval.

From that day on, I found every possible way to push her buttons. I did everything I could to annoy her, to piss her off. I said anything I could think of just to get a reaction, _the_ reaction. I knew she could be so much more than she was. She could be amazing but she never spoke up.

"New Girl." I called her from across the hall. I was surprised that she was still here at this time of day; most of the students have already left. "We need to work on our song."

The two of us were assigned to work together. It seemed as if all the teachers in the entire school have conspired against us and collectively decided to pair us up as often as possible. By that, I mean for every single non-solo project, without fail, we were put in the same group. For this particular assignment, each pair had to compose a song completely from scratch from the score to the lyrics. It was a two-week project but since we never said more than two words to each other, it never got anywhere. The three-day countdown had just begun.

I could tell how exhausted the new girl was by the tired look she gave me. The first month had been harsh on her. Anyone could tell that she was not used to the workload, the constant bombardment of projects, or the intense pressure to be more than what you are. Her shoulders were constantly slouched and dark bags were forming under her eyes. She looked like crap. But, being the pushover that she was, she just nodded her head and agreed. She followed me like a puppy that hadn't slept in weeks.

I hated it. It irritated me. She would do anything she was asked or told with not a single complaint. She'd never make it past the first semester at this school, let alone in the entertainment world if she kept this up.

"Move." I pushed her aside, out of the seat from the piano. I tossed her an empty notebook and a pen. "Write everything down, let me know what you think."

I settled on the bench and thought back to her Show Case performance. She did pop well so I decided on chords for an upbeat song, trying to find harmonies. "G7, C, A-minor" I barked out quickly as I try to work out a tempo as well. It had been a while since I last touched a piano, but after a few blunders, I got the hang of it again. The tempo picked up as I started to hum a small tune. After each chord, I changed to the next as quickly as they popped in my head. The new girl sat there and looked at me completely lost and confused.

"What the hell is wrong with you, give it to me." I said angrily and yanked the book from her hands. I was dumbfounded when saw almost nothing written down, just seemingly random letters and scratched out words.

"Oh my god, don't even tell me." I laughed bitterly and covered my face with my hand. "Can you even read music?"

Her eyes fell down to her lap and her hands twiddled nervously. "I-" she tried and failed at forming a sentence.

"What are you even doing here? You clearly don't belong at this school. Most of us have been practicing for _years_." I started to hound her. I could tell she was trying to find words in her head but I didn't let up. "You might have gotten here by a stroke of chance, but you won't last. You'll be eaten alive if you're not running home with your tail between your legs."

_Say it_. I pushed hard. _Say what you want to say_. I recognized that look had become familiar to me. I could tell by the straight look and her gritted teeth that she was at the point when she was pushed just beyond her comfort zone. Finally, she was about to crack.

"Are you listening to me, New Girl?" I snapped my fingers in front of her face, drawing her attention back to me. She looked awkward as she fumbled with her bag. I crossed my legs and rolled my eyes, waiting impatiently for her to say something. Anything.

I heard a faint whisper but I couldn't make anything out. "What? Just. Speak. _Up_." I demanded loudly with a groan to let her know my irritation.

"I have a name." Her voice suddenly came out as clear as day. Her wide eyes were not teary like I had expected them to be, but instead they were bright and almost on fire.

"Tori Vega. My name is Tori Vega." She stated with her voice filled with conviction. "Stop calling me 'New Girl.'" Her response was firm and she didn't move her gaze from mine. "I've been here for almost a month, you could at least have the decency to learn my name."

Her voice sounded like she was disgusted at me, it was as if I was the pathetic one that needed to be put into place. I admit I was taken slightly aback by her forwardness, but it wasn't completely unexpected. I _knew_ that this strength was lying within her. She had shown it several times before but was always buried again.

"I may not be able to read music, but it does NOT make me any less talented." She declared loudly and stood from hear seat. She looked down at me from her towering position. "I was _asked_ to come to this school. I didn't apply. Your principal _personally_ asked me, along with all of your friends and classmates, that I attend this school. Don't you dare say I don't deserve to be here."

The New Girl's fire burned fiercely and I almost felt intimidated.

"I have every right, if not more, to be here." Each word she said was bold. There it was. In her voice and in her actions. It was everywhere. "Move." She ordered.

I felt a smile building up but I suppressed it as she pushed me away from the keyboard and started to play a tune. I knew that she didn't know the technicalities of music but there was something else there. Pure, unadulterated, raw talent. Something no one could be taught.

By ear, I wrote down the new melody. "Perfect, Vega."

* * *

Beck's arm around my shoulder feels like it's burning and started to make me uncomfortable. I push him off and make my way to my next class. Thank god I don't share it with them, I can't take being around either one of them without feeling guilty.

After everything, after two years of this dance that Tori has dragged me into, we find ourselves 50 paces behind point zero. We've both grown as people, as actresses, as artists, and as musicians, together but then apart. The two of us are in worse spot than where we started.

I would never admit it, even to this day. I push her as hard and as roughly as I can because I just want to see her be brave.

* * *

**A/N:** This is my first Jori fanfic and I had this idea floating in my head at work. I thought I would throw it out here and see what you guys thought. I haven't written in a really long time and this is a completely different ship, style, tense, and point of view than what I've done before. This is also the only fic that I have planned out in advance. I usually write one chapter at a time and take it as it goes, but, seeing how my other story has been on a hiatus for about a year and has already taken forever, that doesn't work out too well for me. Please, leave feedback and let me know how it is and what you think of it.


	2. Give Me Love

The six of us have a regular routine. It's not like we ever planned our days out, but it was just our unspoken rule. Every morning starts with Andre meeting me in front of the school after Trina leaves and we walk in together. Jade and Beck always show up side-by-side, unless of course they were on one of their countless 'breaks'. Cat and Robbie are a little less predictable. Cat comes and goes as she pleases, no one ever knows when or where she'll show up. But, without fail, Robbie is always at her side. Despite the six of us each coming separately, we all make sure to meet up a few minutes before the morning bell rings and split to go to our respective classes.

And today is no different, as it shouldn't be. It's just this time I have to make a conscious effort to keep my eyes away from the tall beauty as she walks towards us with her_ boyfriend_ close at hand. I shift uncomfortably on my feet and grip the strap of my bag tightly, needing to express the tension that my face doesn't allow. It sounds crazy, but I can feel her gaze on my face, burning at me, daring me to look at her. It's begging me take a glance. My smile falters when I catch her in the act. I quickly look away.

* * *

Jade West, an enigma of her own. She had always pushed me in so many ways. Physically, mentally, metaphorically, any way that should could possibly think of. I could never figure out what it was that she wanted from me but I knew I couldn't disappoint. Her strict approval meant acceptance, and how I had longed for her acceptance from day one.

In the beginning, I thought she was just being the usual gank that she had earned a reputation for and that she just wanted to piss me off. She was always in my face and pushing my buttons to irk me in the most infuriating ways, but I always felt so relieved after I vented things out. Without fail, she would provoke a response out of me. It was usually a harsh one and almost always directed at her. Yet, even as she was at the end of my venting, she had this eerie smirk on her face and I couldn't help but think she purposely coaxed that reaction out of me. It was almost as if she was proud of the fact that I let loose and exploded.

She always seemed to have me where she wanted me.

I hate to admit it, but she had changed me. I didn't want anyone to change me, I am who I am, but sometimes couldn't help but feel like it was for the better. People always seemed to take advantage of me and at first Jade did a lot as well, but when she started this little game of hers, people didn't seem to ask me to do the impossible anymore. Classmates I've never talked to before had stopped using me for projects and no one asked to copy my homework anymore. I felt so liberated and powerful. This freedom let me actually enjoy school and be myself without the added pressure that it had when I had started. I had ceased being a pushover. I wasn't afraid to say no and I _know _Jade's constant antics had something to do with this metamorphosis. It was almost like she was trying to protect me.

"Jade." I was frozen in my spot and looked at the other girl in surprise. I wasn't expecting her to show up at my door. She hardly ever came to my house, even when the whole gang was here, so I definitely didn't think she'd ever show up on her own.

The thing with Jade was, I could never know what to expect from her. So, to save me the trouble, I just usually avoided any extra contact with her. Completely silent, the raven-haired devil spawn stepped past me.

"Sure, you can come in." I said to the empty doorframe that she walked through. I shut the door and followed the somber girl into the living room.

I couldn't help but admire Jade's unconcerned attitude towards everything. She had an extreme confidence in everything she did and in everything she said. She had no reason or right to be here, but still, from the way she carried herself it felt like it was the most natural thing ever. She commanded the room.

I was stunned and I cocked my head to the side when Jade sat down on the red couch with a slight slump. Her blank eyes stared at the blank screen of the TV, transfixed on the nothingness. That was new.

"Can I help you?" I asked as I approached her as a kitten would approach a dog, completely on guard but genuinely and impossibly curious. Her look of defeat was a first for me.

She stayed quiet for a full five minutes and her eyes never left the screen. She didn't move from her spot and her hands were clamped together, resting on her knees. The snarky goth was uncharacteristically passive. She would blink occasionally and I watched her slight movements carefully, getting ready to run and scream if she tried anything funny. From what I could tell, she was chewing at the inside of her lip, deep in thought. Every so often she would take a deep breath as if trying to compose herself, as if she was readying herself to speak but never said a word. I knew she was a ticking time bomb and I let her take control of the situation. I meekly waited for an explanation.

I didn't approach her with any words but I did eventually resign and brought her a cup of warm coffee. I had to microwave the leftovers from the batch this morning and I handed it to her with cream and sugar. She wordlessly added two teaspoons of sugar and made a fierce face of disgust at the staleness. She stayed in the exact same position, the only extra movements was to force the expired coffee down her throat. I wasn't aware of time passing but when the cup was completely empty, the grim girl walked out of the house in the same fashion that she came in.

That get-together shortly became a routine that happened every Saturday night for a long time to come. Sometimes she stayed for a few moments, as if she only came to see if I were home, and other times she'd stay for three or four cups of coffee. She never brought these visits up at school and neither did I. It was interesting side of Jade I felt that only I got to see and it was as if she was a different person. She didn't hide behind her sharp tongue and stern face in those moments, and if she wanted to keep it a secret, so would I. She was as harsh and brash with me at school as ever, but these short occasions, even if it were only once a week, weren't something I wanted to lose.

After the first month or so of her visits, I started to realize that it was becoming a regular occurrence. I had been expecting her so I made fresh pot of her potent caffeine instead or the usual old stuff. I could tell she was pleasantly surprised by the way she tried oh-so-hard to hide a smile that refused to be beat. Score one for Tori.

Unfortunately, my smile quickly faded when I heard her voice.

"He's cheating on me." Cold and detached, the words didn't seem like they were even spoken. The first thing that had ever been said by her during these little sessions caught me by surprise.

Her words sat in the air for a moment as I tried to register what she had just said. I was thrown completely off guard. This couldn't be the same Beck that I saw at school. The sweet, kind, understanding Canadian that everyone knew and loved. The Beck I knew was crazy about her, right?

"I'm sure he's not…" I tried to reassure her as I took a seat one cushion away from her. This was the closest we've ever got to each other and the most we've ever said; a whole bunch of firsts for us.

She glared at me, trying to intimidate me from seeing the hurt in her eyes but she couldn't hide it. I reached my arm out a little and it fell just short of her shoulder, landing in the empty space between us. I wasn't about to push my luck with her.

"Why would you say that?" I asked softly.

"I know he is." She stated and took a small pause before continuing. "Every Saturday he meets her and every call and text I send will be ignored. He'll just pretend that nothing happened the next time we meet and he never answers any questions."

I was just about to open my mouth to say that it doesn't mean anything but she wasn't done. "I went to his trailer once." She added softly. My mouth instantly shut and I gave her a sympathetic glance. "They were inside."

The way she shifted her jaw and chewed at her lip, I knew it was more than what she initially wanted to admit out loud and she already regretted saying it. It was as if that because it was in the open, it was suddenly more real than it was before. She could no longer deny it anymore.

At least to me, Beck genuinely seemed like a nice guy, though he was a bit flirty. I would never forget quip he made about sleeping in the same room when we did our impromptu skit on my second day. Or the fact that he had no problem kissing someone his girlfriend hated in front of the whole class, even if it was just a stage kiss. Beck could get anyone he wanted and he definitely knew it. His good looks and incredible talent made him insanely popular, but I never had I thought he would be the kind of person to use that to his advantage. Apparently he did.

"Jade-" I moved a bit closer, dipping into uncharted territory.

"Don't." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her delicate hands gripped at the warm mug in her hands, the smell of sweet vanilla did nothing to comfort her.

She left without another word.

I had just put in _The Notebook_ and settled into the couch when Jade came in one Thursday. It wasn't our usual schedule and it threw me off a bit. Jade expertly walked in and I could see that her eyes were red and her makeup was a bit smudged. She must've been crying and tried to fix it up a bit before she came over. Moving back to my usual spot, I reached for the remote to turn it off. The rebel didn't seem the type to be too into tearjerkers but before I could push the button, she took the remote from my hands gently and placed it on the other side of her. Wordlessly, she curled herself around her knees in the spot next to me. As the movie chugged along, the both of us enjoyed the popcorn that was settled in my lap. Our hands would brush occasionally if we both reached in at the same time but our eyes and attention stayed focused on the TV.

Well, I think at least hers was. I couldn't help the tingling sensation that jolted through my body with each touch. I couldn't concentrate on the movie and eventually I tried to time it so that every so often our hands would meet, just so I could feel her soft skin against mine. I had realized that it was creepy, sure, but it didn't stop me. Luckily, she didn't seem to notice.

I nearly choked on a kernel when I felt her lean against my body as the movie dragged on. She was probably bored out of her mind but she pretended to stay interested so she wouldn't have to explain why she was there. It had become a faux distraction but that was enough for both of us. Her head eventually nodded to rest on my shoulder and I could feel her soft breathing against my skin. I shuffled a bit in my seat to get comfortable and put my arm behind her. It awkwardly floated at her side when I didn't know what to do with it but eventually decided to rest it against her so it wouldn't go numb. With the sudden stiffness of her body, I could tell that it made her uncomfortable at first but it wasn't long until her body relaxed and steady breathing returned.

I mindlessly ran my thumb over her side, trying to comfort her and not even realizing I was doing so. The small gesture must've worked because it wasn't long before she fell asleep like that, against me. I only noticed after the movie ended of the position that we were in. I refused to wake her, even long after the credits finished rolling.

Before this, I had never been so close to Jade before. I honestly don't think anyone but Beck has. I know that she would never consciously let someone see her so… vulnerable. Her eyes were shut tightly, causing a crease in her brow, yet her expression was still somehow light. Strands of her perfect-as-always hair fell in front of her face and would sway slightly with every gentle breath she took. Her skin was so fair that it was impossible to believe that it had ever seen the sun. But, the most alluring feature of all was her lips. Her bottom lip jutted out just slightly and her bold lipstick highlighted them in stark contrast to her porcelain skin.

My face grew tense when I saw her jaw clench. Her eyebrows furrowed closer together and my face mirrored hers. My heart tightened at the look of distress plagued her previously serene expression. I was pulled out of my reverie by Trina's obscenely loud entrance, nearly kicking the door in. Always on guard, Jade snapped awake, scrambling out of our previous position. My free hand had made it halfway to her and I snapped it back to my side as my head swung to see what the loud disturbance was. With a look of distaste and a roll of her eyes, Trina quickly dismissed herself, wanting nothing to do with either me or Jade. She was in one of her diva moods and wanted to make a big scene. She was probably expecting someone to chase after her.

What had my hand been doing before the interruption? Was I actually going to touch her? To cradle her face as if it would relax her? God and his pet dog knew that that would not have ended well. Yet, something drew me closer to her again.

Jade had been grabbing her jacket and rushing towards the door when I caught her arm as it swung back in her haste. "Do you want to talk?" I offer as softly and calmly as I could, covering the uncertainty in my voice.

For a brief moment, I had a small bubble of hope force its way up through my chest. Her expression softened for a moment but it was quickly disregarded and that feeling quickly dissipated. I dropped her arm at the threatening look she threw my way as she took a step closer to me. A familiar smirk crossed her face, proud of her intimidation tactics, and she left.

I was full of determination and even a bit of irritation when I approached Jade at school the next day. She was alone, for once.

"We need to talk." I gripped her arm again, this time a little more firmly so she would take me seriously. She had left me in the dark for over a month and a half now, and I just wanted some answers already.

"No, we don't." She replied and quickly tore her arm out of my grasp and slammed her locker shut. She walked back towards the entrance and I followed, confused.

"What happened between you and Beck?" I whispered, slightly under my breath.

"What about me?" A low and familiar voice responded instead of the melodic one I was expecting. My head swiveled around in surprise as the cool-headed Canadian made his way into the building.

"Nothing, babe." Jade grabbed the cup of JetBrew from his hand and he quickly wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

The look of "what the frack" must have been clear on my face as Jade glared at me, wordlessly telling me to shut the hell up.

With a small kiss on his lips, Jade smiled and I was quickly dismissed. A strange, unusual feeling arose in my gut. I felt hurt, afraid, and angry all at the same time. It was a feeling I would get familiar over the next few months; one that I had learned was often called _jealously_.

* * *

My eyes never leave Jade's seated form in front of me in Sikowitz's class. Beck's arm is draped over her shoulders, yet she doesn't seem to lean as close to him as usual. At least that's what I want to believe.

Jade always goes back to him. After the many nights of her hiding her tears, after countless cups of coffee, after long and sometimes sleepless nights together, she's with him and I'm alone. I know I should've expected it. I just didn't want to believe it.

I close my eyes and Sikowitz's lecture falls on deaf ears. In spite of all of this, lately I've been craving more of her. I miss her and everything about her. She was never really mine, but I miss the Jade I had grown to know. The Jade I had fell for.

I'm brought back to reality when she rests her hand on his thigh, leaning against his shoulder.

_Maybe I should let you go._

* * *

**A/N:** Alright, so, this fic didn't get very many reviews or hits, but I decided to continue it anyway out of boredom. Writing is a great way to distract and to kill time. Review, comment, criticize, anything. Let me know. Thanks for reading, especially those who have followed this story from the first chapter. You guys the best! :]


	3. Counting Stars

Feeling his physical presence, I ground myself. I need reassurance that this is, in fact, what I want. This is what I chose and I made the right choice. I _need_ to know I'm making the right decision.

Placing my hand in his, his fingers automatically curl between mine purely by reflex. I remind myself that he's safe. That he's secure. There has to be a reason that everyone thinks we're perfect together, it has to be because we are.

His arm around my shoulder tells me that he chooses me. That he cares about me. Having him touch me like this gives me the certainty of the words he never said to me. The words that Vega carelessly throws at me yet he has not said once in the years we've been together.

Resting against his shoulder, I force myself to remember that I love him and that I have for a long time. It's Beck that I want to sit in this position with. It's Beck that I want to hold me and kiss me. Not _her_.

* * *

"What is your problem?" I snapped after feeling Vega's intense gaze on me. Had she not noticed that she had been glaring at me all lunch? Her salad was basically mashed spinach by the time she dropped her fork down in defeat. She looked as clueless as ever at the mess she had made, not a single bite made it past her lips. What a waste.

Beck had to meet Andre to work on something for their English project or another. I didn't really pay attention. I was glad for the relief of not being in the same place as Vega and Beck at the same time. As time went by, being in the presence of both of them had become a little nerve wrecking. She knew my secret. She knew his secret and there was nothing keeping her from telling anyone. She could easily ruin Beck and he would no doubt about it take me with him in a huge blaze of glory.

Cat looked between the two of us as Robbie argues futilely with Rex. The little redhead tripped on her tongue trying to find something, anything, to get rid of the tension growing around us. Always the peacekeeper, she was.

"Well?" I dropped the rest of my burrito onto my plate, the beans spilling out. I tried my best to ignore the mush that splashed on my shirt.

Vega's gaze darted between Cat's wide eyes and Robbie's sudden alertness. Raising both brows, she gave me a questioned look.

_Really? You want me to say it here?_ I could hear her voice echoing in my head, just from that small look. I never really realized how well we knew each other. Just as she was about to open her mouth, I pulled her away. I'm 97% sure that Robbie finished that burrito.

Quickly marching to the janitor's closet, I closed the door behind me and flicked on the lights. "Look," I pointed an accusatory finger at her. Resting my elbow against my hip, my wrist facing up, I let out a loud sigh mixed with a groan. "About yesterday-"

To my surprise, her sharp expression morphed into a brief glimpse of panic, but quickly melted into something softer.

I hated it.

With that small look, I was reminded of how vulnerable I had been. How open and unguarded I had let myself become, even for the smallest of moments. How pathetic I was. I didn't want her faux pity.

"Just forget it, alright?!" I snapped, trying to make her drop the expression.

It stung with every pointed word, just like how I knew it would and just like how I wanted it to. Her face then contorted into one of annoyance and shook her head disappointedly. Surprisingly, I didn't get my usual sense of satisfaction from it. Somehow I knew I had to brace myself for what was to come out of her mouth.

"Stop coming over." She spoke out bluntly. "It's a pain in the ass to make you coffee at 9 o'clock at night. It's a boring waiting for you to say something and not getting even a single word from you. Don't come over anymore. Quit wasting my time."

_Quit wasting my time._ The words echoed in my head and I stared at her blankly. _Quit wasting my time._

When I had wanted her to have a backbone and stand up for herself, I never knew it would bite me in the ass in the end. Each and every one of her words stabbed me sharply, right where it hurt. Whatever happened to they saying "sticks and stones"?

The feeling of my skin tingling when each enunciated syllable resonated through my body long after she had left and the bell had rung. I hadn't expected that. Dumbstruck, it was already half way through the period before I could collect myself. I threw my bag over my shoulder and stormed out of the closet, slamming the door closed behind me.

My foot slammed on the gas as I raced home, filled with jumbled emotions that I need to sort out. Vega's words wouldn't leave my head. _Quit wasting my time._ Why had it hurt so much? It really shouldn't have, she's nobody to me. Yet, the sense of betrayal was intense, as if she had enveloped me in a hug and stabbed me in the back. She took advantage of that false sense of security she had veiled me in and purposely hurt me.

"That witch!" I chucked my bag furiously into the corner of my room and slammed the door shut behind me. I had let out a loud scream of frustration and kicked a leg of my bed with my boot.

Through the silence, there was a sense of understanding between the two of us, or at least so I had thought. I had _thought _that it was fine that I leaned on her. I had _thought_ it was fine that I came over uninvited. I had _thought_ it was fine that I drank her coffee. I had _thought_ it was fine that I didn't say anything. I had _thought _that it was fine that I needed her. I had _thought _that she had understood me. I had _thought _that maybe, just maybe, we were becoming what I might have called friends.

It was apparent now, I had _thought _wrong. She sure had me fooled.

I had never dreaded the idea of Saturday night in my life as I had on that particular day. Getting over the idea of Beck cheating on me had _almost_ became bearable with the small routine that we had set up. Just almost. Not being alone, yet not being bothered was the perfect way to get over the idea. Dare I even say, I enjoyed my time with the over zealous singer. She could be annoying as hell, but the moments that we had spent alone, I could relax. Her bright and almost carefree demeanor rubbed off on me and, around her, I didn't feel like I needed to hide it.

Vega radiated an eerie sense of warmth and comfort. It was something that I had never felt before. Physical contact with Beck was all for show: "He's mine, back off." "We're the two hottest people on campus and we're dating. Deal with it." "Jealous that you're not as perfect as us?" It was almost purely just a clear-cut symbol that he was taken. I was his and he was mine. Property. Do not touch. We were the best and we deserved each other.

Yet, leaning against Vega was the exact opposite. No one was ever watching, god forbids if someone were, I wouldn't have even been at her house in the first place. The gesture was solely for reassurance. She was there and not pushing me away, if anything, she was pulling me closer. The strangest feeling was when her arm wrapped around my body; it felt protective yet welcoming, sturdy yet soft. It was not a mark of possessiveness nor was it merely to reciprocate my actions. She did it in attempts to soothe me and it worked. It gave me solace. It felt… right.

The night I went over and Vega's fingers faintly moved against my hip did not go unnoticed. As I was drifting in and out of consciousness at the mundane sound of Ryan Gosling's voice, I would sometimes forget where I was and pictured Beck's arm. He was never so endearing but that's what I aspired our relationship to be. I wanted more than just the façade we had and wanted this. Something that was akin to actual affection. I would be brought back to reality over and over when her soft skin would sometimes graze mine, reminding me that the soothing gesture was not that of Beck's coarse hands.

"Fuck you!" I cursed loudly to an empty room before I collapsed on my bed. I needed to get her out of my head. I draped my arm over my eyes and took calming breaths. It's not like she was ever really even my friend anyway. She didn't know anything about me and I didn't care to know anything about her. It was stupid to think anything more about it. I was overwhelmed with rage; I hadn't even noticed the passing of time.

"What are you doing here?" I snarled and gripped the doorknob firmly in my grasp. I eyed the sullen expression etched onto Vega's face and I told myself not to give in. The sun was setting behind her and I swear it did that hours ago already. The day must've changed while I was wallowing in self-pity. My eyes followed her as she worked her way to my couch as she took a similar spot to the one she takes when I intrude into her house. I slammed the door loudly; the sound resonated through the otherwise empty room.

I sense of satisfaction engulfs me when I see her shrink a little in her spot. Standing in front of the couch, I loomed over her, waiting for her to speak. Seconds pass unreasonably slowly. Finally, sick of waiting, I tried to walk away with a scoff, but failed.

I would never forget that feeling of her fingers wrapping ever so lightly over my wrist, holding me in place. She had barely touched me, but the feeling left a burning sensation on my skin as if it were on fire. Her nearly nonexistent grip anchored me to my spot, rendering me motionless. She didn't say a word but her downcast eyes and feather touch shouted at me what she wanted to say. It was her apology.

What she did was unforgivable. She humiliated me and exposed me and I never wanted to feel it again. I had felt like a fool to let her see a side of me that she shouldn't have. I have no idea where that insane level of trust that I don't give anyone else came from.

I tried to shake her grip and pull away but her fingers closed around my wrist tightly and tugged it almost harshly. I was caught off guard and stumbled a bit, barely able to catch my balance. I was blindsided when she pulled again and my body crashed into hers. I fell half on her, half on the couch and I tried my best to scramble away.

"I didn't mean it." She whispered. Her lips were next to my ear and it was clear how unsteady her voice was. I was slowly losing the will to fight against her. It was as if the warmth of her body was slowly sucking the energy out of mine.

"Let go of me!" I demanded as pushed against her shoulder, only to be greeted with a firmer grip around my body. "Vega, I said let go."

She never relented and I slowly lost my will to pull away. She kept me tightly against her with her head buried in my shirt. I could hear her deep breaths. It was as if the words she said the other day hurt her more than it hurt me.

"I didn't mean it." She repeated.

It would be a huge understatement to say that the whole situation was weird. I couldn't really comprehend at the time that a display of affection was more than just a display. That even though she didn't explicitly say, "I'm sorry," it could be expressed in a way other than words. Her arms calmed me and her grip loosened. If someone had walked in at that moment, it would appear as if a 17-year-old baby was sitting in Tori Vega's lap. I had become completely placid. If someone had walked in at that moment, I would have had to kill him or her for seeing the person I had become.

It was a good thing that no one did; I didn't want to move.

* * *

I didn't notice until it was too late that that first Saturday was the first of many to come where I didn't think about Beck but instead of the comforting Latina. The thought of the Saturdays where he left me became more of a blessing than a curse. I was free to do as I wanted, without having to worry about my "plus one".

As I take a sip of my venti-sized drip with two sugars that has now become lukewarm at best, I realize I haven't been sleeping well so the coffee was more for the caffeine than it was for the taste these days. I recall the first time I felt relaxed was with Tori and I start to feel guilty. I felt something so right by doing the wrong thing with her, yet being with Beck I felt the opposite. He never has that effect on me that Tori brought out every single time.

After the bell rings, I shift out of Beck's grip needing to get away as he stands idly talking to a girl from our class, Samantha, I think. I quickly follow Tori's form out the door and slip my hand into hers as I quickly and subtly pull her through the halls and into the janitor's closet. She offers no resistance, just as I thought, but she also refuses to give even the slightest reaction. Even when I bury my face into the crook of her neck she doesn't move or say a word.

A familiar sweet, vanilla-like scent fills my senses and I start to relax. It's only when I place small kisses along her exposed collarbone that she finally runs her slender fingers through my hair. I almost want to cry at the familiarity of something I had missed so much. A small tug silently urges me on.

I can hear Beck's asking around for where I am and Cat tells him I went to class. She must've saw me pulling Tori here and she's covering our asses, as per usual. I hear the small breath escape Tori's lips as I nip at her collarbone and it drives me insane. She grips my hair and lets out a small whimper. She's driving me crazy. I feel like I'm going to die.

Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.

* * *

**A/N:** To those that had reviewed, thanks! I wish you the best! I hope you enjoyed this installment and I'll probably get the next one in less time than this one took.


	4. Unconditionally

Jade always has a way of getting what she wants and no one really denies anything from her. Who would I be to start? I had tried to resist her, honestly I did, but the second she started placing sweet kisses along my neck, I caved. I wasn't prepared for that type of an assault. I could've taken yelling, silence, and even hitting, but kissing caught me completely off guard.

My hands instinctively go into their position, burying themselves in her long dark tresses and combing out the rare imperfections. This is wrong. She was just sitting with Beck, her boyfriend, minutes ago with her body fully pressed up against his. He's waiting for her right now and I can hear him looking for her but Jade, she knows me inside and out by now. She knows how to make me give up and give in. The second her teeth touch my skin, I melt with a quiet sigh.

* * *

I'd been trying to keep my distance from Jade after that Saturday. I couldn't explain my actions if she asked so I just avoided the whole thing all together. I had officially assimilated into my new school and I didn't want to ruin my good luck streak by coming off as a freak to the most popular girl in school. I knew what power she held over the grape vine and I wanted to stay on the sweet side.

"Are you going to audition for The Wood?" I overheard Beck asking Jade. I took a seat next to them putting my coffee on the table as I checked my bag to see if I had my math homework. As I got more relaxed in my environment, my schoolwork had been put on the backburners. I tried to keep in check with all of my assignments but one or two got lost on the way.

"It sounds so stupid." I looked up in disbelief hearing Jade's voice. If anything, I thought she would be the most excited for a chance to be on TV.

"I think it sounds fun-"

"I don't care what you think." I winced a bit at her sharpness and tried to shrug it off. Jade sat quietly as she sipped her coffee as Beck and I discussed the idea. I hoped that it was the usual snarky Jade rather, not a new breed of pissed off Jade.

"Two sugars." The goth demanded. It was only then did I realize that she was drinking _my_ coffee. Beck made no effort to remove his arm from her shoulder. "Well?" She asked sternly. Was she honestly telling me? I didn't want to start the day off on the wrong foot so I sauntered off toward the GrubTruck to grab sugar to appease Her Highness.

"Here." I tossed the small packets on the table in front of Jade, but she was already putting the cap on as Beck was getting out of his seat.

"No, thanks. I'm good." She handed me the cup and got up. "See you at auditions."

I was a bit bewildered, trying to wrap my head around what had just happened but just grumbled to myself and decided to put the sugar in since I already went through the trouble to get it. I grimaced when I took the cap off and saw bubbles floating at the top mixed in what I could only assume was saliva. "GROSS!" I called out after Jade.

Jade and I didn't see much of each other once the cameras for the new reality show were rolling. We were all pretty much busy doing our own thing and she didn't want to be seen around me. Understandable. But although I completely understood, it didn't mean that I wasn't disappointed or hurt.

"Alright, let's view this." Andre settled on my couch with Beck opposite of him, waiting for the show to start. The advanced screening of the pilot episode is sitting in my DVD player, waiting for its audience. I look around for Jade and I'm surprised when she calls out from upstairs.

"Wait, when did you get here?" I asked, confused. I didn't see her earlier when Beck arrived. I was stunned that I didn't realize that she here the whole time. "Where have you been?" I continued after she answers my question so nonchalantly.

I usually don't let anyone into my room; I enjoy my friends and closeness but I need my own personal space. I'm usually a very private person. I started to get flustered at the little smirk and bite Jade sent my way. If I didn't know any better, I would've found it oddly seductive. Good thing I knew better. Honestly, I don't know what she could've found there but the thought alone made me feel uneasy. What was also strange was that no one else found her behavior unusual. I did my best to let it slide. She must go through everyone's rooms in her free time. Probably looking for ways to take people down in case of an emergency by means of blackmail.

I took my usual seat next to Jade by force of habit. It was a bit tight on space since Beck was there as well but I didn't even have time to process it before her hip bumped me to straight on to the floor. I almost snapped back at her but restrained. I was not in the mood for her attitude.

Before it even started, I should've known that The Wood would focus on Hollywood Arts' power couple. Beck and Jade, or as the lower people on the social food chain liked to call them: "Bade." The two of them separately are unbeatable but when you put them together, it's unthinkable. They're untouchable. I could only hope that the crew didn't catch on to Beck's weekend extramarital activities. I started to get nervous when they talk about Beck and his unfaithfulness and Jade did a great job at acting like she had no idea. I couldn't believe that he wasn't more careful about this.

'_Kill me'_ was all I could think over and over when a forged phone conversation played on the screen. '_Oh dear merciful God, strike me down now' _I silently prayed. I knew by the time this was over, Jade would gladly answer my prayers. Her attention was pulled more and more as the seconds dragged on and she leaned closer to the screen. It was pure torture. The producers had warped my phone call with my aunt and a phone call Beck had made and in an instant erased all the progress Jade and I had been making.

I shake my head furiously, denying the existence. I couldn't even look at her and words wouldn't form in my throat. I knew I was done for. Even though I was innocent, I knew I was going to get it. In less than a minute after the clip ended, the furniture was over turned and she was on my back. Andre and Beck did their best to get her off of me but she got in a few good pulls at my hair and punches at my ribs before I was free from her wrath. Exhausted, Beck and I tried our best to explain but she wasn't having any of it. Luckily, the staff was more than willing to admit the truth about the fabrication.

After the small reenactment for the cameras, I was glad Jade and I had already mastered the art of stage fighting. The two of us finally found ourselves alone, settling into our usual spots back at my house once the shots were taken care off. Finally, I got the chance to relax.

"See, I told you this could be fun." I smile as I throw my feet up on the table and cross them at the ankle. The last couple of hours were all water under the bridge. Without the constant hassle of the cameras and our friends, this moment was a welcome break from the show, getting back to real reality for a second.

"Whatever." She pushed me playfully. It was a welcome change when she didn't force herself to hide her smile anymore.

We had both forgotten about the hits that Jade had gotten in earlier and at the nudge on my side but I was quickly reminded. A few quiet seconds passed as the pain subsided and I heard her speak up again.

"You know how sensitive that topic is for me." I could only nod. I did know. I was pretty sure I knew better than anyone else. "I was furious that you went behind my back after all that has happened and I reacted, okay?"

"Okay." I answered. I was going to protest that nothing happened, but she already knew that. Rubbing it in her face wouldn't have done either of us any good.

"It's just, you know how I feel about all this crap and the fact that you would go behind my back-"

"I didn't. I wouldn't." I cut her off. I know she was just trying to explain herself but I needed to make my stand clear. I was on her side. I wouldn't hurt her like that. I wasn't him. I actually cared about her feelings.

"Good. You know, I'd kill you if you actually did, right?" She laughed and nudged me again. I tried to get out a good chuckle too, but I was cut short at the light tap. Her face drops the playfulness. "It's not that bad. Man up, Vega."

I nervously tried to brush it off as she did, but even the small movements were a bit more strained than I thought it would be.

"Show me."

I looked at her wide-eyed. "No, no. You're right. It's totally fine!" I stood up and stretched my back. I hid a grimace and smiled down at her.

Jade rolled her eyes and I figured she had dropped it but she flicked her finger against my sore spot and I fell back on the couch.

"Owwie!" I cried and fell onto the couch. I instantly curled up into the fetal position.

"Quit being such a baby and show me." She insisted and wouldn't let up.

I had no time to realize what she was doing before she started to lift up my shirt. "Stop it!" I whimpered and pushed her away.

"You just-" Her voice was firm, "Stay still!"

With the sharp demand, she grabbed my wrist tightly and yanked my shirt half up. "Look it's fine!" I see her face fall a bit when she got a closer look.

Only a couple of hours had passed but there was a bruise already forming in the aftermath.

"Yeah, sure. Fine for a sadist like you." I narrowed my eyes and tried to pull the fabric back down. It's not that I'm uncomfortable with my body but it was still a weird position to be in, especially with Jade.

"Wow, this is worse than I thought." Her fingers traced the outline of the bruise and I shivered unconsciously. She ignored my protests and mindlessly pushed up the band of my bra as well, trying to see where the bruise extended. I had to bite my lip to hide my uneasiness. I forcefully pushed down my shirt and quickly moved away. Her touch was awkward and I wanted it to stop. Mixing pain with pleasure was a strange little sensation that I wasn't used to.

Things seemed to change from that point on. We would talk more at school, nothing friendly mind you, but it was nice not to be ignored anymore. We were actually having a bit of fun with the show, but filming was cut short though due to the competitive nature of one Jade West. One thing about Jade that is no secret to anyone is that she hates to be upstaged. When Beck and Andre put on a show at school, she was quick on her toes to think of a way to one up them. Though it would eventually get me into a lot of trouble over our high school career, it was nice to finally be on Jade's team for once.

* * *

Jade's kisses are needy but still manage to stay chaste. I pull her closer and one of my hands moves down to her waist. I keep one hand tangled in her hair, giving a small tug every so often. I've learned from experience that it'll keep her right where I want her. It keeps her completely distracted.

I start to lose myself, too. My senses are overwhelmed and my fingers slip under her shirt and graze her hip. I push up into her, pulling away to get air as I reverse our positions. I hold her up against the door and I nip at her lip. My hands crave her skin as badly as my lips craved hers. Just as I'm about to have my right hand join my left to explore her stomach, she pushes away sharply.

"We have to stop." She keeps her arm extended out in front of her, warning me not to come any closer.

"What?" I ask incredulously through heavy breathing. "Wait, what?" My voice gets firm and demanding. I lick my lips and take a moment to calm myself. No matter how hard I try, I can't wrap my head around this. "You're the one that brought me here." I exclaim a bit accusatory.

"Yeah, well, I made a mistake." I can feel my temper starting to rise. Enough of this wishy-washy bullshit, she was never really well attuned to my feelings or the destruction that her actions often bring. She turns to the door, "Let it go."

"No." I grab her wrist firmly with one hand and the other gets a grip on her chin. I turn her face so she's forced to facing me. I don't like to show my temper show but Jade always knew how to push me. "What? Are scared that I'm too close? That I know what's really on the inside?"

I know I should stop but enough is enough. "All your insecurities? That you're just afraid?" My eyes bore into hers, making sure she keeps my gaze. For a moment, I see fear shoot across her expression that quickly turns into anger.

"Get over yourself, Vega. It was fun while it lasted but it's over now." I know her words were meant to hurt me and they do their damage. I feel my face tightening up and I swallow hard. Jade moves out of my grasp that I no longer have the will to hold.

"I know you, Jade. I know you inside and out. I know what you're like, I know when you lie, and I know you're worth it. I'm not going to leave you when you're having a bad day. I won't use you. Just stop running already." I know she's uncomfortable when she starts to shift on her boots. She knows what I'm going to say next and I know she's going to try to get away before the words leave my lips.

The door closes and she leaves me in room, alone. "I love you."

* * *

**A/N:** Uhh… So, there aren't too many people reading this, but those of you who are, is it okay if I change the rating? Or would you rather it stay T-rated? Let me know because sometime in the near-ish future I'm thinking of adding it to the story. You know, the smut-ness.

Also, I wanted to say thanks to ScottyBgood and Invader Johnny for the support over the chapters. You guys rock!


	5. Someday

I couldn't do anything but stand there dumbly as Tori's stern eyes bore into mine. I had let her get so close to and she was absolutely right. She knows me better than I know myself these days. She's absolutely right, as usual, about everything.

I start to feel my pulse start to climb as I study the familiar expression on her face. My breathing starts to get shallow and I can barely think.

_'Don't say it_.' I chant to myself. '_Don't you dare fucking say it._'

I get myself out of that room as quickly as I can. I can't bear to hear those words that I know that are coming. She had learned not to say it again after the first time she had let it slip, but I knew it was coming.

Pacing the halls, I start to bite at the inside of my cheek. I can feel my palms getting sweaty and I just want to get off of campus but I can't miss 6th period with Beck or he'll know that something is up. I try my best to calm down but nothing seems to help.

"What do you want from me?" I move back to stand in front of the closed closet that Tori is still burrowed inside of. I get a sense of security from the wooden door between us. False security, but I'll take that over nothing. I pound a closed fist loudly against the door, trying to relieve a bit of frustration. My knuckles are turning white and my nails are digging into my palms.

"What? Do you actually think that we could work it out? That I'd just break up with Beck and come out to the school as a flaming _dyke_?" I snarl at the word. "Sure, everyone will accept that with open arms!" I throw my hands in the air for emphasis.

I can already imagine people talking behind my back, pointing and giving me a look of disgust. "I'm going to be an actress. I can't just be _gay._" I say, my voice dripping with venom at the poisonous word. I'm glad the hallways are empty as I vent out in the middle of the day. She had to understand, there was no way that she didn't. She was in the exact situation with being a songstress.

"Not everyone can be as happy-go-lucky as you, Tori." A low rumble in my throat echoes as I try to keep my temper and feelings at bay. I know I'm failing at least one of these things.

* * *

I had to admit that Vega wasn't all _that_ bad. Sure, she was annoyingly optimistic a lot of the time, but it had worked in my favor one time or another. Her disgustingly pure intentions to be good had got her roped into raising enough money for my play _Well Wishes_ and that was definitely something I couldn't complain about.

I knew I shouldn't have pressured her into raising that kind of money, especially on such short notice, but I wanted it so badly. I had worked so hard on that screenplay and it deserved to be put on. I may have been selfish for putting Vega in that situation but I _needed_ it. I needed more than anything for just this one to be on.

It was a few days after she agreed to find the money and tried to back out several dozen times that I decided to pay the Latina a visit at her house. I must've been hanging out with way her too much because I had never really had a huge sense of sympathy before. But now, I almost feel, dare I say, guilty? Whatever. I just wanted to get it over with already.

I was surprised when Trina answered the door. Normally she made the younger Vega get it but I quickly pushed past her yelling a firm "NO!" and headed straight to Vega's bedroom. Her room had become a semi-familiar sight by now. The way she had reacted the first time, I could tell by that being there, I was overstepping my boundaries. But that's kind of my thing; boundaries and I don't get along well.

Her room was quiet for the most part. I could see her laptop open to TheSlap and it was surprisingly on my page. I chose to ignore it, not really thinking much of it at the time. I leaned against the doorframe and rested a solid boot against the light-colored wood. I turned my gaze to the charity worker.

"You don't have to raise the money." I let out with a sigh.

Vega was lying back on her bed, deep in thought. She hadn't noticed me. I felt like I had intruded on something when noticed how quickly she sat up. Her hair was slightly tousled as if she had been running her hands through it over and over.

"How'd you get in here?" She asked, clearly startled by the look on her face.

I grimaced at the tone of her voice; I couldn't help but feel unwelcome. Even if I had just show up in her room uninvited, she should've at least pretended to be hospitable.

"You're not the only one that lives in this house, you know." I replied bitterly.

I moved deeper into the room and walked straight past her. Grabbing the chair at the table, I spun it around and I straddled the back. I crossed my arms over it before resting my chin atop. I watched her with narrowed eyes from my new perch.

Realizing that I wasn't leaving any time soon, Vega flopped back onto the bed and stared blankly at the ceiling with a loud groan. She had those glow-in-the-dark stars plastered across it messily, you know, the kind that you make your parents buy for you when you're eight and you excitedly put them everywhere. Most people I know took them down when they got to middle school, but hers were still standing. She sure does have a strange obsession with stars.

I switched my attention from the room back to her and watched her movements idly, waiting for her to speak up. "No, you were right. I said that it shouldn't be that hard. I can think of something."

She was so foolishly determined. I couldn't tell if it was admirable or just plain stupid. I still have that dilemma about things she does today.

I raised my brows and snapped back to reality when I realized that I was no longer staring into nothingness, but looking at her surprised brown doe-like eyes. I straightened up in my seat and shook my head a bit. She refused to ditch the confused look and I quickly decided to distract her from the fact that I was just caught staring.

"Thanks." I mumbled under my breath as coldly as possible to show her I haven't gone soft. Not the best distraction but it did catch her off guard.

I should've known that Vega would one day feel free to visit my house at her own will after all of the unexpected visits I had paid to hers, but when she showed up seemingly out of the blue, she caught me off guard.

"Jade! Guess what?" She exclaimed excitedly as she was rushing through the half closed door of my bedroom.

I hadn't heard the doorbell ring earlier over the running water and I take it that Little Miss Skinny Jeans thought it was okay to just enter the household. I had just finished washing my face and was in the middle of patting it dry.

"What are you doing here?!" I questioned firmly. I'm just short of freaking out and I'm not even sure how she found my room in the decently large house. Vega, being the Vega that she is, just pushed through my bedroom and continued to make her way to where I was, in the bathroom. My eyes stalked her every movement and when I refused to move and let her in, she sucked in her stomach and squeezed between the door and me. She let the toilet lid drop with a loud crash but just shrugged it off and sat.

"So," Vega continued, "I got the money." Her grin was as proud as a momma bear's.

"You see, I was getting Chinese food with Andre and Robbie and we were trying to think of a way to raise the money, but the owner, Mrs. Lee or something like that, overheard us and…" Vega started quickly and rambled on. I gave her a deadpan look, waiting for her to finish her sentence. "She said that she'd front the money!" She finished excitedly. Her hands went up in the air in a joyous celebration but I just rolled my eyes in response and continued to dry my face. I heard her clear her throat and brush it off while I looked at my pale reflection for a moment before applying toner.

"We have to meet her after school tomorrow. You'll be there, right?" I could hear the disappointment in her voice when I didn't give her the reaction that she was expecting. I just hated getting my hopes up and have them fall into dust later when things don't work out. It's not like it hasn't happened before.

I could feel her eyes watching me as I moved around in front of the sink, watching my every move as if she had never seen anyone wash their face before.

"Quit staring at me!" I snapped when I couldn't stand her gaze any longer. "Look, I didn't think anyone was coming over, okay?" I had NEVER been caught without my makeup before. I don't even let Beck see me without my face on. I almost felt naked without it and her eyes on me didn't put me at ease at all.

"What?" A soft whisper slips out of her mouth, slightly scared. I almost felt bad for yelling but couldn't be bothered to apologize.

"I didn't know you'd be here. If I had, I wouldn't have taken my makeup off." I explained with an irritated sigh and tossed the towel in her face. I rubbed my temples for a bit, calming myself before I got a headache. "You don't have to stare you know." I narrowed my eyes at her, her eyes still looking confused.

"Wait, what? No, I mean-" She started to ramble off, "No, I mean, I was just surprised."

I rolled my eyes in defeat and dropped my hands to my side. I cleaned up a bit, drying the counter and putting all my cleansing products in the right place.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." I scoffed.

"Jade!" She voiced loudly.

I quickly whipped my head around when I heard the urgent sound of my name being called. It was immediately followed by a click.

"Thanks." She said with a smile and a wink. Oh, how I wanted to wipe that smug little grin off her face.

"YOU'RE DEAD, VEGA!" I threatened while lunging towards her, missing her by a hair when she slipped past me and into my bedroom. She quickly jumped over my bed and waved her phone in front of my face tauntingly.

"Be there tomorrow." She threatened. It didn't work very well when she was grinned playfully at the same time, but I wasn't taking any chances. "Or…" She scrolled through her photos and held it up so I could see. The flash made my face look sickly and the expression on my face looked almost frightened. "This will be posted on your Slap page for everyone to see."

Blackmail? Seriously? Tori Vega was blackmailing _me_? Oh how she underestimated Jade West.

"Five." I started counting down. This little trick always worked on Cat and Beck.

"Four." My voice was unrelenting and I crossed my arms over my chest. My fingernails started to dig into my arms.

"Three." I could tell she was having an internal debate about what to do as her eyes flicked back and forth between her phone and me.

"TWO." My voice got louder as I got closer to the end of the countdown.

"ONE. That's it_._" I jumped over to her, trying to wrestle her phone out of her hand. Pillows flew off my bed and my comforter jumbled into a ball. She was surprisingly strong and I was thrown off by the fight she put up. "Give it to me!"

"NO!" She wiggled her way out from underneath me and held her phone as far away as possible. I could see that she was slightly out of breath and her hair had become a sight to laugh at. She somehow managed to get on top of me and I had no choice but to grab the front of her shirt and pull her down to my face.

"Vega, I'm warning you." I growled through gritted teeth.

"Oh? And what are you going to do about it?" She questioned in an overly cocky tone. I was trapped beneath her as she straddled my waist. She was proud of where she had me. I started to toss and turn to throw her off of me but I lost control when she started to tickle me.

"FINE! FINE. I'll be there." I proclaimed loudly. It took all that was within me not punch her in the gut. "Now get _off_."

Vega was already sporting a bruise from me for the mix up over _The Wood_ and I didn't want to be too much in the red. Although, I still wanted to wipe that smug grin off of her face. After she proudly crossed her arms over her chest and looked down at me, I knew I had to get even.

"Get off, _dear_." I demanded, dropping my voice a bit to make it sound sultry. I couldn't help but smirk when I saw her face furrow in confusion. I let my hair fall over my face slightly and flicked it back over my shoulder. My hands rested on her hips and gripped them gently. "If Beck were to walk in on us now, what would he think?" I asked suggestively in a quiet voice. I sat up as far as I could, inching closer and closer to her face.

Her expression was warped in terror as if I was hurting her. I was a bit offended but it was throwing her off, which is what I wanted. Her look of shock and confusion told me she was putty in my hands. I let my thumbs sneak under the hem of her shirt and her muscles instantly retracted from my touch. She was too stunned to move so I decided to push even further.

My hand pushed up along her stomach and the steady rising and falling of her chest promptly stopped. I kept my eyes focused on hers and I slowly gave up my menacing stare, softening at her look of terror. Was I pushing this too far? Just as I got to the silky skin under her bra, she scrambled off of me with her face as red as a fire truck. I quickly snapped out of the little trance and searched for my phone under the mess we had made. I just barely managed to snap a photo.

"Looks like the playing field has evened out." I smirked, holding up the photo of the bright red Vega to her face, the seriousness of the events prior completely dissipated. "If I ever see that photo of me _anywhere_, there won't be a person alive who knows your name that hasn't seen this." I shake the phone tauntingly in front of her. Before I forget, I make sure to email the photo to myself so I will always have access to it.

"_Jadeee._" Vega's tone of voice was slightly whiney and her face was still tinted slightly pink. "That is _so_ not fair. You told me to take a picture!"

"It's an expression! It wasn't meant to be taken literally!" I snapped and scowled at her only to be disappointed that she still had a goofy look on her face. I could only hope she didn't know that her picture of me was probably worth a lot more to me than my picture of her.

"Get out of my house, Vega." I rolled my eyes and tried to hide a small smile that was taking over my face without my permission. "I'll be there tomorrow, okay?" I intentionally made it sound like I was doing her a favor, yet she happily left without complaint.

Overall working with Vega wasn't all that bad, no matter how much I loathe admitting it. In fact, it was actually quite enjoyable. Sure, we had countless disagreements, especially when it came to sacrificing quality for production, but she managed to find a way out of that mess as well. It wasn't a pretty show, but I got more out of it than what I had lost.

Exhausted after the play, I plopped down heavily on the red couch that has become a second home to me. Once Tori took her usual seat next to me, I tugged at my laces until my heavy boots were off and plopped my feet into her lap. She looked at me in disgust and pushed them off of her. Determined to get my massage, I placed them back over and over again until she finally gave up and gave a disgusted and defeated look.

She pinched the toe of my sock and tossed it on to the ground next to my Docs, the other quickly followed. I was just starting to get relaxed as her palms massaged at the sole of my foot.

"I owe you one." I mumbled out tiredly. I didn't bother to move from my spot and my arm felt like a weight draped over my eyes.

"Fine, you can massage mine after." She laughed lightly as she spread my toes and pulled each one of them until she heard a satisfactory pop. She undid some kinks long the bridge of my foot before switching to the other.

"Don't be a smart-ass. You know what I mean." I rolled my eyes behind their lids. Her hands slowed down a bit but she continued quietly for a moment.

"I didn't know that your dad was like that." She mumbled.

I tried to yank my foot away but she held on to it. She didn't let me retreat from her or the conversation and was trying to relax me with her touch. It surprised even me that it was working.

"Like what?" I asked nastily. "That he hates me or that he's a self-righteous asshole that doesn't appreciate anything but numbers?"

"That he doesn't support you." She whispered. Her hands slowed to a stop and I sat up next to her. My feet drop to the ground and I kept a small distance between us.

"Not everyone's family can be as perfect as yours." I scoffed and stared at an old TV guide on the table. I pretended to be interested in the show _Celebrities Underwater_, wondering how many of them die and make a mental note to check it out later.

We were pulled out of the silence when Trina's wailing voice came echoing down the stairs. The avocado-faced older sister came "dancing" down with her headphones on. Tori and I both raised our eyebrows at each other and she busted out into a small laugh while I let a smile spread across my face.

"Yeah, sure. Perfect." Vega laughed a bit. "Trina would love to hear you call her that."

I watched her sister grab the large tub of mayonnaise and scurry back into her room. God knows what she was going to use that for. My attention was pulled back to the younger of the sisters when I felt the weight of her head fall into my lap. I was about to push her away when she spoke up.

"You're so talented. It's hard to imagine anyone _not_ being proud of you." She looked up at me, an honest smile forces me the look away. "I mean, how many people can say that they have a friend that wrote and directed their own play at the age of 15?"

"Cat, Beck, Andre." I shut my mouth at the fact that not only did I just admit that those clowns were my friends, but Vega was as well. "It's really not that big of a deal for our school."

"But it is!" Vega argued back. She nearly knocked my chin when she sat up in excitement. "Jade, don't sell yourself short. You did a good job tonight. Although… You did endanger the life of nine year-old." She pondered at the thought for a moment and shook her head clear.

"_We_ endangered the life of a nine year-old. _We_." I corrected. It had been her idea.

"Regardless," she dismissed the correction, "you should be proud of yourself."

No one would have ever thought me to be a humble person, but here was Vega, trying to convince me that I need to take more pride in my work. How could she have seen a completely different person that everyone else did?

Vega settled back into my lap and I reluctantly gave into the idea when I realized that I much rather it be her head there than her nasty ass feet. I leaned back into the sofa, throwing my head back and rested my eyes.

"I think he got the message." I heard her voice as my eyes got heavy. My left hand started to comb lethargically through her hair as if it were the most natural thing to do.

"What message?" I mumbled out. My right hand that was tucked under her body started to get numb so I pulled it out and rested it gingerly on her shoulder.

"That you need him." I was too tired to argue. I hadn't intended the play to be a great metaphor or anything that related me personally but it somehow manifested itself out that way.

"I don't need him. I don't need anybody." I insisted stubbornly.

"That's not true." She corrected me in a hushed voice. I peeked from under my eyelid and saw that her eyes were closed too. The blissful look on her face told me that she probably felt quite comfortable in that spot. "You need him, just like you need Beck-"

I instantly scoffed at that. I didn't _need_ Beck. I loved him. There was a difference.

Vega ignored my protest and continued. "Just like you need Cat and you need Andre. Just like you need me."

Her last sentence was noticeably softer than the rest, almost if she was afraid of my reaction. I didn't give her one.

I let it sink in how dependent I'd become on her and my "friends" and that, I really did need them. They handful of them were the only things that kept me from being completely alone. Cat always provided me with a welcome distraction. Even though the red-velvet haired girl could be a handful, she made sure I didn't take life so seriously. Andre was a good muse and entertaining at the least. Beck has shielded me from everyone else; he kept me safe and protected. He gave me confidence I didn't really have without him. And Tori, she has helped me more in the last couple of months than anyone else has done in the years that I've known them. She had been more supportive and even provided friendly (on her half) competition. She has pushed me to be more and helped me when I needed it. I did need them. I needed them all.

I felt the weight in my lap shift a bit as Vega got comfortable. I didn't voice any of my thoughts to her and by the time I decided to leave, the comforting girl had fallen asleep. I awakened her softly and told her to go to her room before I slipped out of the house with my new revelation in mind.

* * *

'_How the hell did we wind up like this?'_ I ask myself as I pace the hallway. This wasn't how things were supposed to be. Things weren't supposed to end up like this. I was supposed to be with Beck and be the picture perfect couple while our good-looking, talented friends supported us. Things were supposed to be so perfect in our little lives that they could make a TV show about us. They should showcase our talents and people would laugh at the shenanigans that we'd find ourselves in. Hell, I'd watch us. It would be like a teenaged version of _Friends_ or some shit like that.

My heart drops when I see Tori come out into the hallway. She looks defeated and I have to fight against my heart to keep my feet glued to floor. I battle with the urge to pull her back into my arms and tell her that I everything will be all right.

With heavy eyes, I watch her walk away and I could imagine her tail between her legs. I would play God if I could. Write out our story like a script we do in class everyday. I would tweak at it to make it perfect and make sure everything played out like how I want it and how she deserves. Not a cheesy Hollywood-style horror film but something appropriate. For us.

The most I can do right now is make a promise to myself. Someday, somehow, I'll make it all right. Just not right now.

* * *

**A/N: **FUCKKKKKK. Okay, so my episodes were mixed up on my computer and told me that Wok Star was after The Wood even though initially I thought it was reverse. I had half of the last chapter written and had to switch it. Only after I finished writing this one that I found out I was right in the beginning. I'm sorry for the mix up but it's too late to change it now. Maybe one day I'll go back and somehow switch it around but I doubt it. Please bear with the mix up… If you didn't notice, GREAT! :D

Since we've gotten a few more followers and the more reviews than usual, I wanted to get this up as soon as possible. It's the summer right now so I have a lot more free time than normal and I got this done quickly. Sorry this chapter is long, it's longer than the first two chapters combined. My chapters seem to be progressively getting longer and longer and if that bothers you, please let me know. I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing but I personally like to read longer stories so I'm trying to beef mine up. Let me know what you guys think. Also, no one seemed to be against me changing the rating on the story so when it gets to that point I'll switch it. I still don't know if I'll go through with it though.

FUN FACT: Fire trucks in Hawaii are yellow. I didn't know they were red until I saw an episode of Family Guy. (Props if you know which episode I'm talking about!)


	6. I Need Your Love

"Jade." I call after her. I've been trying to get her alone for days but she's an expert at avoiding people, although, it does seem as if I'm the only one she's been avoiding lately. She knows that I can't stand the sight of her and Beck together so she's constantly with him. The only get a chance I get her alone is after our musical performing class.

I grab her wrist but she yanks it out of my hand with a sharp glare. She's hiding behind anger again. I know her better than this and she knows I do too. I refuse to move and stand by the door to make sure she hangs back after the room clears out. Our teacher gives a confused look but steps out of the room after the warning bell rings, needing to get to the choir room in time for practice.

"Don't you think we should at least talk about this?" I ask, standing firmly in my spot between her and the closed door.

She grits her teeth and the ticking of the clock echoes in the otherwise silent room. Over the years I've learned to gauge Jade's reactions and right now I know I need to approach this delicately or I'll lose her, quite possibly for good. I take a step closer and take it as a good sign when she doesn't take one backward. I see her fighting within herself and I need to make it stop. Timidly, I take her hand in mine and lace my fingers between hers. I'm met with slight resistance but her hand eventually surrenders and squeezes mine back.

"No one is going to care that you're gay." I whisper softly and rest my forehead against hers. I can feel her short, shallow breaths hitting my face. I know she doesn't believe me by the way she refuses to make any other movements. She won't meet my eyes and her hand becomes slack in mine.

"You don't know that." She bursts out suddenly and loudly making me take a small step back in surprise. She lowers her voice to a more appropriate volume. "You don't know that, Tori."

"Look at Jane and Erika." I offer and give a small smile. "They might not be the most popular girls in school but no one even looks twice when they're together."

"Oh yeah? What about Brittany?" She tries her best to defend her case.

"She's a freak!" Jade's eyes pop out of her head and looks at me as if I just proved her point. "No, I mean not because she's a lesbian, it's because she's just… _weird_." I shudder at the reminder of the time she asked me if she could wash my hands for me.

"Take Sinjin for example. No one thinks that he's weird because he's straight, people think he's weird because he's just…weird." I feel bad for dragging the lanky kid into this, but it's not like anyone would deny it. He makes the perfect example. "Like that time he broke into your house? Yeah, do you remember that?"

To my dismay, this conversation wasn't helping me in the slightest. She just looks more upset.

"I give up." I drop my hands to my side in defeat. "Look, what do you want? Do you want me to just drop everything and forget these last couple of years? Like nothing happened? Just pretend that it meant nothing to me?"

Jade's jaw shifts as she's thinking and I've had enough. Her answer should be clear as day. Her answer _should _be something along the lines of: "No, Tori, you mean a lot more to me than silly reputation." Or, "No, Tori, I love you and not Beck." Or, "No, Tori, I think that we can work through this together." I was expecting so many different scenarios rather than just the pregnant pause I was receiving. As each second passed, I got more and more anxious. The minute that she took to think felt like ten. There really shouldn't have been anything to think about.

"Fine. You know what? You want to be miserable in a hopeless relationship with Beck? That's all on you. I've told you over and over before that being with him is doing more harm than good and you want to poison yourself like that? Be my guest."

I make sure to leave before I can take my words back. I have always found myself apologizing for things that I shouldn't be just to get into her good graces again. It's time I stop. She knows that I'll be back, begging on my knees. I can only hope this time I'll be strong enough to refuse.

* * *

Sitting on my bed, I smiled and admired my dress for Prome. The pink ruffles were formal enough without being _overly_ loud. I'd have to pick something out to cover my arms though; they would feel too bare without any sleeves. I had always wanted to wear a dress like this. The whole thing was definitely something that I wouldn't be able to experience otherwise, unless I became a famous celebrity or something.

"VEGA!" Cue the mayhem. I could hear Jade's voice echoing through the hallway. I sat and braced myself for the storm that would be here in: Three. Two. One.

"You _HAVE _to cancel this stupid ass prom!" She was livid and I could imagine why. I also had to bite my tongue. I knew that I shouldn't correct her about calling it Prome again.

True, it wasn't fair to her that her performance had to be cancelled, but Sikowitz gave me permission and all the arrangements had already been made. She got to put on _Well Wishes_ a couple of months ago, and I figured that after all the work I had put in to that AND into planning Prome, I at least deserved something.

"Jade, I can't. Everything has been planned out." I tried to argue.

"Yeah? You can't?" She stepped closer. Just because I could stand my ground around her outbursts didn't mean I liked them.

"Yeah, I can't." I shrugged and gave a weak smile.

"Because you _planned_ it? That's your reasoning? Oh, yeah? Well, I had preparations done for _weeks_. What the hell am I going to do with 12 gallons of fake blood?"

Jade's intimidation tactics were generally always the same, a loud, demanding voice and close proximity to show that she's the boss.

"Well- Well." I tried to think of a comeback. "I already bought a dress!" I pointed to my closet and she glowered at it.

"One. Last. Chance. Cancel it."

"Jade, look," I started to apologize but she cut me off and slammed the door closed behind her. Jade has a ferocious bark but she usually doesn't bite.

… Except for that time we were stage fighting and she landed me in detention. Or that time she pushed me off the second floor. Or that time she nearly killed me, twice I might add, to get the role of Steamboat Suzy. Maybe I really should be ready for anything. Jade can be a bit unpredictable.

For some reason or another, I found myself smiling. Wait, what? What was wrong with me? She got her kicks out of humiliating and hurting me; it was nothing to be smiling about. But still, somehow I couldn't help but admire her determination and creativity. Things were never boring with Jade West.

When Prome ended, I was proven right; things were never short of interesting. By the time everyone had left and campus was cleared out, it was near midnight and I was exhausted. On top of that, I felt terrible about the whole night and needed to clear things up with Jade. I found myself at said girl's door after Andre had dropped me off. I couldn't just leave things the way they were and I needed to apologize.

"Jade, I know you're home." I called out and knocked at the door for the billionth time with a heavy sigh. All I wanted to do was get into dry clothes and sleep for 97-hundred hours.

When she didn't answer after another couple minutes, filled with determination, I snuck around to the side of her house. I calculated where her room was and grinned to myself. I pulled out the jalousies one by one until I could squeeze through the tiny window. Unfortunately, things didn't exactly work out as planned when the fluff of my dress got caught on one of the hinges and I ended up on my butt. My dress was completely destroyed on the right hand side and I was still wet from the rain, not to mention my makeup must have been running down my face. I felt like a complete and utter mess.

"Have you ever heard of the term 'breaking and entering'?" Jade cooled called to me as she walked out into her room unfazed. She was still in her dress as well, but her face was freshly cleansed. Her hair was pulled out of her face and tied in a loose bun.

"My dad's a cop. Of course I have." I stated while pulling myself when I wasn't offered a helping hand. I dusted my dress off despite its futileness.

"Then you should know that that's what you're doing and it's illegal." Her tone of voice then shifted to a higher pitch. "Should I call your daddy and tell him his little princess is breaking the law?" Her fake pout and baby voice made it clear that she meant it in the most condescending way as possible.

Jade sauntered around her room as if I weren't even there. She finished up her usual cleaning ritual and went to her dresser to change. I had to quickly turn away to avoid staring when she dropped her dress and changed into something else.

No words came to me as I did my best not to bring my attention back to her, though I admit that I stole a couple of glances. I couldn't resist and I hardly doubted that anyone could blame me. Her pale skin looked so pure in the light. I could see all the muscles in her back as she skimmed through the depths of her dresser. I was so entranced by every movement that she made and I had to sit down. It was only when a worn flannel hid my view that I returned my gaze to the floor. If anyone asked, I would've vehemently denied it.

"Don't sit on my bed in your disgusting dress!" She barked out at me, throwing a pair of shorts and another flannel my way. I was barely able to dodge the flying objects and they landed right next to me in the bed.

"Hey! My dress is not disgusting!" I tried to hide my nervousness and turned my back towards her. Surprisingly, Jade came over to me and unzipped the back of the dress for me without me having to ask. "_You_ must've really liked it." I laugh a bit and let the garment take its sweet time to fall to the ground on its own.

"Oh? And why do you figure that?" I could tell hear her voice not too far away. Even though my back was turned, I knew she was still close, possibly sitting on the bed next to me. I quickly threw the shirt on and buttoned it half way. I glanced over my shoulder and make sure she wasn't looking.

I raised both eyebrows when I see her eyes on me and twirled my finger around, signaling for her to do the same. She just rolled her eyes and lied down on the bed instead, redirecting her gaze to the ceiling. That was good enough for me.

"Well, you got a near replica of it, just in green." I smirked to myself. I dropped my panties and quickly slipping into the pants. It felt surprisingly good to be out of the wet clothes and in to her soft pajamas. "Did you honestly think I wouldn't notice?" For once I had finally made Jade speechless. It was a powerful feeling and I realized why she was always grinning when she had the same effect on me.

"I knew that choosing the same dress would piss you off the most." She answered without missing a beat. She even didn't bother to look at me.

Without her snarky attitude, I honestly couldn't tell if she was making excuses or telling the truth. The thought of being upset because of the similar dresses hadn't even passed my mind. Actually, it was more flattering than anything.

"Well, mine is completely ruined now." I kicked the dead dress on the floor. In the process my foot got tangled in one of the straps and I nearly tripped. I looked down at my new nemesis and scowled at it.

"Take mine." She carelessly motioned to the beautiful, dark teal dress hung up on her open bathroom door.

"I-I couldn't, I mean, it's yours. I already ruined your night." Words fumbled out of my mouth.

"I don't want it." She replied. Her cold tone told me she had no attachment to the garment. I knew that it would never look good on me. I knew that it wouldn't match my skin tone and knew well that it was because it matched her eyes that it truly amazing.

That dress is still proudly hanging in my closet.

After little argument and Jade passed the ownership of the dress over to me, I tied my hair up in a messy bun and plopped down on the bed next to her. I didn't have enough time to get comfortable when I found myself on the floor. Again. It always happens and I really should've expected it. I had no excuses.

"Hey!" I cried out from my spot and I was glad my head missed hitting her nightstand by a few inches. "I came here to call a truce." I sat up and rest my chin on the edge of the bed. The comforter was silky and I couldn't resist the urge to rub my face against it.

Jade finally turned to me, "NO!" Her sharp response caused me to find myself on my flat on my back. "Wash your face! It looks like it's melting off."

I grumbled and complained as I slowly stood up. "I'm so tiredddd." I sluggishly shifted towards the bathroom. I generally didn't wear too much makeup and I was confused by all the products Jade had lined up. I just wanted a makeup remover and a cleanser. "Jade?" I called over to the bedroom.

With a groan, I heard the bed creak a bit as she got up. She handed me everything I needed and sat on which will be henceforth be known as the listener's seat.

"That was actually pretty impressive." I heard once my makeup was more or less off.

"Hmm?" I hummed in question, mostly concentrating on taking off my eye makeup.

"Using Doug the Diaper Guy against me. I was impressed."

I laughed and tested the temperature of the water before splashing it on my face. "Well, I learn from the best." I pumped a bit of the face wash into my hands before covering my skin in the foam.

"Why, yes. I am the best." I could hear her smiling as she mocked in an accent that she claims is mine and accepted the 'compliment' whole-heartedly.

"I don't talk like that!" I responded with a snap.

Of course, Jade just laughed the fact off and ignored me. "You have a bit of catching up to do, but you're a quick learner."

I splashed the warm water over my face and finally felt a bit more comfortable. Once I patted my face dry, I followed Jade back into the bedroom and, as usual, once I settled into the bed, Jade tried to push me out of it. But this time, I was on guard. I quickly grabbed onto her wrist and latched my body to hers.

"Get off of me!" She demanded. I couldn't help but burst out into a laugh as she continued to try to push me off.

"Only once you call a truce." I made my demands as well. My legs wrapped around her waist and my chin hooked onto her shoulder.

"Why are you so touchy?" I almost let go when she rolled around but I managed to hang on tightly. Jade somehow or another succeeded in getting off the bed and stood up. I was quite surprised that she could hold my weight.

"I told you, I'll let go when you call a truce." I bargained. I could feel my heart pounding with adrenaline; my exhaustion wore off in the small scuffle.

"Do you know how disgusting Doug the Diaper Guy is?" I could hear her voice clearly next to my ear.

"Do you know how disgusting finding a shrimp in your bra is?" I retorted. I recalled having to literally fish the crustacean out of my cleavage. "How did you ever get that in there?" I pulled away slightly so I could look her in the face. Jade took a step to keep balance so the both of us didn't fall over.

Her eyes narrowed slightly when she raised her lips in a self-satisfied smirk. Man, she's so hot when she does that. Confidence just seemed to ooze off of her.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Her full voice expressed cockiness as well.

My body froze when I felt her hands that were once supporting my rear start to trail up my body. My body reacted instinctively and I flew out of reach her hands slightly grazed the side of my bust.

"JADE!" I call out loudly. I control myself as best I can so I don't turn as red as I did the last time she manhandled me like that. Her teasing wink left warmth on my face and I did my best to shake it off. It wasn't fair that she knew that would work. She seemed to have been using my body against me more often than not recently.

"Alright, I'll call a truce. But, if you _ever_, I mean _ever_, make me dance with an grown adult in a diaper again, you'll have to worry about more than just a measly little shrimp." She finally compromised.

I guess I'll never know how she got it in there.

After that night, things between the two of us had gotten a lot more playful. We would often make jokes at each other's expense, although I still feel like I got the short end of that stick, and all was forgiven. We'd find ourselves in the other's company whenever we had time and had finally found a balance in our friendship.

"How was the practice today?" Jade asked as she scrolled through TheSlap on her phone. She stopped by a little later than usual since I had to stay after school late to practice for my tech theater exam. As weird as it sounds, I had to get help from Robbie. I was surprised that he really knew his stuff. I guess there was a lot more to him than the whole Rex gimmick.

"It was alright." I replied, not even bothering to look up from my textbook. The test was in a couple of days and I really couldn't afford to waste any time.

"Wait," I turned around and faced her, suddenly reminded of the odd practice. "Did you know that Robbie has standies of Cat? As in more than one." I asked excitedly, happy to have someone to gossip with. "I think he likes her, you know."

The deadpanned look she gave me confused me for a moment. "Wait, are you serious?" She asked.

"Yeah! I heard that he even asked her to Prome but she turned him down." Her narrowed eyes tell me that I shouldn't have brought up the whole Prome incident. It was still a sore subject for her but she quickly dismissed the look and shook her head a little.

"Yeah, whatever. Come here." She moved over on the bed so she could take her usual seat. She sat on the right side and left me with my usual spot on the left. "Look."

Jade expertly navigated on her phone and clicked on Robbie's page. Once everything loaded, she went through his pictures. My eyes widened when I noticed that almost half of them are either of the spunky, synthetically red haired girl or with her. Even scrolling through his videos we found that a good handful of them had something to do with her.

"How has no one noticed this before?" I asked incredulously and took the phone from Jade's hands to get a better look.

The goth quickly snatched it back and shook her head pathetically. "Tori, _everybody_ has noticed. Well, apparently everybody except for you."

I remember that moment well. I was stunned and gaped at her in disbelief. Not for the reason someone may believe. Sure, it was a bit unusual to be left out of the loop, especially in our small group, but it was because of the fact that that was the first time she had used my first name so casually. It was the first time that she hadn't said it in spite or in a sarcastic manner. It _almost_ sounded like we were really friends.

Her nose scrunched up and I forced myself out of my reverie. "Well, at least-" I tried not to sound dumb.

"What is that smell?!" Jade asked, completely cutting my sentence and train of thought off.

I mimicked her and sniffed the air for a moment before it finally hit me.

"Oh! Today after Robbie and I were done practicing I went to Lane's office and borrowed some of his lotion." I answered when I recognized the smell.

"My god, it smells horrible! What is it supposed to be?" She tried the best to cover her face in disgust.

"Sour cream and onion." I said proudly. Jade's reaction was not much different than my first impression. I nearly laughed at how she slowly backed away from me when I licked the back of my hand.

"What is wrong with you?!" She shouted, nearly falling out of the bed trying to get away from me.

"Oh come on, just try it."

"No! That's disgusting!"

"LICK IT." I demanded, holding my palm to her face.

Jade shrank into the bed and I couldn't help but laugh at her expense.

"LICK THE HAND, JADE." I continued, playfully. My hand was just centimeters away from her face.

"NO!"

After a few minutes of relentless bothering, she finally gave in. I recoiled in both shock and disgust when she actually stuck her tongue and licked my skin.

"Gross!" I cried out and pulled my hand back. I was just as shocked when Jade sat up and grabbed it again.

"Dude, this is actually pretty good." She stated before she started to lick it again. I stuck my tongue out in disgust when she held my palm to her face again for another lick.

"Stop it, Jade!" I tried to squirm away and was only successful after she got a few good licks in.

"You're the one that told me to." She remarked nonchalantly.

I felt like I would never get tired of her triumphant grin.

If things had stayed the same from that day on, I think we could've had settled in a happy, friendly relationship, but Andre showed up a few days later and things changed completely. The spastic boy showed up in the middle of the night and I was completely out of it but was instantly sobered by his proclamation. He claimed that he was in love with my secret new best friend.

The idea of Andre being in love with Jade was completely absurd. I couldn't comprehend the situation at first. Once the thought had sunken through and I had a few minutes to register what he had said, I could only see this ending badly. Jade already had more than enough problems in her relationship with Beck and she didn't need any more. I just assumed that he had to be out of his mind. Even though I tried and tried to convince him he was just mistaken, he couldn't drop the matter.

'_I should tell her_.' I thought to myself, debating what to do. I tapped the side of my phone as the minutes ticked by. I opened up my address book and scrolled down to Jade's name. I can't help but laugh at the picture I had assigned to her contact. It was one of my very few trophies that I was able to walk away with.

Looking at that wide-eyed, makeup-less Jade, I recalled the night it was taken. I thought back on how much our relationship had changed over the last year and all the crazy things we've been through together. Of course Miss High and Mighty would never admit to us being friends but there was a noticeable change between our chemistry. She could joke around instead of just insult, and the comment about her looking better with less makeup was taken to heart. She had changed her look and although she kept her sharp look, it was a bit softer and less intimidating.

My mind wandered to many different thoughts, all about Jade. Finally, in the end I decided not to call her when I found myself smiling at the memories. I realized that I could deal with it myself without having to get her involved. I didn't want to weigh her down anymore than she already was. She and Beck seemed to have found a balance in their relationship. A disgusting, unfaithful one, but Jade seemed content.

As the week went by, I found that I was overly annoyed with Andre's obsessive behavior. I couldn't stand that he kept talking about her, telling me how he wanted to hold her hand and dance with her. How he would have to fight the urge to just hug her. He had become a madman. He talked about fighting the urges to kiss or how he would get lost in her eyes. He didn't know what it was like to hide a friendship with Jade. I always had to resist the urge to talk to her casually at school or to just lean against her in public. I had been doing it for so long and he thought he had it hard because of a small crush that started not even 24 hours ago? Yeah, right.

I did _everything_ I could think of to shut him up. Thankfully, he got over it on his own or I would've had to strangle him just to shut him up.

"Tori, what is this?" Jade held up a wig that heavy resembled her hair a few days after the Andre's performance of his song for her.

"Uh oh." I let slip out of my mouth as I tried to think quickly, "That- that's from a project I had to help Andre with."

"And is there a reason that it's exactly like my hair?" She asked and cocked a suspicious brow at me.

"Pfft. It doesn't-" I shut my mouth when she held it next to her head signaling that she didn't believe my lies.

"Jadee." I dragged out her name, trying to calm her down. "Don't get mad."

"VEGA." I hated it when she called me that. I felt like we were back to the old Tori and Jade again.

"I said don't get mad! Okay, okay." I took a deep breath, preparing myself. I put my hands up in surrender. "Look, you remember when you were helping Andre with his song for his advanced songwriting class?"

Her look didn't settle one bit.

"Well, okay. Remember how he loved the lyrics you helped him with, but ended up not using it?"

One curt nod.

"Yeahhhh…. He-didn't-love-the-lyrics-so-much-as-he-loved-you." I spat out quickly and backed away so she couldn't get in a swing at me.

"And what does that have to do with this wig?!"

"I said don't get mad!" I tried to approach her meekly. "Okay, so, I was trying to make him fall out of love with you by pretending to _be_ you?" Man _did_ that sound dumb when I said it out loud.

"Jade, look. I mean, in the end it didn't even work." I took a step forward and grabbed her hands to uncurl her fists. "I just- I didn't want to bother you with something so trivial. You have enough on your plate already. I swear. I was just trying to help."

I shyly pulled her into a hug and I wasn't the least bit surprised that it didn't calm her. I waited a few moments and rested my cheek against her neck. I'm sure I was beaming when I felt her arms wrap around me. I took a deep breath and with the gentle scent of what I could only best describe as the ocean, I realized something. I realized that I didn't convince Andre to fall out of love with Jade for her sake. No, it was for a much more selfish reason. I didn't want to share her with anyone else anymore than I already had to.

I wanted her to myself.

* * *

I'm doing my best to give her the space I promised. I'm keeping my distance. I don't say anything when she flaunts around school in a gown trying to attract the flour bomber. I grit my teeth and laugh when it looks like she's kissing Robbie.

I pretend I'm not holding my breath when I pass her classroom. . I chant in my head over and over, trying to convince myself I'm not jealous. I ignore the empty feeling when she doesn't show up at my house on Saturdays. I ignore the pain of seeing her smile without me. I ignore the fact that time seems to have stopped.

When she passes me in the hall, I feel like we're strangers again. I just want to know if she feels the same.

* * *

**A/N:** Hello, everyone! Sorry that this chapter took longer than the last few did. I probably won't be able to update as frequently now that work should be picking up again next week. Also, about the length, I was thinking of splitting the flashback into two different chapters, but with the format, it would switch POVs and it would've been a mess. You just have to bear with me, please. If you have any questions or comments, please let me know. I'm open to constructive criticism and ideas as well. I feel like I had more to say at the end of this chapter but I can't think of anything. I guess I'll end it here. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and are excited for the next. It'll be a little more Jori-y than the last few (I hope. That's the plan any way.) Peace out!


	7. Catch Me

I'm pissed with the way Vega left things. I'm beyond furious. No, wait. Upset doesn't even begin to fill the description of how I feel about the situation. Sure, I'm mad when I see her pretend that things are all right. I hate when she hangs out with our other friends alone. I can't stand it when she smiles at Beck. But those are all trivial feelings. Those are feelings I know how to deal with. Those are feelings that I'm good at dealing with. I'm used to that. The thing that makes this so hard is that I'm _hurt_ when she does exactly what I had asked from her. I expected her to put up a fight. I wanted her to fight for me.

* * *

There was a cricket in Beck's trailer. My god it was loud, and kept us up whenever I was over. After a few days, I just couldn't stand it any longer and completely stopped going over. I couldn't take the noise, and I had I been exorbitantly annoyed with Beck and his everyday caffeine high. I was so irritable after the first week that even just hearing the sound of his _voice_ would set me off.

Now, to top of the already perfect week, I was being forced to do Secret Santa? It was not only the lamest thing I've done since I started high school but also one of the hardest. When the group decided that we weren't exchanging gifts, I got away without having to thinking of something to give to any of them. Hell, Beck and I both agreed that gift giving just because Hallmark decided we should was dumb so I wasn't planning on getting him anything either but, _no_, Sikowitz had to assign us a person to give something to. Not only that, but he gave me _Tori_ _freakin' Vega_, the hardest of them all to think of something. I knew that she wouldn't be easily impressed with something like a stuffed animal like Cat would've or advice to give Robbie to be less of a loser. She would have probably pretend to be happy and appreciative, but I know it wouldn't have been enough. A present to Tori had to be _thoughtful_ and _meaningful_ and all that other bullchiz.

I finally thought of something that she would like, something that was practical and brilliant, if I do say so myself. I shifted on the sofa, trying to get comfortable after having Tori's hands all over me as she searched for what she knew she would find. The reversal of positions was a bit strange. If I wanted to get a reaction from her, all I had to do was slip a hand along her hip or pull her body close up to mine. We were both used to that arrangement but she usually wasn't one to be so bold. I was surprised that she really got in there, patting along my sides and even finding my hidden pair in my waistband. I swear she's getting bolder and bolder every time we meet.

"What are those freaks doing?" I asked and looked over my shoulder at the excessively large tree and wondered how it got into the house. I got comfortable with my arms spread out in both directions along the back of the couch.

"Flocking?" She answered in more of a question than a statement. She didn't look too sure of her answer but didn't hesitate when she decided to sit close to me. She threw her head back and rested it against my arm and her body leaned slightly against mine. Honestly, I would've loved to say that it was annoying and stupid and she was being overly clingy, but I had gotten used to the Latina. Her persistent, insistent closeness and need to be around me or touching me had become something that I almost craved. I light brush there. I flirty touch here. It was a fun little game. It was harmless, so why not? It was in those few times that she wasn't within arm's reach of me that I would feel uncomfortable. It would feel like something as wrong. We had developed a sort of physical dependency and had come to the point where I felt like her being around me was something that she _needed_. And I loved it.

"Oh, fake snow?" I replied after a few moments of thinking. My hand rested on her shoulder opposite of me and tapped the melody to "Jingle Bells" as it played in the background. I could hear Robbie cleaning up in the kitchen after being blasted in the face with the toxic foam before running out of the house, crying. Trina must've felt insulted and stormed into her room or whatever. I never really pay attention to her.

After the occupants of the room left and it had fallen more or less silent, I looked over to the tree and smiled devilishly.

"Shall we?" I asked in an overly deep voice.

Tori turned to face me, confused but caught on quickly and returned the smile. "Why, yes we shall." She replied, trying to mimic my tone. She jumped out of the seat and raced me to the machine. "So, how do you think you work this thing?"

I searched the side of the machine for some sort of explanation, sitting on my ass to get closer to the floor. "It says to-"

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, TORI! THIS IS MY FAVORITE SHIRT." I shouted loudly after she sprayed my front.

"Jade, no. It was completely an accident." She took a few steps backward but never relinquished the hose.

"Yeah, an accident my-" I was cut off again when she aimed and sprayed at my face.

"VEGA!" I wiped my face as best I could, grabbing the base of the hose and reeling it in. When I got the nozzle, I aim it at her and give it to her two-fold. I was determined to wipe that look off of her face. "You shouldn't have done that!" Every time I stopped spraying her and she tried to speak, I would silence her relentlessly.

"Jade, that's not fair!" The front of Tori's shirt and most of her jeans were covered and you couldn't see anything through the two-inch layer of foam.

"Well, I told you that you shouldn't have done that." I grinned proudly.

"So you think you've won?" She smiles deviously at me. I'm taken off guard.

"Oh, no Vega. I know I have."

"Think again." Tori leaped from her side across the room and her arms wrapped tightly around me. I could feel the substance squishing between our bodies, covering my whole front side to match hers. The sound was detestable at best. Of course Tori would make her revenge torture for me as well.

"Ugh, get off of me!" I tried to scramble away but my boots couldn't get a firm grip on the ground. The whole living room area was covered in the artificial snow and, although it sounds like a pretty picture, it really wasn't. It "snow" was all concentrated in certain areas and most of it was on the walls around us and floor at our feet.

Somehow in the midst of trying to pull away, I found myself on my back staring at the ceiling with Tori sitting on my waist. How we always find ourselves in this position bemuses me but before I could get upset, the sound of Tori's laughter curbed my anger.

"What's so funny?" I challenged.

"You should see your face." Tori didn't pull back her punches.

"You should see yours!" I couldn't think of a proper comeback fast enough.

Tori grabbed a bit of the "snow" and fluffed it on my face and lined my upper lip to create a mustache. She held her hand to her chin to think which ended up creating a small goatee on herself but she quickly caught on and wiped it away. Gathering more of the froth, she plopped it on my chin to make, what I was assuming to be, a Santa beard.

"Having fun there, Vega?" I kept my eyes on her as she admired her work.

"Immense amounts of it." She admitted. She wasn't really paying attention to what I was saying but more to her work-in-progress. Her hands moved around my face, rearranging the fluff to make different personas. Once in a while she would announce the name of the person that she was trying to replicate and I would do my best impression.

It's really strange. Tori seems to have this weird effect on my sense of time. When we were fooling around like that, hours could easily pass by quickly without me noticing, but when she looked at me so intently, I felt like we're caught in a timeless void.

Her hands slowed and by now most of my face was clean. Her thumbs would lightly brush my skin, cleaning it the best she could. Her soft fingers moved from my cheeks to lingering on my lips, her eyes dropped down to join them. I felt a bit self-conscious at her nearness and I nervously licked my lips.

Tori's intense eyes looked so concentrated, it was as if my face was a puzzle and it would give her all the answers she would ever need. Her face inched closer little by little and my hands found their way behind her neck. There was a pull between us and we both were attracted to it. I could feel her nervousness radiating off of her body and her skin was overly warm and clammy. Her brown eyes finally glanced back up to meet mine just for a moment before her lips were tenderly pressed against mine.

Our lips had barely touched when she started to pull back but for some reason my hands wouldn't let her go. They pulled her back down to me so I could feel her soft, shy lips once again. An overwhelming sense of need surged through me and I shifted underneath her, needing my body to get closer to hers. Desperate to have more of her, I moved my lips against hers in attempts to coax hers to do the same. She must've felt encouraged because she let her lips part slightly when I brushed my tongue along the bottom. My fingers weaved into her hair and I gave a small tug when I felt her teeth graze my lip. A heavy sigh rolled out of our mouths simultaneously.

"Sorry…" A small apology halfheartedly escaped from her lips. It was like she was unsure if she should say it or not. She didn't move for what seemed like eternity.

"It's okay." My hands brushed through her hair a bit at the base of her neck, trying their best to keep her calm and where she was. I reluctantly had to remove them when I felt her moving out of her spot. Leaning up onto my elbows, I half sat up and looked at her. She looked so ashamed. "Hey, don't worry about it, okay?"

She probably didn't notice that her finger was tracing her lips. "Hey…" I tried to call her attention. Even I didn't know my voice could be so soft. My right hand moved to stroke her hair soothingly. "We'll just pretend it never happened, alright?" She just looked at me blankly and nodded.

"Tor? You okay?" I asked. Once she moved from her position above me, I sat up fully and crossed my legs underneath me. She honestly looked like she was on the brink of tears so I gently pulled her into my arms and kissed her cheek. God, I just wanted to hold her and keep her from her thoughts that seemed to be plaguing her.

"I'm fine." Her voice wavered a bit but I let it drop when she buried her face in my neck.

"Good. Then let's get cleaned up." I pulled away slowly and gave her a smile, hoping that the change of topic would ease her mind.

It's weird. When I was with her, I became someone new. I became someone different. I was this person that wanted to take care of her. I wanted to protect her. I felt like she was this fragile little girl and that it was my job to fight off all the evils that haunted her.

Overall, that Christmas's Secret Santa event went down as smoothly as you would expect from our group of misfit friends. Luckily, no one had to go Christmas yodeling with Sikowitz and Tori seemed pleased with her present, even if it wasn't really a present to her. Due to the cricket incident, I had found myself spending more days than not at the Vega household. At first it was just to get away from it but even after the little piece of shit was murdered I didn't break the habit. I didn't _want_ to break the habit. Although nights alone were less, for a lack of better words, _satisfying_, I actually felt more relieved and comfortable spending more of my time with Tori.

"What's this?" I asked questioningly. Tori handed me a small box covered neatly in snowflake wrapping paper with a small green bow. I sat up from her bed and looked at her curiously. I grabbed the generic Christmas tag and read it.

"I know that we normally wouldn't give each other gifts since we did Secret Santa already, but I still wanted to get you something small at least." She tried to shrug it off as if it was no big deal, but I could tell she was nervous by the way her hands were fidgeting with her shirt. She refused to sit and so I wordlessly and unceremoniously ripped the paper off.

A necklace. I pulled out the silver pendant and examine it closely. It looked like a little screw that dangled low on a ball chain. It was brilliantly simplistic and wasn't too feminine nor would anyone consider it masculine.

"I was thinking of what to get you, I mean, I wanted to get you something that you didn't have but I thought you might like." She started to ramble. "I mean, it isn't much and you don't have to wear it. It was called 'Screw You' and I thought, wow, this would be perfect for Jade, but now that I think of it, it seems-"

"Tori, it's perfect." I cut her off gently. "Really, it is. Thank you."

I clutched the necklace in my hand for a bit before holding it out to her. "Could you?"

I turned around and pulled my hair off to the side. Tori's hands reached around me and clamped the necklace securely around my neck. Chills ran down my spine as her fingertips grazed my skin and I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand. I did my best to suppress a shiver and could only hope that Tori didn't notice.

The pendant fell just above my cleavage and could easily be hidden under a shirt if I wanted to avoid any questions as long as it wasn't low cut. I wondered if she had thought that out when she purchased it. The necklace was a beautiful and thoughtful gift. It's not fair that things like this seemed to be so easy for her and yet I could never have picked something like this out for her. The thought of getting Tori something more than just the idea for Secret Santa did cross my mind a couple of times but I thought she'd might find it too excessive. Also, I'm just an overall terrible gift giver.

"I didn't get you anything else." I admitted out loud, abashed.

"No- I didn't expect you to. You already got me a great gift and saved my butt big time." Her fretful face was a bit comical and it caused a smile.

"Let's go out." I proposed firmly. "On Christmas Eve. I'll find somewhere nice and we can celebrate it together."

"Like a date?" She asked a bit confused. Her brows came together and I know she could tell that I really didn't think this through.

I tapped the space between her eyes, pushing the furrowed brows to relax and grinned in response. "Sure. Like a date."

As teenagers, we don't get the chance to dress up to go out very often unless it's for a show or something so it was a nice change. We both wore dresses and it wasn't nearly as awkward as I thought it would be. The restaurant was nice but it wasn't stuffy and no one we knew was around. We mostly talked about our friends and laughed at stories about each other's families. Simple. Besides the few brief touches of our arms or the occasional brush of our legs, it seemed like a completely normal girls' night out. Well, what I assumed what a normal girls' night out would be like. I hadn't really had many with Cat being the only girl I could tolerate for most of my life.

We said our goodbyes as Tori got out of the car at the end of the night. I watched as she walked up the driveway and she gave a small wave with a loud smile before she unlocked the door.

"Tori, wait." I called, rushing out the car behind her. The loud slamming of the driver's door echoed through the quiet neighborhood and caught her attention. "I had fun tonight."

I tried not to sound as uneasy as I felt. My hands tried to reach out to hers but they lost their nerve. Seeing my apprehension, Tori gently took initiative and took hold of my hands.

"Me, too. Thanks for dinner. It was actually really nice." Her genuine smile shone brightly, out shining the porch light by far.

"'Actually'?" My face warped in offence. "Did you think I was going to do something to you?" I mean, I couldn't blame her, but I was hoping she had a little more faith in me than that.

"No, no. That's not what I meant at all." Her gentle laugh filled the air and I let out an internal sigh of relief. "To be honest, I was afraid it was going to be awkward or something. I don't know. I guess I had nothing really to worry about. We _are_ friends, no matter how badly you deny it."

Her eyes trailed down to my neck and she traced her finger along the chain that had loosely hung there since she had since the day she put it on me. With a light tug, the small pendant freed itself from the top of my dress and she examined it. She seemed so sincerely happy just seeing it on me, it was if she didn't think I would ever wear it.

With a tiny smile, she kissed my cheek softly. "I'll see you later, right?"

There it was again. The shyness that seemed to arise whenever we talked alone now. It was unusual and unsettling to see this unsure Tori again. I leaned in a captured her lips in a quick yet urgent kiss. My hands pulled her closer into me as I felt hers wrapping around my neck. I let out a small hum when she gently pulled at my hair. I didn't want to pull away for air, needing my lips to be on hers.

I wanted to bury that timid Tori and make the playful, confident Tori come back out for good. I wanted the feeling of this, of everything, to last for as long as possible. I didn't know how long we'd continue this little charade. I knew she'd leave me eventually but I couldn't help but wanting to see where this was going. When I was with her, I couldn't help but laugh when I sang. I couldn't help but smile, even in my sleep. I was running into her at full speed and I didn't know how to approach it. Letting her in would be giving her power over me. She could tear me down without even trying.

All I could think was, '_p__lease don't break me_.'

* * *

It's a bad time not be on Vega's good side right now. After learning that the winners of _Brain Squeezers_ get 10k, I wanted in. I can't believe that the story, although a lie, about my mother didn't win sympathy points with her, though. She's a huge sucker for tragic stories like that and had never failed to put everything she's got into helping me before.

I'm sure she's learned her lesson after the little stunt at the show when I took her place, but I wasn't sure if it was worth it. That bullchiz show ruined my teeth.

The bag of ice that was cooling the bruise on my head was half empty so I dumped it in the sink. I had spent most of the night next to the ice machine for easy access but I'm forced to get up from the kitchen counter when I hear the doorbell ring.

"What are you doing here?" I try my best to ignore the slight whistling when speak. The light thumping of my throbbing head distracts me so I don't notice her slipping past the door.

"Are you okay?" Vega keeps her distance, but there is no mistaking the sympathetic look she keeps giving me. "Let me see." She moves up to me and lifts my lip slightly to see the gap between my teeth. "How's your head?"

"Don't touch me!" I snap. Even under her cautious touch the bruise stung sharply.

Vega expertly moves around my kitchen and gets a new bag to fill with ice. "Sit." She commands and holds the ice against my head. "I'm sorry about all of this but none of this wouldn't have happened if you didn't try to steal my spot on the show." Her voice was firm and berating.

"I shouldn't have had to do that! Why wasn't I on your team?" I snap back. The loudness of my voice makes my head throb more fiercely so I have to lean back.

"After you _lied_ to me about your mom? You tried to manipulate me to doing what you wanted. And, the nerve you had to even come on a Saturday! I was genuinely worried for a moment!"

I hadn't even noticed that. I didn't think anything of the small white lie but it was way more than that to her. It wasn't just a small fib but it was a betrayal of her trust. Although I hadn't meant it to be such a stab in the back, I could see why she was so upset.

"You shouldn't be here." I can't even begin to think of excuses for my actions.

"I came to see if you were alright! A car battery was dropped on your head. Because of _Beck_! And where is he now? Why isn't he here to see if you're alright?" Her voice rose in volume, as did her temper.

"Don't _even_ bring him into this. You and I both know that it's not about him."

"You're right. I didn't come to compete with him. I was genuinely concerned about you but now I can see that it was a waste of my time." Vega's attitude had quickly changed to one of apathy.

I feel my temper rising but I try to suppress it. Those words again. _'Waste of my time.' _She probably doesn't realize how hard she's hitting me.

I don't want to get into deeper shit so I do what I do best. Ignore it.

"You shouldn't be here."

"Is that all you can say to me?"

"Look, I'm busy right now. I have to re-watch _The Scissoring_." I'm not only bitter about being nearly killed but failing at trivia on my specialty.

"I'm done. I am DONE." Vega usually doesn't let her temper get the better of her but she looked like she was on the verge of livid.

The sound of the door slamming reverberated through the empty house, amplifying the pounding in my head. Even long after the sound stopped it, it felt never ending. She had done exactly what I wanted. She came back to see how I was. She came back to take care of me. She came back to me. She was being exactly what I needed and wanted but I pushed her away.

What have I done?

* * *

**A/N:** Heyy. I'm back again. There were a few reviews but not as many as usual so I was wondering if the last chapter was a bit disappointing? I hope this one lives more up to your expectations. It's a bit fluffy and a bit angsty. My two favorites. I tried to make this chapter longer, but it ended a bit shorter than the last two. Feedback would be awesome as well. Reviews fuel me to make the fluff more fluffy and the angst more angsty. FEED ME! (Also, the next one will probably be pretty long and might take me a while. I'm excited to see how it'll come out and hope you are too!)


	8. Glitter in the Air

Avoiding Jade turns out to be surprisingly easy. Well, the physical aspect of it. Telling myself to stay away from her was a bit harder. Passing in the hallway is a rare occurrence as she does her part to stay away as well, but sitting through classes is a bit more difficult. She's always been a better actress than I have so she pulls it off like nothing has happened. I have to grit my teeth and smile but I still feel more irritable and I try my best not to snap at anyone. I have to hide my discomfort. Beneath her façade of indifference, Jade begs me with her eyes not to say a word. As her ever-loyal servant, I must oblige.

As we near the winter break, I find myself putting a lot more effort into my school studies. Even though Mason and I have talked about signing a contract with Neutronium Records after I graduate, it's never a bad idea to have a back-up plan. I've always been pretty interested in science so if the entertainment business doesn't work out, I have something else I can go into.

I study daily for the SATs on top of writing my own songs. My song writing is nothing compared to what Andre can spew out but it's a work in progress. Jade's actually a pretty good songwriter as well. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise since she's a sensational playwright and remarkable musician so putting the two together would only be natural for her. The song she used for the Platinum Music Awards was breathtaking. It was an honor to be chosen over that performance.

I constantly wonder what Jade is doing. She didn't seem too keen on taking the SATs nor did she seem fond of the idea of college in general so I worry about her from time to time. She's talented, unbelievably so, there is no doubt about it. I know she'll make it out there in the entertainment world but she needs to start somewhere. Even if she doesn't go into writing, she has so many other options. Performing, acting, directing, her skill list is almost endless.

I drop my head on my desk when I realize I'm thinking about her again. I've done this so many times that a semi-permanent red spot is starting to form in the middle of my forehead.

* * *

Despite the fact that Beck continuously slept with other girls and has been for longer than I could remember, I still felt terrible for kissing Jade. It wasn't just the kissing but the flirting and genuinely having feelings for her made it feel exponentially worse. It was the fact that I wanted more than I know she'll ever be willing to give me. It made me feel that I was worse than him.

For all I knew, Beck did love Jade whole-heartedly and didn't care much for the other girls. Maybe it was just a physical thing that he thought Jade didn't care about. But me, I was doing something a friend should never do; I was going behind his back and trying to get Jade to feel the same way about me as I felt about her. Essentially, I was trying to steal his girlfriend. On top of that, I was betraying her trust in me as her friend by wanting more than what she was offering.

And sometimes, I felt like I was succeeding.

But after our first two kisses, I didn't feel like I had to hold back as much. I would casually touch her as I pleased. I would hold her in my arms, I would kiss her head, I was stay the night curled up against her, I would tease her, and I would even steal a kiss here and there. The strange thing about it all was that she would always let me. She never pulled away, she never complained, and, without fail, she always kissed me back. I had set some boundaries for my self and only allowed myself to do such bold activities once in a while. It was only when we were completely alone, but every time we did, was more than I could've imagined. Even once in a blue moon, she would initiate a kiss. Although my heart would race and I would have butterflies in my stomach, I knew that these were her worst days. I knew she would usually only did so when she felt that I was being distant or she was having a hard time with Beck. Sometimes when she would fight with her dad, she's curl into me, kissing at my neck needing me as an anchor. It was form of a physical reassurance that I was there for her. And I always was.

"Jade," I mumbled out between kisses and pushed her away to the best of my abilities. "What's wrong?"

She was being more aggressive than usual. We would occasionally have a make-out session but we never got overly physical about it. My mind had to fight against my body to question her strange behavior. The feeling of her nails dragging down my ribs and along my stomach left me craving more, but I knew there had to be something wrong.

"Jade." I wrapped my fingers around her wrist lightly and removed them from my top, hoping that she couldn't feel my racing heart. "Did you fight with Beck again?"

Jade and Beck's fights have been a bit extreme for the last couple of months, which also added to my guilt. Was I pulling her away from him or was she coming to me because of that? With every visit and every kiss I hoped that they were over and with every visit, I was constantly disappointed. My heart ached and I hated myself for always getting my hopes up.

"Don't mention him." She growled feeling frustrated.

"So I take that as a yes." I moved further away and sat in front of her, giving my attention. I had to force myself to ignore her slight panting and disheveled look. The lingering tingling on my lips urged me to lean back in for more but somehow found a way to resist.

"Ugh, no. It's just that-" Jade started to speak but her sentence got cut off when she turned away from me.

I pushed her hair out of her face gently and leaned closer to her. "What?" I asked in a supporting tone, still trying to control my libido.

"We haven't… _you know_… In a long time. Like, a _really_ long time." Jade explained. I could tell she was trying to sound disconnected to the whole thing, but the slight undertone of need seeped into her voice.

It actually took me a moment to register what she was trying to say.

"Oh." I couldn't help but feel a bit put off by the thought of Jade and Beck doing the nasty, but then a realization hit me. The lingering feeling of her touches hit me at full force. "OH."

I felt my cheeks warm and I turned away so she didn't have to fight the urge to tease me but it was pointless since her face was still buried in a pillow anyway. Jade usually wasn't one to be shy about these kinds of things so I assumed it had to be because of her "frustrations".

I never liked the idea of her sleeping with him. I detested it, actually. With all of the PDA they show at school, it wasn't hard to imagine his hands wandering her voluptuous curves as he nipped at her neck. How her hands would tug at his shirt as his crept under hers. My mind was a cruel enemy and I could picture it vividly. To get rid of these images, I told myself that that they never touched each other and that on the nights that she stayed at his place, they would just play board games or something. But, tonight curiosity got the better of me and I had to ask. "How long is 'long'?"

"I don't know, a couple months? I don't exactly keep track." Her voice sounded a bit bitter as she answered.

I quickly do the math and realized that it was probably around the end of November that they had last done the deed. It was still an unpleasant thought but that was longer ago than I would've expected. It must've been around the time when she stopped staying at his place because of the cricket incident. The same time that she started spending more time at my house. The same time that I stole a kiss from her. The same time she took me on a date.

"Is he, still, you know…" I inquired about his special weekend 'friends.' Her head snapped up and she glared something fierce at me.

"What do you think?!" She asked brusquely.

"Hey, okay. I'm sorry. I don't know. Like, what changed then?"

"Neither of us ever seem to be in the mood at the same time." She groaned. "A lot of the times he's too tired or I'm over here. Just bad timing."

It was a Saturday so I didn't have to ask why she was here with me trying to get her hand up my shirt and not with him trying to get in his pants.

My hands fiddled with the hem of blouse, not wanting to come off too strong. "Jade, don't you think it's time to break up with him?" I asked timidly. I had brought the idea up to her several times before but she had always just brushed it off as a joke.

"And then what? If we broke up, my chances of getting any would be nil." She laughed almost sourly.

"I don't know. It's not all about sex, right? And I mean, you could just find someone else."

"Really? Halfway through senior year? I'm not going to get attached to more people."

I hadn't felt that small in a long time. I had learned not to take anything Jade said to me too personally, but this one hit me hard. I was just someone she planned to throw away after high school. I was someone she could lean on now but when push came to shove, she'd just shove me away.

"Whatever, Jade. You're not happy with him anymore; you're just torturing yourself." I don't want to sound resentful but there was no hiding my jealously. She must've had known how I felt about her. I move to get away, not being able to handle the ache in my chest any longer.

"Just, forget about it, okay?" She refused to let me get too far and tugged my arm until I fell into her body. She held me against her chest and stroked my hair, taking a few minutes to calm me down.

The room stayed quiet. We were both too busy in our own thoughts to express them out loud.

"I don't like you spending so much time with him." Her voice pulled me out of my daze. I had almost drifted into a light slumber with my head resting against her steady heartbeat. Jade liked to keep the room cold so we'd often just huddle under the comforter and talk.

"What are you talking about? I'm always with you." My voice was quiet and gentle and drowsiness filled every word. I turned my body to so I could face her a bit and my finger traced her tattoo on her forearm. I always found myself doing so when we were close like this. I'm terribly fascinated by how it moves with her skin and that it's a part of her. I brought her arm to my lips and kissed it softly.

"When you guys kept going to the Gorilla Club without me, even though I'm the one that brought it up. You should've invited me." She cleared up, referring to the last couple of days Beck had helped me with my auditions.

I was speechless for a moment but I moved back to tracing her skin and admiring the ink. I wasn't sure if she was worried about me or just jealous. She should've known that I wouldn't have done anything with him but Jade tended to be a green-eyed monster in both a literal and figurative sense.

"I- I didn't think you'd want to go. You don't generally hang out with me when our other friends are involved." I defended.

"You were with him for like three days straight. He was at your house for hours."

"Jade…" I rest my forehead against hers and calmly look into her eyes. They soften a bit after I held that position for a moment. "We weren't ever alone. Cat was there every day. He didn't do anything. _We_ didn't do anything."

"You're not choosing him over me, are you?" She asked almost innocently. I was taken aback when I realized that she wasn't jealous of Beck spending time with me, but me spending time with Beck. I grinned at her display of possessiveness over me and feel a small swell in my chest.

"I would never." I declared with a gentle smile.

"Promise me." Jade demanded as her arms wrapped around my back and pulled my body close to her. It was as if she were trying to trap me against her. I placed my lips gently on her neck. Her mellow scent was intoxicating and in this position I would do anything she asked.

"I promise." I mumbled against her skin. The small discussion ended there.

It was not even a week later that Jade had given Beck an ultimatum and he didn't take it. That stupid fool left her outside on her own after her heartbreaking countdown and that is how found myself at her place. Jade needed someone and Beck wasn't going to be the one.

"What are you going to do?" I asked and sat down on her bed as Jade paced the room.

"Nothing! He decided. _He_ made the decision!" She professed. Her nervous pacing made me feel like she wasn't thinking this through at all. I didn't want her to end their three yearlong relationship because she was upset. She needed to calm down.

"Come here." I called, tugging her to sit on the floor front of the bed and started to massage the top of her head. It generally soothed her and I could only hope it would work this time as well. "Are you sure that's what you want?" I asked again.

"No." She admitted after a pause and let out a long with a sigh. She closed her eyes as my fingers wove into her hair and I applied slight pressure at her temples. "But this has been going on for too long. It's about time. He finally made a move."

I slid down off the bed and sandwiched myself between it and her. My arms wrapped around her body and pulled her tightly against me.

"I think it's for the best." I added, resting my chin on her shoulder. For a brief moment, I debated if I should tell her that he almost went out to get her but I ultimately decided against it. I didn't want it to waver her decision. She was finally within my reach.

According to TheSlap, they were officially broken up within 24 hours. I tried to give Jade some time and space to let her clear her mind but when she didn't stop by the following Saturday, I ended up back at her house.

"I figured you'd come." Jade laughed a bit as she spoke. A towel was draped around her shoulders and she was drying her hair. She must've just gotten out of the shower because water droplets still clung to her body and were falling off her hair.

"And why is that?" I took the listener's seat and spoke so she could hear me over the blow dryer. Her flannel shirt hung off of her body loosely and I wondered if she always wore it that way. Most of the buttons were undone and the only three that were secured were to make sure her bust didn't fly out. Also, her shorts seemed abnormally short. Maybe it was because the fact that I never really had the guts to look at her after she changed, or maybe, just maybe, she was just being a tease. Either way, she was offering a view and now I was allowed to take it in.

"Because you missed me." She turned to me and gave me a teasing wink.

I rolled my eyes at her. Even if she was right, she didn't have to know it. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever, Miss Queen of the Universe."

"So you think I'm a queen." She misconstrued my words with a knowing smile. Once she was done drying and brushing out her hair, she threw her wet towel at me and moved back to the room. "I knew you thought highly of me, but a queen. Wow." She raised both her hands to the sky and looked at me expectantly. "Bow to your mistress."

"You wish." I said with a laugh. I rolled my eyes and wrapped my arms around her waist. I rest my head on her shoulder and pulled her closer. "Are you okay?" My voice wouldn't get any louder than a whisper.

Jade's body went rigid for a second and I was afraid she was going to push me away. To my surprise, she just pulled me closer. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

It hurt to hear those words. "I'm always worrying about you."

We pulled away a bit but our arms stayed touching. "You're too good for him, you know?" I recited the classic, get-over-your-ex, best friend line but I had never meant it more.

"Yeah, right. Sure." She said with a scoff.

"I'm being serious. He never listens to you. You deserve someone who will be there for you, who won't cheat on you. Someone who understands you." I pushed her hair out of her face lightly and kissed her cheek softly. "Someone who cares about you."

Jade was quiet for a moment as she took in my words. I was afraid I had said too much until she moved to look me in the eyes. Her gentle gaze felt made it feel like my insides were melting and my heart started to race. "You mean someone like you?"

The light hum of the air conditioner was the only thing I could hear besides the blood pumping through my ears. My pulse echoed at a deafening volume.

"Someone like me." I unconsciously repeated.

I can't remember when but before I knew it I was kissing her. My lips journeyed down to her neck to satisfy the need to feel her pulse under my lips; I had never felt so alive before.

My hands slipped under her half open shirt roaming her fresh skin, only to feel encouraged when her hands mirrored mine. Never letting our lips part for more than a few seconds, I slowly walked her backwards to the edge of the bed as my clumsy fingers undid the lowest button.

"Are you okay?" I asked. Jade seemed a bit distracted, her eyes wouldn't look anywhere but straight ahead.

"I'm more than okay." She said with a small smile and her distraught expression quickly melted away. She cupped my hands in her own and kissed my knuckles before she undid the next button on her shirt for me.

To say that I was nervous was a very generous understatement. I had never done anything like this before, let alone with a girl. Going any further with Jade would be passing the point of no return. I had never been so right in my life.

"A-Are you sure?" I asked with only one more button until her shirt would reveal its treasures to me. My I couldn't mask my nervousness no matter how hard I tried. My voice waivered and my hands were clammy.

"I'm positive." She held my face in her hands ever so gently. "Are you?" All apprehension dissipated when my eyes met with hers.

"Don't be scared." She whispered into my ear and led my hands to undo the final button. I nodded and despite her words, I was still a bit on edge. I took a few moments even after the buttoned had been undone before I could bring myself to look down. Jade was patient with me. She didn't rush me and let me take things at my own pace.

Her creamy skin almost glowed in the light. My hands trailed along her stomach, slowly making my way higher. Flawless. There was no other word that I could think that described her body better. I leaned down to capture her lips as my hands settled beneath her bust. My hands shyly worked their way around her full chest and she let out a heavy breath when they finally mounted her mounds. The weight of them in my hands was a completely new sensation and I gave them a small squeeze. I couldn't help but smile when she let out another thick gasp against my lips.

I laid her back down onto the bed as I hovered over her slightly. My kisses started to trail lower and her breathing started to pick up.

"Shit…" Jade let the word leak from her lips when my thumb brushed over her nipple. I felt it harden after only the slightest of touches and my other hand mimicked its partner. Her squirming urged me to keep going.

Slowly, confidence started to wash over to me and then everything just felt right, natural. I felt the urgent need to cover her skin with my lips and so I kissed my way across her chest from shoulder to shoulder. My fingers started to roll her pink buds while my mouth was distracted by her prominent collarbone. Only after a small mark was visible I allowed my lips to travel lower and lower.

I sat up for a moment, taking in this side of Jade. Her usually bright eyes were heavy and cloudy and her usual loud and commanding demeanor was uncharacteristically submissive. She had given me full control of the situation and I wanted to make the most of it.

Curious to why I had stopped, she sat up and looked a bit lost. She gave me an apologetic smile and looked for her shirt, trying to cover up.

"You're gorgeous." I couldn't help but admit after a pause. Her actions immediately halted and her only movements were her chest rising and falling gently, beckoning me back to her.

As I leaned closer, her hands found her way under my shirt. They were bold in contrast my timid touches and they carelessly unhooked my bra. Slipping under the bra straps, she pulled both my bra and shirt off over my head in one fluid motion and tossed it to the ground. Her gaze became fiery as she took in my body and a chill spread through my body from my head to my toes when I felt her warm lips encompassing my nipple. I let out a small cry in surprise but my hands instinctively weaved their way through her dark, silky tresses. I massaged at her scalp as her tongue flicked back and forth.

"Jade…" I whined. I could barely think about anything while she had me like this. I gave a sharp tug of her hair when I felt her teeth scrape over my hard nipple and I forced myself to yank my body away. I didn't know someone could have such an effect on me. I felt helpless in her control and I was getting worked up way too quickly. I didn't want that. This wasn't about me. It was about her. I wanted this to be all about her.

I laid her back down and, learning from her example, moved my mouth over her nipple. Carefully, I grazed my teeth over the taut bud while my forefinger and thumb rolled the other. Her leg reflexively came up between mine and I moaned against her skin when she started it moving it under me. It was torture. Sweet, sweet torture.

The heat from our bodies made the whole room feel almost unbearably warm. I could feel Jade's skin heating up as I let my hands drag along her whole body. Her body arched into my hands, desperately needing to be touched. My hands slid down her body, making sure to touch every inch of skin I could, only stopping when I got to the hem of her little boxer shorts. I fiddled with the hem and noticed a small feather on her skin peaking out beneath the band. I traced it with my finger and pulled it down waist a bit to expose the whole thing. It had a simplistic design but was nothing less beautiful.

I kissed the permanent ink and she lifted her torso off the bed a bit, her hips wanting to follow my lips. It wasn't until she settled back down that her toes unclenched themselves. I started to lower the hem down her waist but stopped before I got too far.

I glanced up at her, asking for permission. Jade was gnawing at her lip and nodded quickly. I couldn't help but oblige my queen.

Jade was bare in front of me and it was a glorious sight. The look in her eyes called me to her like a moth to a flame. She looked hungry and I wondered if my look of want was as apparent on my face as it was on hers and without any hesitation, my lips quickly moved back to her. My hands took the liberty to explore her newly exposed skin and thighs, basking in the warmth radiating off of her. Finally, I settled between her legs and pulled away as both my hands massaged at her thighs. She squirmed into my touch when I brushed her lower lips gently. Occasionally she would force herself to pull away and let out a deep breath.

"Damn it, Tori, you have to _touch_ me. You can't just tease." She grit her teeth and groaned when I wasn't moving quickly enough for her.

I let out a nervous laugh, "You have to excuse me. I'm not as experienced as you might think I am."

"It's really not rocket science, you know. You have one, too. They both work the sam-" Her voice was cut off when I decided I had enough of her berating. I dipped in to her folds, coating my finger with her juices and rubbed against her clit quickly.

"Happy?" I asked. I couldn't help but smirk and moved back against her neck. Her fists gripped the sheets tightly and I got no other response. I stopped what I was doing and looked down at her for a second. "I guess if it's not doing anything for you, I should stop."

"Don't you dare fucking stop." Her eyes snapped open and she glared at me.

"Calm down," I kissed her lips and started to put pressure back on her clit. She was too distracted to kiss me back, but by the intoxicating sounds of her moans, I could safely assume she was enjoying herself. "I was just kidding."

I pulled her bottom lip between my teeth and sucked on it before giving it a small tug. Her breathing got heavier and she started to grip at my back. It wasn't long until it got to the point where she couldn't keep her hips down on the bed, I knew she needed something more. I moved my middle finger to trace her entrance calmly, trying to keep the pace slow. I was almost taken aback when I heard a whimper escape her lips.

Jade West was whimpering under my touch.

What a wonderful sound it was. Hearing such noises being emitted from her gave me such a powerful feeling, and it was somewhat endearing. She was letting me have this immense control over her and her body. She was giving herself up to me and I had never felt so honored.

"Please," That was the first time I had ever heard her say that word; her voice almost sounded like a whine. "I need you to-"

She didn't finish her sentence, nor did she have to. Knowing what she wanted, I pushed my finger into her slowly. Warmth coated my finger and I let out a content hum.

"Shit." She called out, her hands trying to steady her by gripping on to my back. I took a few moments to let the both of us adjust to the sensation and I waited for her to relax so her walls weren't so tightly clamped on to me. I pulled out slowly and pushed back in, falling into a slow rhythm. With each pump her grip tightened and her nails were no doubtingly leaving small crescents in my skin.

My hand moved in and out with her hips and once she started to get closer to the edge. She would let out small, almost inaudible grunts every time I filled her to the base of my finger. When her breaths morphed into small whines, I decided to align another finger to push in as well. Both slide in and out with ease and I took her nipple in my mouth to suck on it. I let my tongue roll around over her skin and my thumb rubbed against her clit as I pumped in and out of her.

"Tori- Tori. Don't stop." She managed to get out between short pants, her voice deep and trembling, full of lust, want, and need. I had never heard my named muttered so erotically before. I wanted more of it.

"Say it again." I moaned against her skin as I picked up my pace. The slickness of her made a delicious sound with every thrust. Every grunt, moan, and sound that she emitted fueled my actions. I was power hungry and I wanted more. "Say my name again."

I could tell she was trying to comprehend what I was saying and doing her best to keep her breathing regular so I wasn't surprised when she couldn't say it for a few short moments. That only made me more determined to hear it again. I curled my fingers up slightly, trying to hit her sweet spot with every pump.

"T-T-Tori." Her breathing was choppy and matched my thrusts. "AH. There. Right there. Faster!"

The sweet sound of her constant pants and occasional whimpers were music to my ears, a soundtrack that I could listen to on repeat and never tired of it. Her breaths against my warm skin only made every touch more sensual, leaving me craving for more. Our bodies bobbing in sync with each other was a like a new dance, a dance I wanted to be an expert in, with Jade as my partner.

Jade's hips arched off the bed completely, not able to stay down any longer. It's only when I heard her muffled cry and felt her body go from rigid to completely limp that I moved my kisses up towards her lips. Her skin was slightly salty with the faint traces of sweat and I couldn't resist dragging my tongue along her skin here and there. Patiently, I waited for her breathing to calm and when her muscles stopped gripping at my fingers, I slowly retracted them and I wiped them on my shorts.

I rolled off of her but stayed close and pulled her bare figure into my body. I covered our form with the large comforter and my hands rubbed small circles on her back as her slowed breaths fell against my skin. Minutes passed by silently and she fell asleep just like that.

Her entire form pressed fully against mine. I was on a temporary high as I held Jade so close to me. The smell of sex in the air and the warmth of her body against mine was an atmosphere I got quickly addicted to. I didn't want the night to end. I was afraid of what tomorrow would bring, fearing nothing would be better than tonight. But by the time morning was nearing, I just closed my eyes and had to trust that everything will be all right.

* * *

Days go by slowly without her. Unbearably, tortuously so. She plagues my thoughts constantly and I have to do everything I can to keep busy. Exercising, singing, playing piano, writing, reading, studying. Just about anything I can think of so I'm not idle. I hang around with Andre when I can but I find myself spending most of my free time with Cat. She was always more of Jade's friend than mine but she's the only one that understands what's going on right now and can sympathize with me. The spirited girl has given up her Sunday just to distract from my inevitable thoughts. Of course I added the promise of all-you-can-eat ice cream to sweeten the deal, but still, I'm grateful.

"I thought you and Jade were doing well. Why did you set her up with Beck again?" Cat asked innocently; she wasn't always good at doing her job of avoiding the topic. I am not in the mood to be hounded by questions of the temperamental girl. I have enough to deal with without having others question me.

"Cat, not right now." I quickly respond and pretend to be busy on my computer. An old document is open and I pretend to be focused on it. As long as my screen looks boring, Cat won't be interested.

"But, I mean. You guys are good together. It's was actually cute-"

"Cat!" I cut her off sharply. She's really a sweetheart but she can't quite take a hint. "That's enough. Please."

"I mean, Jade seems so relaxed around you. And when you guys are fighting, it's not really fighting-"

"Jade doesn't want to be with me, okay?" I state firmly. "She rather be with Beck and that's that." I have told myself over and over in my head, but it sounds so pathetic when I say it out loud. She chose her lousy, cheating ex-boyfriend over me. Sometimes I wonder why I ever thought I stood a chance; she clearly only has eyes for Canadian slimebags.

"But-"

"Just drop it. Please." I try to sound calm so I wouldn't frighten the little girl. She's as delicate as a child and sometimes I forget that she's not.

"She cares about you a lot, you know." Cat's voice whispers out from behind the pillow she's clutching to her chest.

I pause for a moment, stunned at her statement. "What do you mean, Cat?"

I turn away from my computer and roll my chair over to my bed, closer to her. "What do you mean? Did she say something to you?" I try my best to hide the desperation in my voice but I'm sure I'm failing as hard as Robbie failed sex-ed.

I yank the pillow from her arms and toss it to the side. Cat looks at me with wide eyes and tries to retreat now that I've taken away her shield. Her lips are sealed and she seems determined to stay quiet. I'm sure it's not easy being a mediator between the two of us but Cat somehow manages to stay sane. Maybe because she's already a little loony that she can handle the chaos, but whatever it was, she seems to make it work.

"Cat! What did Jade say?!"

"Nothing!" She whimpers and hides behind my blankets as best she can. She peeked her eyes out over the material and gazed at me on alert. "She didn't say anything. But, Tori, I can tell. It's so obvious."

The redhead has a strange sense of what is obvious. She can be fooled into thinking that Dr. Pepper can cure cancer but she's considers reading Jade's emotions a walk in the park?

Dejectedly, I give a sigh of defeat. "Cat, your blind assumption isn't good enough. She doesn't want me to bother her. She doesn't want me and I'm tired of being the only fighting. It's over, alright?"

She didn't say another word.

* * *

**A/N**: So, the rating as changed. No one initially seemed against it so I hope I didn't lose any followers. Writing that wasn't nearly as exciting as I thought it would be. It seems to be a bit lackluster so I'm sorry if I disappointed you. If it was really bad, tell me know so I don't add any more later in the story. Hope you enjoyed it. I've combed through this several times but I'm getting so sick of it, I can't bring myself to read it anymore so please excuse any of my typos or awkward sentences. Maybe next time I'll try to find a beta. Thanks to all of you who left reviews on my last chapter. I'm trying to get back to all of those I can. Guest reviews are nice too, but I can respond, sorry. :/

Comment/review please. Let me know what's up and what you want to see, what you liked, and what was complete rubbish. Cheers. (I don't know why I turned British there, just… ignore it.)

Oh yeah, some people have said that this story is confusing. By this chapter, I hoped you figured out the format, if not, check out chapter one. I'll be adding a little note of how the flow is going.


	9. Let Her Go

Being around Tori has become exhausting. She's just inches away from cracking and I can feel it. Every sad look she throws my way puts me on edge. She's holding my secret and she can reveal it at any second. I plead to her with my eyes, silently begging for her not to say a word. And she never does.

I was terrified the first couple of days. I know that she's hurt and upset and if our positions were reversed, I wouldn't have done her any favors. I wouldn't have held back like she had and I would've taken any chance I could to completely humiliate her in front of the whole school.

But Tori isn't like that. Tori doesn't destroy people just because she can; she doesn't hold things against them for long; she gets hurt but won't lash out like I would. She's sweet. She's good. She's everything that I'm not and nothing that I am and I hate her for it. It would be so easy to hate her if she was a gank about it, but she's not. That's not her.

I know she's hurting. Even though Tori acts happy around our friends, whenever her eyes meet mine she'll fall quiet. She can't hold my gaze for more than a few seconds and will quickly turn away, acting as if nothing had happened. In those few seconds, I see how despondent she is. The brief flash of wordless emotions crashes down on me hard.

Honestly, I had never found Tori to be a phenomenal actress before. She was an accomplished singer and a breathtaking performer but her acting was a bit subpar. It threw me off completely when she switches from dejected to her normal peppy self within a matter of seconds. She has everybody fooled.

Maybe she's even fooling me.

Is she that good at hiding her pain or was she really completely fine with things how they are? Have I pushed her too far this time?

* * *

It wasn't unusual to wake up next to Tori but the lack of clothes was definitely something new. Her arm was draped over my waist and even the slightest movement caused her to pull me closer. It took a lot of effort to slip out of her hold without waking her, but once I was freed I quickly placed a pillow in my stead. I took a moment to watch admiringly as her body instantly curled around it and she burrowed her face into the silky cover.

I grabbed my shirt and threw it on unceremoniously, slipping into my underwear as well. I pick up Tori's top and bra and drape it over the side of my chair before heading down to make a cup of coffee.

Technically, I live with my father, but there are perks of him being a complete wazzbag. He was never home and didn't give a tiny rat's ass about what I did. Ever. The last time I had saw him was over a week ago when he stopped by between France and Hong Kong for business. Every time was the exact same routine. He would stop by to make sure his daughter was fed and watered, then would leave two days later with a few bills placed on the tabletop to keep me busy. Luckily, he also has never had a complaint when I racked up his credit card bill. Sure, it wasn't your typical father-daughter relationship but it wasn't entirely bad. In fact, I was lucky in a sense. I had never had to worry about other teenaged things like when Beck would stay the night. The odds were that he would never find out about Tori either.

Tori. Oh man, Victoria Vega. Her timid touches the previous night were so completely foreign to me. She took her time with every graze, kiss, and look, taking everything in and making sure I enjoyed every torturous second of it. From previous encounters, I had always thought that sex was a fast, careless act. In and out. Things were completely different than when I was with Beck. He was the complete opposite. He had never taken the time to just touch me so softly and once he was done, I had to be done; it was more of a race. But with Tori, she didn't even let me touch her, purely focusing on just me.

"Hey," I jolted a bit in my seat when I heard a familiar voice call me. I must've been running on autopilot because I was already sitting at the counter with my mug in hand. Tori's designated cup was also in front of the seat next to me.

The tanned girl had thrown one of my shirts on and it was haphazardly buttoned. It didn't do a very good job at hiding her whole chest but I was starting to think I liked it that way. Her hair was a mess and stuck out at odd angles from out of a sloppy ponytail, wavier than usual. She was ridiculously sexy, in a lazy way.

"'Morning." I answered after taking a moment to snap out of my thoughts, handing her her mug as well.

Delicate, soft, and now familiar hands brushed against mine for a moment as she took the cup from me and placed a small kiss on my cheek. My eyes instinctively closed and I took in a deep breath before she pulled away, trying to bask in her close presence as long as possible.

A brief silence settled between us, the only sounds were an occasional loud sip from the other girl.

"How did you sleep?" I finally spoke up, realizing that she probably wouldn't say anything until I did.

"Like a log." She said with a small laugh, turning in the swivel chair to face me. Her smile is deathly contagious and I have to fight against myself not to let one completely overtake my face.

"Well, you snore like a lawnmower." I quickly fired back, somewhat playfully.

"I do not!" She nearly dropped her cup with her loud exclamation, the milky brew spewing over the top slightly. I cocked an eyebrow at her seriously for a few moments before letting out a small smile accompanied by a chuckle.

"Nah, you don't. But you were knocked out pretty cold."

I could feel her curious eyes follow me around as I got up to get a paper towel. They watched as I wiped up the spilt beverage and they followed me back to the trashcan. It was a bit unnerving but I knew why they were following me. They were waiting for an opportunity, any small gesture to let her know it was okay to talk about last night.

I did my best not to give it to her. The ten minutes before she came down wasn't enough time for me to process how I felt and I didn't know what everything that happened last night meant. I needed more time to figure things out. If what had happened was just a quick screw or just another step in our ever-changing "relationship." With her gentle peck this morning, I felt it was safe to assume that it meant more than just a friendly gesture for her.

I knew that the words were just on the tip of her tongue, her face morphing as she was in deep thought.

"Jade." I nearly cringed internally at her overly soft voice.

"What time do you need to be home by?" I quickly asked, changing the subject. I turned away to walk to the sink and quickly glanced at the clock. It was just past 11 so the day was still young. I would have to do a lot of stalling to get through the day without this "talk."

"Jade." Tori called out to me again, completely ignoring my question. I could hear the chair sliding out from under the table as she got up to walk toward me. My chest started pounding and I didn't know how to handle the situation. I jolted slightly when her arm touched mine softly.

"Relax," she told me in her soothing voice. "It's just me."

I nearly laughed but managed to keep it down. There is no such thing as "just Tori" anymore.

Thin arms wrap around my waist from behind and she leaned against my back. Her gentle hands covered my arms as she rested her chin on my shoulder, waiting for me calm down.

"Are you okay?" Her voice floated around the hollow kitchen, echoing in my ears. I knew she was only trying to be supportive but it only made me feel more pressured not to let her down. The only thing that I had sorted out was that I didn't want to hurt her.

"We shouldn't complicate things." I finally spoke up, turning around in her hold. My hand cupped her face and my thumb stroked her cheek softly. "Can we just, let it be?"

A swift look of hurt flashed in her eyes, just for a fleeting second; if I wasn't expecting it I'm sure I would've missed it.

"Yeah, yeah. Right. Sure, of course." Her over agreement told me clearly how much she disagreed with my decision but she plastered a smile on her face and moved to get away from my touch.

"No." I quickly caught hold of her wrist before she could completely slip away. "Don't pull away from me." My brain went into overdrive, trying to figure out how to explain the crazed thoughts that were overheating my mind. My eyes darted back and forth across her face as if they were physically looking for the words to say. "I just meant, we don't need put a label on anything. Just-"

She saved me from sounding like a bumbling idiot when she nodded her head in understanding. Still a bit apprehensive, she leaned into an awkward hug.

"Relax. It's just me." I repeated her words to her with mirth. "Things don't have to change from before."

Things did change, though. Drastically.

Our playful teasing and harassment could no longer been seen by each other as anything other than blatant flirting. Our friends had even stopped telling us to lay off and just got used to the whole routine. First base was not a rare occurrence and our kisses were hardly ever chaste. On top of that, we were no longer bounded to the safety of her house. My house, my car, the janitor's closet, the bathroom, empty hallways, and the like had all become fair game. There were no limitations anymore. If the two of us were alone, there was a 98.7% chance that I was touching her or vise versa.

"Jade, you have to cut it out." Tori's voice was filled with laughter after I tugged her out of the noisy hallway and into the janitor's closet. My lips in a smile instantly found her neck and placed feather light kisses along her sharp collarbone. I failed to pepper her neck when I couldn't stop grinning.

"You enjoy it." I whispered into her ear as I trapped her between the wall and my body, my hands taking the liberty to slip under the hem of her shirt. The noise from outside thinning out as everyone made their way to 6th period.

"Jade!" She half whined and half tried to sound serious but I didn't buy it for a second. Her laugh made her voice crack a bit and I pecked her lips.

"_Tori_," I called back in her Sweet Sally Peaches voice. With a roll of her eyes, she gave in and kissed me back.

The small banter of our lips continued back and forth until it turned out into a small make-out session. My hand no longer rested innocently on her stomach but started to creep up to cup her through her bra. As per usual, once we settled against each other's bodies her hands went straight to bury themselves in my hair.

"Jade, seriously." Her voice was quivering and I let out a muffled moan. There was a small thump when she threw her head back and tapped the wall behind her. I covered her mouth with my lips as my hand gave a sharp squeeze, swallowing any sounds she made to the best of my abilities.

"Please, like you're not enjoying this." I grinned against her lips. My teeth boldly take her bottom lip and give a nip earning me a strong tug at my hair. Taking my cue, I slipped my hand under the cup of her bra. I couldn't stop smiling at the frustrated grunt she gave once my fingers traced her areola.

"Hi, hi!" My head snapped to the side when I heard the high-pitched voice coming through the opening door. I yanked away as quickly as possible, leaving Tori's shirt hitched halfway up her body and her bra askew.

"Are we having a siesta in here?" Cat's ear piercing voice sounded extra shrill at the moment.

"I think you mean fiesta." Vega mindlessly corrected her, still a bit out of breath and her voice deep with lust.

I barely had time to get my bearings when Cat's eyes started to suspiciously dart between the two of us.

"Cat!" I called out loudly, trying to get the redhead to look at me instead of the Spanish-speaking expert. Tori's perky left breast was still not yet covered by her bra and was attracting too much attention. I wiped my lip, trying to fix my lipstick as much as possible while Tori straightened up her clothes.

"What are you doing here, Cat?" I asked, my voice loud and demanding.

"I thought I heard your voices and when I heard your names, I knew it had to be you guys!" She answered innocently and excitedly. Her smile slowly faded as she looked closer at me. "Ew. Jade, why are you wearing two shades of lipstick? And what's wrong with your hair?"

I glared at her harshly and quickly tried to flatten the tousled strands. God, I loved it when Tori would pull at my hair with pure want and need but it always made me look like a complete disaster. I worked quickly and got my tresses under control but that didn't stop Cat's small observations. My head snapped up as soon as I heard her loud gasp.

"NO!" She exclaimed in disbelief, looking so confused as her head swung back and forth between us. Soon, her finger joined her eyes as she pointed between the two of us. "You guys?!"

My eyes went wide, surprised that she was able to put it all together and so quickly too. "Cat, wait. No!" Panic washed over my body and I couldn't think of any way out of this mess. Cat started tossing back and forth, trying to get Tori and me in her sights at the same time so she can read our faces. With her constant movement, she dropped her bag and books.

"It's a game!" Tori blurted out. I could tell by the small quiver in her voice that she was just as panicked as I was but lost in her little freak-out, Cat didn't catch on.

"W-What?" Cat's breathing was still deep in panic mode but she started to calm down from her little attack. At least she stopped fidgeting.

"Yeah, Uh," I raise an eyebrow at the Latino, "totally. We're playing a game."

I honestly had no idea where she was trying to take this so I hoped it wasn't as dumb as it sounded.

"Yeah!" Tori finally found confidence in her voice as she thought of an idea. "Every time we're alone and Jade says my name, I have to kiss her. And, every time she says mine … " her voice trailed off, leaving the end of the sentence empty so she could fill in the blank.

"She kisses you!" Tori gave a proud-mama smile to Cat's answer.

"Right, Jade?" Tori asked and looked at me with her chest metaphorically (and still slightly literally) out high. It took me a while to catch on, not believing that this conversation was actually happening.

"Right." My voice was loud and clear and I grinned a toothy smile back at her. Her faced dropped in terror as took a step closer. I grabbed her chin and tilted her face up so she would look at me.

"What are you doing?" She whispered to me in an alarmed voice, her eyes almost budging out of their sockets.

"You said my name." I grinned cheekily as my lips touched hers.

Tori was beyond terrified to kiss me in front of Cat and her body was as stiff as a board. I tried my best to coax her lips to move against mine but it was useless. I was eventually forced to resign and take a step back.

"I wanna play!" Cat's voice wiped the smirk off of my face completely.

"What? No, wait. Cat, you -" Tori tried to object but at the sound of her name, Cat lunged forward to place a wet one on her lips, successfully cutting the other girl off. It was short and sweet and over before I fully understood what was going on.

"Good one, Tori." I rolled my eyes and let out an exasperated sigh.

"You said her name," she looked at me excitedly and swiftly turned to face Tori with a small bounce. "She said your name!"

Cat jumped up and down excitedly in her spot with a wide, amused smile. She trying to look at the both of at the same time, her hair whipped back and forth. She apparently enjoyed watching this game as much as she did playing it. "You have to kiss her now!"

Tori's lips rose in a small smile and she gently leaned into me. "See, this isn't all that bad, is it?" She whispered softly against my lips.

"I love this game!" Cat squealed with excitement as she reverted back to her bouncy self after witnessing the small kiss. "Don't you, Tori?"

Tori rolled her eyes and pecked the energetic girl on the lips, complying with our new game's rules. The two of them seemed to find this little act funny and entertaining. I wanted to leave.

"Jadeee?" Cat asked in a singsong voice. The smaller girl's eyes looked at me expectantly and I shook my head.

"No. No way. Absolutely not." I looked to Tori, wordlessly begging her to get me out of it.

"She said your name." She smiled at me with a nonchalant shrug. I took memo to get her back for getting me into this predicament.

"One kiss. Just one. And, if you ever, I mean _ever_ say my name again, I'll make sure you won't have any lips to kiss with." I threatened through gritted teeth.

I had planned for the kiss to be a small peck on her lips, but after watching the exchanges between Tori and me, she must've thought it was unfair. Her tongue brushed my lip and I pushed her away harshly.

"Cat!" I asserted, trying to get her to stop. She tried to kiss me again but I grabbed her ear so she couldn't bring her lips to mine.

"Jade!" Tori's voice came, chiding me.

"Vega." I growled back at her.

"Tori!" Cat cried for help as she tried to scramble away, wanting sanctuary.

"Cat, come here." Tori responded, pulling her close. Cat leaned up to peck her lips, still not giving up on the game.

"VALENTINE." I growled, warning her not to kiss the other girl. Cat happily and absentmindedly had the nerve to try to kiss me again.

"NO." I howled loudly and put her at arms length. "GO TO CLASS." I bark out loudly even though all three of us are more than 10 minutes late by now.

Cat shrank into herself and hid behind Tori. I rolled my eyes and just left the two of them there in that room.

Tori and I had successfully gone through the whole week without getting caught, I should've assumed that someone would've noticed eventually. We were lucky that it was just Cat, though. If it had been anyone else, it would've been a much bigger mess to deal with. Sweet, naïve little kitty Cat was happy with the absurd little excuse that Tori had thought up right on the spot. Although, I did have to watch her kiss the lips I had numerously claimed as mine a number of times _and_ had to have her lips placed on mine. I guess that was the price I had to pay.

I had thought it was a great plan at first to stay under the radar. Cat understood that it was a "secret game" and that we only played when we were alone, but I still had to watch her kiss Tori before school, between classes, after school, and even doing rehearsals. Tori and I hardly got any time alone in the closet after that as well. Always eager to play our little "game," Cat was attached at Tori's side most of the day.

"TORI!" Cat jumped up and down as the two of us walked down the hallway from math. Tori was waiting next to my locker for her ride and since I had to promised to give Cat a ride home as well, we both had to wait for her to get out of tutoring. The three of us had been spending an unbearable amount of time alone together. It was slowly eating me alive.

"Mother freaking skunk bag." I narrowed my gaze at Cat as she pecked Tori's lips with a smile. I swear each kiss lingered longer and longer. I got a small sympathetic sigh from Tori when she glanced my way. When we were at school, Cat's lips were on hers a lot more often than mine were and it was starting to wazz me off.

"Cat, no more." I declared in a no bullshit manner, finally getting sick of this stupid charade. Cat being Cat of course, laughed and kissed me.

"ENOUGH." I pushed her harshly away.

Tori's forehead scrunched up and looked at me in fear. She was terrified that I was going to let the cat out of the bag, so to speak.

"Cat, leave Jade alone." She cooed to the tiny girl and opened her arms to her. Just as the other girl's bold red lips were about to land on Tori's once again, I yanked her back by her collar.

"I said that's enough." I snapped. I instantly cooled when I turned to face Tori. I couldn't tear my eyes away of her terrified ones and I pushed Cat slightly to the side. I didn't fight the urge to feel her lips on mine any longer. I closed my eyes and leaned into her.

Apprehensive at first, Tori's lips were motionless but once my hand moved up to cup her cheek she gave in.

Our eyes fluttered closed and there was peace for a few seconds. After the innocent kiss, there was an eerie silence that no one wanted to break.

"It's not a game." Tori finally admitted with an exasperated sigh. She was the first to speak up, shattering the awkward atmosphere and turned to face Cat. When I was finally freed from my stupor, I shook my head a bit and took a step back.

"You're not allowed to kiss her anymore." I proclaimed, turning to Cat but staying in position between the two girls. Cat's look of confusion was plain to see on her face.

"But why do you get to kiss her?" She asked boldly.

Tori looked sideways at me and gave me a weak smile. It was a question that neither of us could answer. The question that we had put off for the last two and half weeks and left in the corner, hoping it would shrivel up and die with time.

"Don't ask stupid questions" was the best answer I could think of. I didn't want to have to discuss this topic at all, let alone in front of the other girl.

"Cat," Tori's melodic voice was so soothing, trying to confront the girl in a comforting approach. Completely contrary to myself, she knew how to deal with people on an emotional and sympathetic level. "Jade is just special, okay?"

I hated how sweet Tori sounded, as if she were talking to a child. I knew it had to be done though. We had to approach her delicately if we didn't want her to freak out.

"Are you guys, like, dating?" She asked genuinely curious with not a trace of distaste in her voice, much to my surprise.

"It's not like that." I spat out quickly. Judging by Tori's reaction, it was much too quickly for her liking. "Look, you're just not allowed to kiss her anymore, got it?" I stated firmly. "Or me."

"And please, don't tell anyone?" Tori's voice was soft and gentle in stark comparison to mine. I always feel like a brute whenever we're together.

"'Kay 'kay…" Cat's voice trailed off dejectedly. "Can I still get a ride home?"

"Of course." Tori answered in my stead with a smile and a hug. I must've had a lapse of sanity because as I stomped out of the building, I grabbed Vega's hand in mine. Without resistance or a single complaint, she followed dutifully and intertwined our fingers, giving my hand a small squeeze. I couldn't help but grin to myself.

Once at the car, I opened the passenger's door first, letting Tori in while Cat compliantly and wordlessly jumped into the back. She must've been a bit shell-shocked because she was silent the whole way to her house, only to mumble a meek "bye" when she jumped out.

"Jade." Tori's voice finally broke the silence when we pulled up into her driveway. "Can we talk?"

I couldn't believe I actually thought that things could've just gone on exactly how they were before Cat found out. Things were so quintessential then. I hadn't been that carefree since before I could remember and now I have to deal with all this bullshit.

"It's either in my house or here in the car." She spoke up when I gave no response. With a loud grumble, I killed the engine and hopped out. I stayed a few steps behind the uncharacteristically somber girl and clenched my fists. My fingers ached to be between hers again.

"Were you jealous?" She asked quietly, shutting the door behind us and leaning against it. I looked around the familiar house and, surprise surprise, no one was home.

"What are you talking about?" I asked incredulously with a snarl.

"Cut the bullshit, Jade." She answered sharply but without malice. I was slightly taken aback by her word choice. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. With Cat. Were you jealous?"

Her eyes looked at me expectantly. I'm not sure which answer she was expecting, but I knew I wasn't leaving until I gave her one.

"What do you think?" I asked, deadpanned. I couldn't help but narrow my eyes at her. I hated how unconcerned she seemed as she just leaned up against the door. This isn't how we work. I'm the apathetic one and she's the one that squirms under my gaze.

"Why?" She asked, still not moving from her position.

"What?" I shot back. What the hell kind of question is that?

"Why were you jealous?"

I gave her an are-you-seriously-asking-me-this-ridiculous-question look. "She was kissing you…?"

"And why does that bother you?"

"You've got to be kidding me." I scoffed and pushed my hair back out of my face. I wanted to make my way out of the door and suddenly understood why she hasn't moved from her spot. "I don't have time for this." I tried to push my way back outside but she was relentless.

"Jade, what does it matter to you about whom I kiss?" She asked. This girl really wasn't going to let this go.

"You can't just go around kissing random people, alright?" I snapped, viciously. If she wanted answers, she had to be prepared for them.

"Jade," Tori tried to calm me, taking my hand in hers. I yanked it as hard as I could out of her grasp but she held on tightly. She placed a gentle kiss on the bridge of my knuckles as if I didn't just blow up in her face. "I won't kiss other people."

"What?" I asked nonplussed. I must've heard wrong because there is no way she would just listen to my demands.

"I said, I won't kiss anyone but you." She clarified.

"But," she continued. I let out a loud and over exaggerated groan. I knew there had to be a catch. "Do we still have to keep everything a secret?"

"Things are fine the way they were, why do we have to change it?" I argued.

"Clearly they weren't." She shook her head at me. "If we just told our friends, we wouldn't have to deal with another fiasco like we did with Cat."

"Things don't have change." My voice comes out firmly.

"I want things to change."

"Things aren't going to change." I protested.

"Things are going to change." She challenged back.

"Why?!"

"Because I want more than this!"

Tori's voice cracked and she looked at me with wide eyes. The expression on her face told me that she hadn't planned on revealing that last bit of information. "Jade, I don't just want to be your secret…"

I'm stunned, not able to find the words to respond.

"Jade?" Her gentle voice waivered as she called out to me. Her hand reached over and took mine in hers. "It won't be that bad, I promise."

I snapped out of my thoughts by the idea of our friends' reactions, of Beck's reaction, of the school's reaction.

"No." I state, making sure that my voice and conviction are crystal clear. "It's this or nothing."

I left no room for argument. Tori looked at me sadly and, to my surprise, shook her head.

"You should probably go." She said as she took a step away from the door. She didn't move far, making the decision to leave or stay that much harder.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, I stepped away. "I'll see you at school."

* * *

I look around the Asphalt Café, looking for our friends. Vega is sitting at our usual table but it's missing the other four members.

"Where is everyone?" I ask, dropping my tray down on the table, earning a small gasp of surprise.

"Andre is working on a song and Cat and Robbie said they had a mission. Where's Beck?" She answered, not glancing at me once.

"He said that he needed to talk to Lane about something for his college applications." I answer sourly. I already regretted my decision to sit down.

Silence engulfs the two of us and even the noise from the tables around us doesn't seem to reach our table. I can't bring myself to eat and even Vega stopped halfway through her salad.

"You know what, I'll just go." I shuffle to my feet, throwing my bag back over my shoulder.

"No, don't be ridiculous." Her voice stops me in my tracks and she finally has the courage to look up. "It's fine. We're completely fine."

My bag slides back off my shoulder and onto the chair and I follow it back into my seat. I pick up my fork and knife and unenthusiastically start to cut my pizza into bite-sized pieces. I take my time with each bite but Vega doesn't start eating again. She pushes the plate out in front of her and drops the utensils on her leftovers.

"How are you and Beck?" She finally voices when I get halfway through my pizza. Of course she wanted to bring him up.

"The make up sex was great." I half snort out at her, wanting to rile her up.

It was a white lie. I haven't touched Beck since we got back together and I'm sure as hell not going to let him touch me. He'll have to do something hell of a lot more impressive than ask me out if he ever wants to get that physical again.

I watch as Tori grits her teeth. Her face becomes rigid and her knuckles white as she tries to keep calm.

"I had almost forgotten what it was like." I lie through my teeth with a half-smile.

I push. I don't even know why, but I push and I push, trying to get her to react.

"Yeah?" She asks, her eyes now boring into mine. Strong and chilling, she locks her gaze on me.

"Did you get wet at the sound of his voice?" Her questions come at me slow and intimidating. "Did you cry his name as you came? Did he enjoy your whines when it felt so good it hurt?"

A flash of surprise gets quickly masked as I try to keep a calm composure. I didn't think she would be bold enough to say anything in response. She usually just took the punches and never fought back.

A quiet moment surrounds us. I need to shut her down. She has to back off of this already.

"More than you can ever imagine." I smirk with a wink.

The final straw that breaks the camel's back, Tori whips her head so swiftly that her hair swings over her shoulder. Grabbing her bag in one hand and her tray in the other, she stormed away. I knew that I wouldn't be seeing her soon.

"Your place. Now." I storm towards Beck's locker, completely frustrated. He looks at me confused but follows my lead with zero resistance. The drive is quick and before I know it, I'm pinned up against the aluminum door of his trailer.

His grip is too harsh. I struggle to loosen my wrists from his grasp as his lips dominantly cover mine.

His face is too rough. I do my best to ignore the stubble that brushes against my lips causing a rash.

His hands are too demanding. I wince when he squeezes my breast sharply without any notice.

His body is too brawny. I feel no warmth or comfort as he presses his whole body against mine.

He's moving too fast. I close my eyes as he fumbles with his pants; it hasn't even been five minutes since we arrived.

I close my eyes and I can see her. I imagine the light, friendly kisses we shared at school. Her laughs as I nibble at her neck. Her bright smiles when she sees me. I hadn't noticed how dim school has become or how cold the night seems to be. I didn't notice how happy we were.

Oh, god. I love her. I love her and I let her go.

I hear the light breathing of Beck as he dozes next to me. The ceiling is completely dark and my heart feels empty again. The years it took to build something with Tori had disappeared in an instant.

I see her when I close my eyes.

* * *

**A/N:** LOOK IT'S AN UPDATE! Love me? Love me now? Yeah you do! Come on, give Courtney a squeeze!

Anywayssss, well, I'm terribly sorry for the late update. We got a lot of support from the last chapter with 11 reviews and a couple more followers! [And yes, I say "we" because "we're all in this together duh, duh… lyrics I don't know…" No, but seriously. I only continue this because of your support and I feel like we're all enjoying the ride at the same time. As lame as that sounds.] I messaged most of you back but I want to say thanks to the guests that reviewed as well. You guys are the best.

Also, I tried cleaning up the other chapters. I tried to fill it out a bit more, but it's nothing major. You don't have to read it again, but you can if you want. :3

I hope Tori didn't throw you off at the end. I didn't want to make her a pushover that just let Jade do as she pleased since she's not really like that. I wanted to show her pain and anger and I wanted to have her fight back. I really hope it didn't seem OOC.

Let's try to get more reviews for this chapter! Tell me what you liked, what you hated, how you felt about it, anything you want to say. Thanks for the love!


	10. The Cave

I rush out of bed, not having time to grab breakfast. Recently I've been oversleeping and I always feel tired. I feel like Jade, running on purely coffee. It seriously might be the only thing that keeps me going these days. School drags on slowly, class after class and I've been starting to lose focus. I know it's the last couple of months before graduation and I need to keep my grades up, but I'm having a hard time concentrating lately.

"Tori, why aren't you eating?" Cat asks as she takes the seat next to me at the empty table. I had nearly fallen asleep before she made her appearance. My fork hasn't moved from the side of my plate and the layer of oil on my lasagna seems to have hardened over making it look like a plastic replica.

"I'm not hungry." I look at the dish in disgust and pushed it away. I rub my temples trying to get the sleep out but it's to no avail.

"Here, have some of my ravioli." The redhead happily offers with her fork already situated near my mouth. I shake my head in protest but offer a polite smile.

"No thanks, Cat. I'm not really feeling it right now." My eyes are heavy and I feel myself start to nod off again.

"Tori? Are you okay?" I hear her high-pitched voice and a small cool hand touches my forehead.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just haven't been sleeping well recently." I shake my head to get the ideas of slumber out and Cat retracts her hand.

"Because of Jade?" Blunt as ever, the topic is out in the open again. It seemed whenever I was with Cat, the topic of Jade would inevitably come up. I give the girl a small look, deciding if I should lie or not but ultimately deciding against it. She already knows the blunt of it so it wouldn't hurt anyone, really.

"Yeah, I guess. I just- I regret getting Jade and Beck together. I mean, she rubs it in my face at any chance she gets. I was so sure that I could at least be somewhat happy if I thought she was, but I was wrong. Oh boy how I was wrong." I shrug my shoulders, trying to appear nonchalant about the matter. I knew I wasn't fooling anyone.

Cat opened her mouth to speak but promptly closed it. I guess even the perky redhead had nothing to say that could make me feel better. I feel arms wrap around my body and I unconsciously stiffen. I peek my eye open and see that the smaller girl as wrapped her body around mine with not a care in the world with who sees.

Once I get sight of the little sweetheart, I relax and shift to pull her into my arms. She rests her head against my chest and I can't suppress a grin that overwhelms me when I see her angelic smile. She's so sweet and pure. With her innocence, it's like she doesn't have a care in the world.

I stroke her hair calmly, finding comfort in someone that has been there for me over the years. She knows how to make me smile and how to lift me up when I feel down. She had always picked up the pieces of me that Jade had left shattered on the floor and has not once left my side. Cat was truly the best friend I could ask for.

And then she kissed me.

I was completely immersed in the quiet embrace but I was suddenly yanked out of that tranquility when I felt her plump lips on mine. The small, chaste kiss threw me off.

"Cat, I told you we're not playing that game anymore." I give her a comforting smile as I stroke her synthetically red hair, hoping that this would be the last time I had to explain it to her. It had taken her weeks to finally get the idea of game out of her head and I was curious to why she wanted to start playing again.

"I know. I just wanted to kiss you, is that weird?" She asks, leaning in to peck my lips again. Through the corner of my eye, I see a few students giving us a couple of side glances, curious to why were positioned like this.

"Yeah, just a little. Friends don't just kiss friends." I rest my forehead against hers and smiled with mirth. I wanted to show her that I wasn't upset but that she can't just start kissing me randomly.

"So, what if we weren't just friends?" Her voice rings genuinely but I can't tell if she was being serious or her normal, aloof self.

"Excuse me?" I half laugh out and put a little distance between our faces. The shuffling of feet is heard as the crowd around us is starting to thin out now that the tardy bell has rung. "Look, Cat, we gotta go to class, we'll talk-"

"If we more than just friends, I would be able to kiss you whenever I wanted, right? It wouldn't matter who saw, right?" Cat asked inquisitively, albeit somewhat shyly.

"Well, yeah, I guess. But we're not…?" I tilt my head to the side, slightly bemused. Where was all of this coming from?

Cat ignores my flimsy argument and smiles at me brightly. She places a small kiss on my lips and throws me into a fierce hug and whispers into my ear, "I don't want to be just your friend anymore."

* * *

Rolling out of bed, I let out a loud groan. Running into Jade at school was inevitable but pretending that nothing was bothering me was getting increasingly harder. I missed her. I truly missed her.

"Oh, crap!" I jolted awake. It was Thursday which meant that the next day was Friday which meant that Cat's and my science project was due in about 30 hours.

I quickly scrambled for my phone and yanked it off its charger. "Dammit!" I grumbled under my breath when she didn't answer. I quickly picked out my clothes for the day, my phone never leaving my ear. I hung up and called again, hung up and called again, and hung up and called again. I eventually started to leave messages, with a total of about, oh say, 15 or so. At that point, I had thought that my day couldn't get any worse.

Of course, I was wrong.

"Well, at least we had fun?" Cat's voice wavered a bit as we sat in my living room, finally able to change into warm clothes after the short road trip. The spontaneous, hectic joy ride was more than just an adventure; it was a huge test of our tolerance as a trio. Jade seemed to be exceptionally on edge, snapping at everything I said and the fact that Cat's brother was unreliable didn't help our situation at all. It was definitely the last time I want to do something like that for a while.

Fat Santa, our unwilling partner in this little science project, was doing his best to keep the mini robot in motion but I decided to grab the small rodent and pass it to redhead. I was trying to distract Cat from the inevitable conversation I knew that was soon to come.

"At least we finished this project," I took a glace at the wall clock. I leaned back against the couch and let out a sigh of relief, "and with only three hours to spare."

"You and Jade make a cute couple." Cat blurted, seemingly out of nowhere.

I snapped up in my spot and gave her an incredulous look. "What are you talking about?"

My wide-eyed look gave rise to a lighthearted chuckle at my expense. "I'm just saying, the way you guys are around each other, it's fun. You guys fight but it's so... playful." Her carefree smile on her face and light voice caused me to smile as well. "You guys pretend to be annoyed, but I know you both enjoy it."

I bask in the compliment for a moment before I speak up.

"It's not like that." I sighed and threw my head back to rest on the couch. Cramming at the end of the night to get our science project to work had been a good distraction from the overly grouchy, sexy, mean goth but Cat had to bring it back to her.

"Don't lie to me. I get it now. The reason why Jade didn't want anyone else kissing you, the looks you always throw her, her need to always be in your business." She let out a small laugh, "I don't know how no one has realized anything sooner." Cat sounded so sure of herself. She was so happy in the small delusion of the two of us. She was as delusional as I was.

"It's really not like that, Cat." I swallowed hard with a forced smile. "She doesn't want anything to do with me."

"You're just over thinking things. I'm sure she's playing hard to get." A light bump came from my left.

I rolled my eyes to look at her dejectedly and let out a heavy breath. This was definitely not something I wanted any one to know but I could tell that she was not going to let it go. "She told me. I asked her out and she told me she didn't want anything. There is nothing there, Cat."

Little Red must've decided that this conversation was going to be more serious than she initially thought and put Fat Santa back in his cage. She was quiet for a few moments before she pulled me into her side. It was a weird feeling to be comforted by the usually aloof girl but it was nice. "Cat, she doesn't want me…"

"Tori, I'm sure there is a reason…" She whispered into my hair as she held me against her chest. It seemed like I wasn't the only one that wanted to believe in the fallacy that had became us.

"Is there something wrong with me?" I tried to sound bitter, but it came out a bit pathetic. "I only attract the assholes."

"There is nothing wrong with you. She'd be crazy if she didn't see how awesome you are." She pulled me closer. I don't think I had seen Cat this serious before. Her voice sounded so genuine and absolute. I wanted to believe her so badly. "Jade-" she started, trying to explain. "Jade's not an asshole. She's just complicated."

I knew that they've been best friends since elementary school and that Cat should know her better than anyone else. There had to be a good reason that the genial girl always stuck around her, right?

Cat placed a gentle kiss at my temple. The small warm gesture helped me relax as we sat there. I closed my eyes as I leaned against the comforting girl.

I hadn't realized when I had fallen asleep but I woke up in the same awkward position. She smaller girl had a protective arm over me as Fat Santa ran excitedly in his wheel, awaiting breakfast.

"Morning." She whined out with a yawn, pulling me closer for one last squeeze before letting me go.

"Is it okay that you stayed the night?" I asked, stretching in my spot before pulling away.

"It's fine. I told Nonna that I would be here late and my brother probably didn't even notice."

Cat watched me attentively as I walked away. She still hasn't adorned her usual bubbliness or giddiness yet and it was a little unsettling.

"Something wrong?" I asked, trying to calm my frizzing hair, bemused by her smile.

All I got in response was a gentle smile and a shake of her head. I didn't know what to make of her strange behavior so I just shrugged it off. Cat was always a bit unpredictable.

As if the night hadn't been crazy enough, we had to go to school on just a few hours of sleep and Fat Santa was too tired from the crazy night to run for our display so we were forced to stay after class to discuss extra credit. _On top of that_, a few periods later, I was assigned to be Jade's husband. That was really the topping to this absolute joyfest-sundae.

Yes. I was assigned to be Jade's husband. Her _husband_. How did that even make any sense? This school would be the death of me.

That wasn't the first time Sikowitz, the psycho out of his wits, had assigned the two girls with the most hostile relationship to play husband and wife, but it was the first time he made us do it in front of a large audience. And another thing was, Jade now hated me. That made things vastly more difficult.

"Jade, you have to at least pretend to like me." I chased after her down the halls as she tried to make a speedy escape to her car. Our first rehearsal was a complete and utter failure.

"Not even the greatest actress in the world could pull that off, Vega." She ignored my attempts to keep up and continued out the front doors. She was still a bit bitter at me for dismissing her from my house but she was acting like she was the only one affected.

Her comment had stung right where it hurt but I needed to approach this professionally. "So you're not a good enough actress?"

Jade quickly snapped around to look at me, surprising me and causing me to take a step back. I knew that provoking her would get her attention.

"Let's get this straight, _Vega_. Just because I'll be pretending to be nice to you during the play, doesn't mean I like you. Don't take it out of context. I'm not obligated to anything outside of it."

Yet, nothing seemed to improve over the next few run-throughs and Sikowitz finally had to put his foot down. Condemning us to go on a date would normally made me laugh, but at that point in time I was just reminded of my first and last date with the spiteful girl four months prior.

After our five-hour punishment was established and the balding man left, awkwardness settled upon us just like the smell of raw fish. I couldn't even eat in peace without having her snap. Time moved torturously slowly and when we finally started to make progress, we were ambushed by a couple of pretards.

"How do we lose them?" I whispered in her ear when the two boys pushed us together.

I didn't know if she was just ignoring me or I was being ignored because she was trying to block out their shrill voices but I got no response. I nearly jolted out of my seat when I felt her hand wrapping around my waist and pulling me closer.

"Pretend we're together." She whispered in my ear so only I could hear. Her low voice and the soft breaths against my skin sent waves of chills down my spine.

Despite her instructions, she still seemed surprised when I brushed a lock of her hair out of her face. Since the disturbing pair didn't seem to understand that we weren't interested in them, maybe they'd understand if they thought we were interested in each other.

Nope.

Nope, nope, nope. I was blown away how "Chad" refused to stop touching me while the other one literally stroked Jade's face with his finger. Even when we locked our hands together, the annoying pair didn't let up. Finally, we saw an opportunity to rid ourselves of them at the mention of music.

Adrenaline pumped through my body by the time we take our bow after the awe-inspiring performance. My hand gripped Jade's tightly before I pulled her into a huge hug. That was the first time I had ever performed a duet with her and it wasn't even assigned. Our voices blended together perfectly and we knew exactly how to harmonize together, never missing a beat. We took each other's silent cues when to sing the higher or lower octave and found a steady rhythm. I was surprised it could actually be more astounding to sing with her than to listen to her. Despite the day starting off being shitty, the evening seemed to be getting exponentially better.

After we made our way back to our seats, I was surprised to see the boys still there. "You'se guys ain't half bad." The Chad infection stated, being stuck to me worse than an STD.

I felt Jade's hand grip mine tightly. I could tell that she was seconds away from sticking her boot into his face so I quickly took grip of her chin and turned her to face me. I gave her a gently smile before swiftly placing my lips on firmly on hers. Her response was instantaneous.

Incessant hunger overrode my conscious mind and my hand pulled her closer, satisfying the acute need to touch her. I was forced to pull away when I couldn't catch my breath but Jade didn't seem to like that idea, either that or she was literally trying to suffocate me. Every inch I pulled away, she leaned in to make up for it.

"Jade." I had to hold her back by placing my palm on her shoulder. "They're gone." I breathed heavily.

I was still struggling to catch my breath and my gaze lingered on her lips. Her tongue flicked out seductively and I was briefly tempted to lean back in but she beat me to it. Her hands gripped at my waist and I slid off my chair as she pulled me closer. Standing, I hovered over her slightly and leaned into her. I tugged at her hair, completely ignoring the restaurant full of people.

"SINJIN!" I was drawn out of my daze, remembering that there were spies among us.

"What?!" She snapped, clearly upset at the idea that I may have been thinking of the wiry-haired kid while her skillful lips dominated mine.

"No, I mean, Sinjin and Burf. They're here watching us." I started to scan the room, looking for the misfit duo.

Jade suddenly stood up, pushing back me back into the chair in the process. Before I could even catch my balance, I saw her stomping off to the corner of the restaurant. With a sharp point shoved in his face, I take it Sinjin got the hint. Burf watched in terror as Jade made her way to him, only to have her return with a fluff of his hair.

"Jade, you can't go around threatening people with scissors." I shake my head in disagreement. I thought to myself that if we were in an _actual_ relationship, none of this nonsense would have to happen.

"So if I didn't use them, it would be fine?" She asked, as if it were a legitimate question.

"You know what I mean." I rolled my eyes.

"Well, too bad. I can and I will. They won't say anything." She sat back down in her seat, looking through her bag. When she finally found her wallet, she took out a couple of bills and I did the same. "I told them that it was an idea for the play."

My heart smarted. She could've at least acknowledged it as a real kiss if she was going to threaten them anyway.

"I told them that we were thinking of throwing it in as a surprise and if they told anyone, it would ruin everything." She tilted her neck until she heard a satisfactory pop. "That, and a quick threat to shave their heads with my rusty scissors kind of makes me think that they won't say a word."

Her explanation was quick and she stood back on her feet. "You coming?" She asked impatiently.

"We still have 15 minutes." I protested but stood as well.

"They're not even here anymore." She said impatiently before starting to walk away. She didn't care if I was following or not.

I quickly threw my bag over my shoulder and caught up to the raven haired girl, not wanting to miss a free ride home. I would owe Trina my life if I made her pick me up close to midnight, no one is allowed to interfere with her "beauty sleep."

I had nearly managed to get into the car before Jade started pulling out of the parking lot. "We're not talking about it." Jade quickly shut me down before I could even get any words out. She knew me so well.

"Right, it never happened." I nodded and accepted dejectedly.

"I didn't say that. I said we're not going to talk about it."

I shook my head, not even wanting to try to understand whatever she was trying to say. "Why are you taking me to your house?" I asked, trying to drop the subject.

"It's late. I'm tired. You live way too far. Either you stay over or you're calling a cab home."

I started to realize that I would have rather have had to clean Trina's bathroom for a month over being stuck at Jade's. Every second we got further from my house and closer to hers the dilemma thickened. I mentally start calculating how much a taxi would cost and how much cash I had on me, only to be startled by the car alarm.

"Get out of the car, Vega." Jade yelled from the driveway. Deep in my calculations, I hadn't noticed we arrived. Jade crossed her arms over her chest impatiently.

I scrambled out of the blaring car and nearly tripped. "Jade, can I borrow 30 bucks?" I took out my phone and started looking for a taxi service online.

"Nope. Walk home." She stated as she unlocked the front door. She waited a good five seconds before closing it behind her when I didn't immediately didn't follow.

"Jade." I knocked on the door and sighed when she didn't open up. I quickly took out my phone to text her to open up. Walking through L.A. close to midnight was not a good idea, or so we'd learned during The Giant Cupcake Fiasco.

It took her over half an hour to let me in and by then the cold of the night had sunken through to my bones.

"Finally." I exclaimed as I pushed past her and quickly rushed straight to her room. The air conditioner was running, as usual, so her room wasn't much warmer than outside but I ignored it and dove straight under her sheets. I instantly wrapped myself in her warm, fluffy comforter.

Familiarly, I found myself on the ground before I could get comfortable and I was just about to speak up when she cut me off. "Change your clothes first." Jade had a strangely strict policy about wearing street clothes in her bed but I had hoped that she would've let it go just this once.

Defeated, I let out a sigh. Keeping the blanket tightly wrapped around me I moved to her dresser, looking for something comfortable and warm to wear. I quickly took out my favorite flannel that waited patiently at the top of the pile but I had to dig deep in her pants drawer to find something suitable to wear.

By the time I finished changing, Jade was no longer in the room and I quickly curled back into her soft bed.

"Here." I heard her voice. I hadn't noticed her silent footsteps when she returned and slowly peeled my eyes open. I'm surprised to see a warm mug of coffee in her hands and handing it to me timidly.

"I'm tired. I just want to sleep." I kindly refused.

"It's decaf." She stated and forced it into my hold. I didn't even know she owned decaffeinated coffee.

"I didn't see your text." She cleared up as she crawled into the usual space beside me in what I could only image was Jade's most apologetic voice. "I wouldn't have left you out there if I had known."

I wasn't surprised that Jade had left me out there, but I was stunned slightly at her apology. I had thought the whole thing was intentional and that she was pissed at me for wanting to go home, not some misunderstanding.

"It's fine," came my usual response for her antics. With both hands wrapped around the mug, I took a sip of the warm joe. Warmth spread throughout my body and I let out a sigh of relief. I finished about half before I put it down, finally feeling a bit better. Just as I lay down beside her, I felt an arm wrap around my waist, pulling me closer.

"Jade, what are you doing?" My mind cried for my body to move away, but I couldn't move. I even though my heart couldn't take it, the idea of pulling out of her reach was that much more unbearable.

"Nothing." I heard her voice coming from only inches away from my ear. "Just, lie with me." Jade's voice was soft and gentle. It was complete 180 from her disposition at Nozu. It sounded like she was a push away from breaking and I couldn't bring myself to do that to her. I had missed this too much. I had missed her touch and her warmth. I had missed her friendship and her affection. I missed Jade in her entirety.

A soft kiss sent a chill down my spine. Her luscious lips placed small, feather touches along my jawline and I tried my best to ignore them. Eventually, her kisses slowed and her hand found mine. Our fingers intertwined and I gave her hand a small squeeze. Carefully, I brought her hand to my lips and just barely brushed against them. I kept them there and her breathing slowed as she drifted off to sleep. My mind was going haywire as her body was pressed against mine but her steady breaths lulled me into a quick and peaceful slumber.

As the days passed, slowly but surely we fell back into the small friendship we had before she broke up with Beck. I had spent that following Saturday just lounging around her house as we did open mic karaoke, trying to upstage each other and laughing until we collapsed. It was hard to remember that Jade could be so carefree at times, especially with how hostile she had been towards me the last week. As our friendship rekindled, it wasn't a stretch to play an onstage couple anymore. She got through her lines with ease and I didn't have to fake a smile anymore.

"This is going to be easy." I rolled onto my stomach, kicking my legs back and forth with my script in my hands. Jade was back at my place for a last minute, unnecessary run-through to rehearse our lines one last time before the show. We both had everything memorized after the first week but it was always better safe than sorry.

"I'm so darn narcoleptic I can't even tell my own twin sons apart!" I burst out in my faux man-voice.

"It's not your fault, their identical, look-" Jade's sweet housemother-ly voice stopped abruptly. "Who the heck does Sikowitz think he's going to fool with Beck and Andre as twins?" She seamlessly switched back into her regular voice.

I felt the bed shift with the newly added weight, acknowledging that Jade was lying next to me. "Well, he also assigned me as your _husband_. I don't think he was going for realism here." I let out a dry laugh. Even if Jade and I _could_ be something more than friends, no one in their right mind would believe it. Heck, they could just barely believe it when we were acting.

"Oh god, don't even get me started. Your man-voice is terrible."

"Hey!" I rolled to my side and smacked her against her arm in slight offense.

"Oh, please. I could run circles around you." She boastfully smirked.

"Oh yeah? Try it." I dared her, not believing her for a second. I scanned the script for a good place to start and shifted to Nancy's role. "No, no. You were saying I'm so…"

"Oh, right. You're so good, gentle, how could you love a sleepy loser like me?" Jade's voice was ridiculously low and raspy; I was thrown off for a moment.

"You are no sleepy loser, you're an astronaut." I replied in an adoring tone.

Jade didn't take the cue for her next line and tossed the already beat up script to the floor. "I can't believe we have to do this sham of a play. It's so cheesy, too."

"I think it's cute." I rolled over closer to her, using her arm as a makeshift pillow.

"Of course you do, you're Tori."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, a little more than slightly offended.

"You always like- " She cut herself off and I was surprised. She usually never withheld her opinions and I started to feel uneasy.

"Jade?" I rolled to my side and looked at her. My hands idly started to separate her blue highlights from the rest of her hair out of habit.

"You're such a sucker for all those cheesy fake romance chiz. I don't get it, it's like you've never been hurt or let down by how misleading these stories are. There is no such thing as a happily ever after."

Jade's gaze focused on a spot on the ceiling and I wrapped my arm around her waist. I knew with our renewed friendship that she wouldn't mind such a small gesture.

"I've been hurt before." I whispered and pulled her a bit closer as I curled into her. My body laid half on top of hers in attempts to rid any space between us.

I knew she understood that I was referring to her because of the lack of interest she showed. If she hadn't known that she was whom I was referring to, she would not have hesitated to dig deeper. She always wanted the dirt on gossip.

"There is no such thing as unconditional love." She finally spoke. "Not even within family. I can't believe people think they can find happiness through other people."

The mention of family had thrown me off a bit and I started to get curious. I knew that she and her father has a complicated relationship as I had seen it first hand. She would desperately strive for his approval and he seldom gave it out, but it seemed that they both had a mutual respect for each other.

"Jade?" I ask softly, pulling her hand into mine and massaging her palm with both my hands.

"Hm?" She hummed, feeling relaxed. Her eyes closed as she basked in the feeling of my touch. I knew it was already too late to drop the idea but I was terrified to ask the next question.

"Jade, where's your mom?" I finally asked after building up all the courage I had. I held her hand tightly in mine so she couldn't pull away.

We lay in silence for as least a good fifteen minutes. I didn't stop massaging her hand in mine but it was well after midnight and I started to feel sleepy.

"She left." I faintly heard her whisper. I didn't dare ask her to repeat herself even though I wasn't 100% sure I had heard her. "When I was six. She met some producer guy when working on set as a writer and took off.

"We were close when I was little. My father was always at work and we only really had each other, but I guess that that wasn't enough. She sought someone other than me to make her happy and just-" Jade's breath hitched a bit as she took a small pause, "left."

I didn't know how to respond to that. Jade was so brutally honest and I wasn't used to it. "I'm sorry..." I kissed the back of her hand lightly before holding against my cheek.

"Don't be. She didn't love me. She left me here with the man that ignored the both of us and took off."

"I'm here now." I tried to assure her. I knew she couldn't bring herself to believe my words but she didn't have any sarcastic reactions, which I was thankful for.

Overall, the play went surprisingly well. I admit, I almost leaned into her lips after the dreaded "I love you" lines but I managed to turn it into give her a chaste hug instead. We took each other's hands and humbly bowed as genuine smiles plastered across both of our faces.

"It's them, it's them!" Jade's concerned tone of voice snapped me out of my small sense of glee and I turned to see the duo that plagued us at Nozu. "What do we do?" She asked, sounding slightly panicked.

"Run. Run, Nancy!" I quickly advised her.

"Yes, Walter." She took off without a second to spare and grabbed my hand as we made our way off stage.

We had made it all the way to her car parked in the back, still in costume, before we realized how ridiculous we were acting. Panting hard, she took one look at me and let out a hearty laugh. I was bewildered but I couldn't help but start laughing too. We looked absolutely ridiculous with our wigs askew and our costumes mussy. I bent forward, resting my hands on my knees as I tried to catch my breath while simultaneously losing it with each loud laugh.

Shortly after, we both calmed down and our laughter died. A small silence loomed over us, making the crickets sound as loud as an orchestra. I straightened up my suit and finally looked up at her. Jade had a quiet, pensive look on her face and was staring straight at me. I held her gaze as long as I could before I snapped.

It took less than a heartbeat for my body to press her against the car. My lips landing on hers were needy for what I had long missed. It was sloppy and rushed and Jade quickly pulled away. I was about to bolt in complete mortification.

"Take this chizz off." She grumbled. She reached up to my face and yanked the mustache off of my upper lip.

"Owwie!" I recoiled in pain, rubbing the raw skin. I didn't register when she was yanking my wig off because she kept me too distracted by her lips that were hungrily on mine again.

"Your house. Now." I mumbled against against her when I felt her hand undoing the buttons of Walter's blazer and slipping beneath.

It seemed that Jade had no qualms with that idea because she quickly pushed me away and rushed to the driver's side of the car. I let myself in as her hands stumbled in haste to get the engine started.

The ride was completely silent but I rest my hand high on her bare thigh, creeping higher and higher. Smoothing against her skin, my fingertips massaged as I relished in the sensation. I couldn't get enough of it. I couldn't get enough of her.

The heat radiating from her core was beckoning me closer and I fought against all temptation to give in. I was fighting, but losing. I had barely touched the fabric of her panties when she pulled away.

"In the house." She demanded. I hadn't realized how quickly she was driving but I jumped out of the car and followed the raven-haired beauty through the door.

I swiftly threw off the jacket as Jade tugged at my tie. After getting the first couple buttons undone at the neck of my shirt I got impatient and yank it over my head instead. The shirt hadn't even hit the ground when Jade decided to take initiative and pin me against the door. The doorknob dug sharply into my back and I let out a harsh hiss but the pain quickly went unnoticed as she started sucking at my neck. I struggled to release my hand from the sleeve it was caught in and once I was freed I started to tug the purple jumper over her head. Jade didn't seem pleased that she had to pull away, but I had won in the end.

My hands blindly fumbled at the zipper at the back of her one piece and I groaned when I couldn't get it open. "Turn around." I growled in frustration and quickly switch positions with her. She leaned against the door, her hands crossed so her forehead could rest on them. I jerked the zipper down, getting more and more frustrated by the minute. Once freed, my hands immediately roamed her exposed skin from the small of her back up to her bra. I quickly made work of it and unclasped it. My lips trailed from the back of her neck to across her shoulders, cherishing every moment I felt her shuddering at my touch. Our breaths hitched in unison when my hands snuck to her front and seized her ample chest.

My god, I had missed this.

"You've behaved well up until now." I heard her cocky voice laced with lust. I hadn't intended to let my last statement out, but now that it was in the open, I refused to shy away. I took full advantage of the opportunity.

My fingers rolled her nipples, alternating between slow turnings to slight pinching, basking in the feeling of them hardening at my touch. I couldn't resist the urge to let my teeth drag along the length of her back and back up. I was completely overwhelmed by her body writhing under mine. I gave in to temptation and bit the space between her shoulder and neck as I twisted her buds at my fingertips. Jade cried out in pain and exhaled in a shaky breath. My breathing had mimicked hers as I felt a rush of arousal spread throughout my body. I shifted my hands to massage her chest gently, leaving her sensitive peaks alone and peppered the spot my mouth had chosen with light kisses.

"Did that hurt?" I asked knowingly yet guiltily when I had the willpower to speak again. I placed small kisses behind her ear, trying to soothe her.

Jade was still trying to catch her breath and just shook her head in protest. "It's fine."

"Are you sure?"

I heard her take a deep gulp before nodding in agreement. "Felt good."

I couldn't help but smirk to myself, taking her earlobe between my lips and sucking on it. The ends of her wig tickled my face and I gently pulled it off, careful not to yank her hair out.

"You know, blonde kind of suits you." I tossed the synthetic hair to the side and combed my fingers through her long tresses. "But nothing beats your real hair."

Jade let out a heavy sigh when I tugged at her hair hard enough to turn her face to the side. I kissed the line of her jaw, only to turn her around my arms so she was leaning with her back against the door instead. I was undeniably insatiable. My lips instantly found hers and I slipped my tongue in her mouth and explored its depths.

"Take this off." I commanded as I moved away slightly, pulling her open dress down her front. I needed access to her full body. The sleeves turned themselves inside-out as she pulled her arms out. The garment was eventually discarded and her unclasped bra fell straight to the ground.

I took all the time I needed to appreciate her body in full. My chest started to heave as I chewed at my bottom lip to restrain from jumping her.

"How are you so beautiful?" I leaned in to whisper in her ear. I only received a small whimper in response as my hands started exploring what my eyes no longer had access to. They slowly drifted down her curves, absorbing warmth and traced the line of her underwear. Jade was grasping my waist, eagerly awaiting more. I let my finger trace back and forth along the band, slipping beneath the lacy top from time to time as I continued to enjoy the taste of her skin along her neck. I smiled to myself when I find a familiar chain hanging around her neck. She hadn't stopped wearing it.

"What are you waiting for?" She groaned out when I let my teeth graze her collarbone. She was clearly upset at the change of pace.

I looked up at her with a wicked smile and moved to pull her bottom lip between my own. I sucked on it and gave it a sharp bite. The sound of her low groan resonating through the empty house got my blood pumping and I wanted more of it. I wanted to hear her whines, whimpers, moans, and cries. I wanted to hear my name mixed with lust and need.

I let my hand slip down the front of her underwear and she gives a sharp buck when my middle finger just barely touched her clit.

"Shit." Jade mumbled as her hand gripped my waist tightly when I started to move vigorously against the bud. I was amazed at how wet she was already. I guess Jade likes being bottom.

My mouth is hungry for her skin and makes its way down to her full breasts. Her pointy nipples slightly red from the harsh treatment earlier stand at full attention. Starting with a small peck, I lean into her and roll the bud with my tongue. Alternating between long languid licks and sucking, I started to feel Jade's impatience rise as she started bucking against my hand.

As I pulled away to switch to the neglected of the pair, Jade's hands gently rested on my head. I was confused for a moment and looked up finding her head completely thrown to the side. Her cheeks were fully flushed and she was chewing on her lip, expressing her restraint.

I was only allowed to look for a moment when I started to feel pressure pushing me down. Surprise and shock were some of the things that hit me, but nothing compared to the primal desire that overwhelmed my body. She wanted me to go down on her.

As her hands guided me lower and lower, I devoted my full attention to ravishing her body. My tongue trailed down her body, stopping for a brief moment at her belly button. Her stomach rose and fell as I kissed around it and her grip on my head tightened when I dipped my tongue in. I nervously kissed the line of her waist. The smell of her arousal urged me forward yet I was a bit apprehensive.

"Tori-" Jade's voice lowly rumbled from her lips. I could tell she was trying to calm herself down but her heaving chest wouldn't slow. "You don't have to." She finally managed out.

I felt slightly enraged hearing her words. "I know. I don't have to do anything." I growled out. "I want to."

My lips attached to her core and I sucked on her wetness through her thin cotton panties. I gripped her legs as she started to slide down the door and I decided that it had to stop.

"Come here." I licked my lips after I pulled away. The faint traces of musk lingering on my lips gave me a sneak preview of what was to come. I took her by her arm and swiftly pushed her down into the couch.

Jade was disoriented for less than a second and quickly made do with my pants. I didn't realize how constricting they had felt until they were finally off and into a corner of the room to be forgotten. I tugged on her underwear and she lifted her hips off the cushion to assist me.

From my position on the ground, I kissed up her lengthy legs. I couldn't spend too long on her creamy thighs because her enticing scent was driving me crazy. I had to taste her. Wrapping both my arms around her thighs, I pulled her down the seat until she was sitting at the edge of the sofa. The leather groaned under the movement but those sounds didn't register. It was only when I heard her deep moans rumbling from her throat that my ears were truly paying attention.

My tongue darted out to lick Jade's pink lower lips and I was surprised by the taste. It was sweet with a slight tang. I didn't know what I was expecting but at the slightest taste, I was instantly addicted. My tongue slipped between her inner lips as I dragged it up and down, gathering as much of Jade as I possibly could. Her lithe body was bucking underneath me as she held my head to her center. Her hand gripping my hair made me wince but I couldn't pull away, even for the slightest moment. I moaned against her as I felt her body desperately trying to replenish what I had taken and I greedily took all that she had to offer. My hand joined in on the fun when my tongue was focused on the bundle of sensitive nerves that sat on top.

"Slow down." She whined as her hips were bucking off the couch to match my ravenous need.

Maybe I would've listened but I couldn't hear anything over the pounding of my ears. My concentration could not be broken as I aligned a second finger that slid into her with ease. The third followed shortly.

"Say it." I demanded after pulling away from my feast. I licked my lips and I could feel her wetness covering the lower half of my face. I curiously bit her thigh as I waited for what I wanted to hear. The sharp whine that leaked through her lips was a satisfactory response.

"W-What?" Jade was trying to pay attention but my influence over her body was too distracting.

"What I want to hear. Say it." I nibble at her skin, refusing to reattach my lips until it's said.

"What are you talking about?" She whined and bucked her hips when my hand stopped moving.

I decided to play with her a bit instead. My middle finger curled up within her as pressed hard against her wall, looking for the spot that I knew would drive her crazy.

"Tor-" She whimpered as her hips almost knock my face.

"Exactly." I grinned as I continued to tease the sensitive spot.

"Tori, please. Oh my god."

My fingers quickly went back into action at the magic word and my lips shortly followed. I probably wouldn't have kept away too long because I was already craving her taste.

"Don't stop. Tori, don't stop."

With my unwavering loyalty, I followed her command. The sloshing next to my ear blended beautifully with the sounds of her heavy breaths. The slurping was a perfect compliment to her whines.

My body arched up as I got into a more comfortable position. Jade's constant bucking had to be stopped for my to keep my mouth in place so I held her hips down with my free hand. In the brief moment I pulled away to readjust my position, I got a glimpse of what pure, unadulterated sensuality looked like.

Jade's head was tossed to the side, her hair clinging to her damp neck. Her ample chest would rise and fall with her exaggerated breaths. While one hand was still on my head, the other was gripping at the chair with her nails scratching the once pristine leather. Jade's lustful eyes looked at me, begging for more with her pupils completely dilated.

I couldn't keep away for long as I returned in to position. I was rewarded with a glottal moan when my teeth graze her overly sensitive clit. It didn't take long to find our rhythm once again and I didn't need to ask her to say my name as it became her new mantra.

"Tori, yes!" She cried as she finally released. Her whole body shook momentarily as she tried to calm down, finally letting go of her grip on my hair. In attempts to let her ride her climax as long as possible, I let my fingers move in and out of her slowly. Jade's whole being was lax on the sofa, trying to regain any energy and her full chest bobbed up and down with her deep breaths. My marks littered her skin from the bite on her thigh and the hickey forming at her neck to the redness surrounding her nipples and her swollen lips. Each was an indication that she was mine. My lips and body completely claimed hers in this beautiful work of art.

She was absolutely stunning.

It was only when she finally pulled my hand out of her and placed them in her mouth that I snapped back to reality. I let out a heavy moan when her tongue weaved between my fingers and I moved to settle on her lap. Straddling her waist, my core rest firmly against her abdomen.

I slowly removed my fingers from between her lips and rest both of my arms on either side of her head on the couch. I leaned down, resting my forehead on hers and stared into her eyes. The orbs are heavy with exhaustion but are no less hypnotizing than usual. I would always get completely lost in them. Looking through the windows into her soul, I could see trust and comfort reflected in them. I was drawn to her even more.

Her eyes fluttered shut and I followed her lead. Both of our bodies were spent. I rest my weight fully against her and I allowed my lips to slowly and gently touch down to hers as a warm gesture.

"I love you." The words flowed out of my mouth naturally.

I felt her body tense and her eyes shot open. Everything warm and comforting from seconds ago was replaced with anger, fear, and hostility. I instantly knew that I had said the wrong thing.

* * *

"That was unexpected." I throw a giant block of cheese to the ground as we wrap up the small scene for _Divertisimo_. Being chased around a stage by two child-sized mice was not the original idea I had for my Friday night, but whenever I'm with Jade, I never know what will come next.

"I can't believe you got me into that." The granky goth tosses her cheese next to mine in the pile. The two of us and Trina search through the changing room in our yellow cheese patterned dresses to look for our actual clothes so we could change and go home.

"Excuse me, you're the one that made me go on first." Once I find what I'm looking for, I turn my back to the other girl and start to change. "Why did you even come to my house in the first place? Watching drag racing with Beck could _not_ have possibly been worse than that."

"Beck and I slept together." Jade declared bluntly out of nowhere. Trina must have been equally as repulsed by the idea as I was because she quickly left the room with loud grunt of disgust.

My jaw tightens as I take a deep breath and I calm myself. "Jesus, Jade. I know that. You don't have to remind me every time you see me, alright? I get it."

Jade raises an eyebrow at me, looking confused and quickly waves it off. "Oh, no. The other day I was lying. I hadn't slept with him yet, but I did that night."

I try to take calming breaths to keep my cool. I tell myself not to get mad at the idea that she slept with him. I tell myself not to get mad at the fact she just told me. I tell myself not to get mad at the fact that she lied to me.

"And why did you feel the need to share this information with me now?" I ask through gritted teeth. I hurriedly yank up my jeans and quickly look for my jacket so I can get out of here as soon as possible. I swear to god if Trina leaves me here with Jade I'm going to kill her.

"Because it wasn't you." Her voice comes out after a pause. I turn around and see that she's already dressed, holding my jacket out to me.

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?" I throw my arms up in the air, about to snap. "So, is that it? You just wanted to rub it in my face? Rub salt in the wounds?" I snatch my garment from her viciously.

"No, you don't understand." Jade grabs my arm as I pull away and stands between the exit and me. I quickly yank my arm back and cross my arms at my chest.

"So, explain it to me, Jade. Enlighten me already so we can just get this over with. I'm tired of playing games with you." My jaw sets as I grind my teeth, moments away from an emotional meltdown. This has to be the longest week in history.

"Tori, you have to know what I'm trying to say. Stop playing dumb."

"No, Jade. I have absolutely no idea what you're trying to say. When I thought you cared for me, you left me. When I thought we could be something, you rejected me. Now that you're telling me you slept with your boyfriend, what am I supposed to think? I'm pretty sure that no one can figure you out anymore. Just tell me already."

I want to say the words I know will hurt her the most, but I bite them back. I don't want to deal with this drama right now and I'm pretty sure Trina is going to leave if I don't hurry up.

My mind is reeling when she pulls me into a kiss. Her lips move against mine but I refuse to give into her. Too many times, she has done this to me before. Too many times, I have fallen for her false show of affection. She keeps calling me back like a siren and I always obey. I won't give in any longer. I need freedom.

"Jade, I need to go." I pull out of her grasp, trying to run out the door before my ride leaves.

"Be with me." I faintly hear her hushed voice. "Tori, be with me." She repeats louder this time.

"Jade, you don't know what you want. I need to go before Trina leaves without me." I start to panic a bit at the situation and finally pry my hand from her grasp.

"No, you're supposed to say yes. What's going on here?" Jade's eyes look frightened as I take a step further from her.

I pause in my spot. Jade has been and always will be my weakness. I turn around to face her, trying to comfort her with my gaze. "Jade, you're a little confused right now. You're with Beck. I think you need some time to think about what you want before you go around asking other people out."

I fight against every fiber in my being to pull her into a hug and take one last glance before I run off to find my ride. My heart clenches and it burns but I need to find strength in this pain. I have to change my ways from now on. I feel like a coward but I just can't handle her right now.

"TORI!" I hear a voice echoing down the studio halls.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I start to have a mini panic attack as I see an all too familiar figure sprinting towards me with a carefree smile. I admit, my face automatically turns up when I see Cat's luminous smile, but with Jade here, I really don't want to see the bubbly red head right now.

"Cat! What are you doing here? How'd you even get here?" I ask as she jumps into my arms. I can only hope Jade didn't hear her loud yells.

"My brother dropped me off! I saw the picture Jade posted of you on TheSlap wearing cheese and I just had to come! Where is it?" Cat looks confusedly at my normal clothes.

"Cat, that was over an hour ago, we're all going home now." I raise an eyebrow. She knows Jade is here but she still had the balls to show up. She's a daring one, that's for sure.

"Phooey." Cat pouts and crosses her arms over her chest. "Did you guys eat it _all_? I really wanted to try it. Was it good?"

"It wasn't edible…?" I look at her skeptically.

"Wait, what? Then why were those little mice children chasing you around with a fork?" She's clearly confused but I have no logical explanation.

"I don't know, Cat. I really don't know…" I shake my head. Nothing about today seemed to make sense. "Look, Cat. I need to find Trina. She's my ride home."

"Oh! I just saw her! She almost hit me with her car when I was walking here."

"She left me?!" I groan. I don't think I can ask Jade to take me home after our last conversation.

"Jadey!" Cat calls over my shoulder and I can feel the piercing green eyes boring into my back.

"Cat, what are you doing here?" She catches the overexcited girl as she flies into her arms. "What's with you? Why are you so… happy?"

I quickly intervene and slap my hand over her mouth before she could say something irreversible. "She was just excited to try the cheese suits. I just told her they were costumes though so we're about to go home."

"Need a ride?" The raven-haired girl offers with a tilt of her head. She really must be trying hard to prove something because the old Jade normally would've ignored me for weeks if I had left her like how I did.

"Perfect!" Cat exclaims excitedly.

Cat jumps in the passenger's seat, excited to be with Jade. I guess their friendship is stronger than I had imagined and just crawl into the back. It's actually pretty adorable how the two opposites get along so well. They're both tolerant of each other's shortcomings and compliment each other in a strange sort of way.

I had assumed that Jade would drop me off first since my house was closer and Cat was in the front, but it was to my horror when I noticed we were heading towards Cat's house instead. The sugar-high passenger didn't seem to notice or care and waved goodbye after exiting the car. I reluctantly got out of the backseat to move to the front when the bouncy girl came running back.

"It was nice seeing you." She whispered in my ear after enveloping me in a hug. I barely have time to respond when she pecks my lips quickly before running back up her driveway. She waves at the two of us at the car and disappears into the house. I'm frozen stiff with my butt leaning against the door. I know Jade is going to want to know what that was all about and I just don't know how I'm going to explain it.

* * *

**A/N:** The present time has caught up to the end of the show so that timeline will no longer revolve around any episodes. Yay! Less research to do for me! I can adjust the story to however I want now as well with no restraints.

I want to apologize for the length of this chapter. It ended up being just fewer than 10,000 words (amazing considering the original version of my first chapter was around 1,200…). I didn't know where to cut it, and as I had said before, with the structure of this story, I couldn't just save some parts for the next chapter if I want the story to progress. The length also makes it a huge chore to proofread so I'm sorry for any of the typos, spellings, and awkward sentences because I give up. I've been working on this all weekend and I'm a bit sleep deprived. I'm totally screwed tomorrow for work but you guys come first!

I also want to apologize for the slight wait. I'm a binge doer, if that makes any sense… I like to do things in excessive amounts for short periods of time. That includes: eating, drinking, watching movies/TV, running, reading, and writing. So while I was on a roll with writing for a while, I took this week off to read four books. My bad.

Wellllllllllllllll… What do you think? I hope it wasn't too bad or lengthy. I feel like most of the story is just going to get a bit angsty from here. I also hope that my Cat wasn't excessively terrible. I'm not used to writing or even reading about her so it was all off of what I imaged she would be like behind the scenes. If you have any ideas to help me improve her or the story, let me know. Thanks everyone for the reviews last chapter! We got a record breaking 13! Woot woot! Partay!

Until next time, see ya.


	11. All I Want

My hands grip the wheel, too dumbfounded to do anything else. Cat runs quickly to her front door with a small skip in her step and waves back at us but I can't move. Tori seems to have a similar reaction, as she takes at least a full five minutes to get back into the car. By the time I hear the door click shut and I know the slim girl is seated next to me, I feel confident that I have collected myself enough to not let another outburst come between us. I simply turn away, pull the car out of park and into reverse, and slowly back the car out of the driveway.

"What was that about?" I ask, keeping my attention on the road and trying not to sound spiteful.

"Jade, it really isn't what it looks like," Tori tries to explain herself as I quietly drive her back to her house.

"What does it look like?" I ask. I'm curious to find out if she understands where my uncontrollable bouts of jealousy come from.

"Cat and I, we're not anything special, I swear," Tori explains almost urgently. I can see out of the corner of my eye her hands waving about for emphasis. I don't even know why she bothers to put on this act, she already rejected me so it's not like it's that big of a deal if she started dating Cat. Neither of them seems to care what people would think of them being together and that seemed to be the biggest problem she had with me.

"Look, it's none of my business whom you date or kiss." I pull the car into park and kill the engine. I'm glad that the ride is over and she would finally be out of my car and leave me to myself. The night is quiet leaving nothing to distract her attention from me, causing me to feel uneasy. I do my best to distract myself and look over to the Vega household to see that it is completely dark except for the small bedroom light from Trina's room. Finally deciding to break the stiff silence, I speak up. "You know, it just would've been nice if you had warned me earlier. If I had known you guys were somethin-"

"Jade, I told you, it's not like that." Tori looks at me, her eyes determined to get her point across. "She just randomly kissed me at lunch, asking about being more than friends and kissing in public."

My grip hardens against the wheel leaving my knuckles white. That little klutz had more nerve than me and had actually asked Tori out before I could even straighten out my thoughts. How pathetic is that?

"-and she just kissed me, I swear." I must've missed half of Tori's explanation as my mind wandered, trying to figure out how Cat could not have known how I felt about Tori. Sure, we didn't spend as much time with each other anymore and I never really talked about things like this, but she usually knew me better than that. Either she really doesn't know me, or she frankly doesn't care.

"Tori," I take a huge breath in resignation and attempt to compose myself. "You've made it perfectly clear that we're not going to work out. You seriously don't need my permission to date Cat."

"That's the _thing_, you're not listening to me. I don't _want_ to date Cat." The voice coming from the beauty is delicate, yet managed to sound firm. "I didn't say we wouldn't work out, Jade. I just think you should really think about what you want first."

Tori pauses for a few moments and I sit there awkwardly. I can sense her eyes looking at me yet I refuse to meet her gaze. The silence is deafening and her gaze burns through me like I'm being analyzed and criticized and dissected for all I'm worth. It's unsettling so, instead, I focus my attention on the lights of my dashboard.

"You're scared to lose me, we both know that," she continues when she realizes I'm not going to offer up anything to say. "You need to see that I'm not going anywhere. I don't think you really want to be my girlfriend-" I flinch at the word and my grip on the wheel tightens. I'm jolted when hear a light laugh, "See? You can't even process the thought of that because it bothers you so much. I won't expect a relationship out of you but we can't stay the same as we've been. We can be friends, you know. Just because we won't make out or have sex doesn't mean you'll mean nothing to me. It doesn't have to be the one or the other."

As soon as her words finish, I'm terrified. She's wrong. It does have to be one or the other. I know that once she steps out of my car and leaves, she'll go to her room and forget everything that we've been through. She'll be lying in bed and thoughts of Cat will fill her mind. They'll fill all the gaps that I never could and overlap anything she had felt for me. She'll be happy without me and I'll be pushed to the side and I'll be alone. I'll have Beck, but I'll be alone.

"Jade? Where'd you go?" I'm pulled back out of my thoughts as worried eyes grab my focus. A gentle hand cups my cheek and I feel in my gut like this is the last stretch. I lean into the offered hand and kiss her palm lightly.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" I ask hopefully.

"Tomorrow is Saturday," Tori laughs a bit, making it clear that she was not ready for that level of our relationship to return.

"Monday, then," I correct myself.

"Monday it is," she agrees and nods with a small smile. Her finger unknowingly teases by tracing my lip as she pulls away. She has no idea how tightly she has me wrapped around that digit.

* * *

I was basking in the post-orgasm high with Tori's body flush up against mine. Our breathing slowed as she lay against me, merging into one. My hands slid up and down her bare skin as I took in the moment. She rested her head delicately against my chest and I was oddly self-conscious of my racing heart. The slender finger that traced my skin left goose bumps to spread and overwhelmed my body. I quickly became used to her sweet, languid brushes and, for a brief instant, was completely content.

But unfortunately, as we all know, all good things must come to an end. Those three little words that I had never expected to hear again, not from my father, not from Beck, and certainly not from Tori, carelessly and effortlessly slipped out of beautifully swollen lips. I froze.

Let's recap for a bit before we continue. Do you know what I hate? I hate lies, I hate empty promises, and I hate 'I love you's. Tori Vega was ticking off one by one and utterly ruined a completely perfect moment.

"Don't you ever say that to me again," I squirm out from under the girl, pushing her off of my body and on to the couch. I hastily grab my stage clothes and storm to my room. I didn't feel comfortable being so exposed around the other girl for another second. Quickly, I threw on a hoodie and sweats, not even taking time to put on underwear. I rush into the bathroom and wash my face, I felt like I was covered in dirt and lies. I could feel tears beading up at the corner of my eyes in frustration as I scrubbed my face so hard it went numb.

"Jade? Look, I'm sorry," I heard Tori's confused voice echoing softly from my room in an attempt to try to assess what the problem was.

"No. No, you're not. Don't you dare say that to me," I pointed an accusatory finger in her direction, water still cascading down my face. A confused brow arched in return.

"Jade. Jade, baby, calm down," Tori cooed as she grabbed my outstretched finger in a gentle grasp. Her words continued to perplex me and I felt warm tears streaking down my face, mixing with the water already covering my skin. Who the freak cries after having mind-blowing sex? What the hell was this girl doing to me? I could only hope that she couldn't tell.

My hands lash out blindly trying to shove the girl away and keep her from getting any closer but in the clumsiness of my blind rage, they were instantly caught before they could make any contact.

"Sweetie, okay, stop it," she tried to convince me as she took both my hands. The calm girl twirled me around so that my arms were crossed against my stomach as she stood behind me, creating a makeshift straightjacket. Her grip was firm but somehow I still didn't feel confined.

"Stop it! What's wrong with you?" I argued and tried my best to wiggle out of her grasp, but it was futile. I heard a melodic laugh next to my ear and I couldn't believe how calm she was and it only pissed me off more.

"What's wrong with me? You're the one that's throwing a tantrum," Tori argued. I had felt even more childish after the levelheaded Latina put it that way. I pushed and shoved and tried to free myself from her hold but eventually gave in when she didn't budge an inch.

"Jade," Tori's voice was still composed and level. I could feel her steady breaths on the cup of my ear. "Look, I'm sorry if I said the wrong thing, but let's calm down and talk about this, okay?"

"I am calm!" I snapped reflexively to those words. I could hear blood rushing through my ears and felt arms tighten around my body, pulling me closer to her warmth. Her heartbeat was calm and stable while mine beat erratically. I felt small kisses being placed along the back of my neck and my breathing naturally calmed to match the steady rhythm of the chest behind me.

"Okay," I complied out of resignation and lowered the volume of my voice. I wanted to wipe the mess my face had become away but I still couldn't move.

As if reading my mind, gentle hands hesitantly released me after a few moments. I took a few calming breaths before turning around. The tanned girl stood shamelessly in front of me with a crooked smile. Even though she was still only clad in a pair of underwear, nothing really fazed her.

"Hey," Tori spoke softly and gave me an awkward smile. Her hands cupped my face and the soft pads of her thumbs grazed my cheeks to wipe away whatever tears she could. I closed my eyes and leaned into her touch slightly. "What happened there?"

"Just- forget about it, alright?" I said with finality in my voice. I pushed away from her slender form and out of her gentle touch. Her touches had become overwhelming and I did not want to get too comfortable. I didn't want to get tangled up in her web of lies and overly sweet gestures. I would not allow that to happen again.

"Jade, I'm not going to just forget about it. That's not how a person usually reacts to-"

"Well then maybe you should go fuck a normal person." I cut her off swiftly and completely. I watched as Tori's face morphed as brows furrowed and I swear I could hear the echoing of her heart shattering at my words. The ringing was deafening.

"Tor, look-" I tried to explain, felt my heart trying to reach out to her at her thoroughly deflated expression. "I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean it like that."

"Do I? Do I, Jade? How do I know that you didn't mean it like that?" she snapped at me, her eyes boring straight into mine. "With all the affection you show me? Or how you treat me at school? Because you know, when I think about it, that's all that this really is for you, isn't it?"

I reached out to grab her hand but she yanked it out of my touch completely, cradling her arm to her chest as if my touch had physically burned her. In the past, I had always felt joy at seeing Tori snap after pushing and prodding, but even I knew I had gone too far that time. "Tori, look, I'm sorry. So, can we just drop it already?"

Brown eyes skirted around my face, trying desperately to find evidence that the whole thing wasn't really happening. It was as if I had said something unfathomable. Quickly, she turned on her heel, darting out of my room.

"Tori!" I called after her, jogging down the hallway to catch her before she could leave. By the time I caught up to the other girl, she was throwing on Walter's Blazer and buttoning it up. She quickly slipped into the pants while everything else was just bunched up in her hand. "Tori, okay. Let's talk," I nearly begged and quickly pressed my hand up against the opening door, making sure that it stayed shut.

"So now you want to talk?" she asked with a dry laugh. She was seething and she was hurt. "Jade, did anything we do ever mean _anything_ to you? Was it seriously just getting laid for you?"

"Okay, I get it. I overreacted. Calm down." I entered panic mode at the sound of her wavering voice. I tried to recall when our roles had switched from me being the yeller to the yell-ee.

Tori let out an exasperated laugh almost bordering on hysteria. She attempted to throw a closed fist against my shoulder but it was feeble and the force died before it made contact. "Just answer the question."

Teary eyes bore into mine and I could barely hold her gaze. I took a deep breath and gulped, turning my eyes away in cowardice.

"No."

"'No' what?" she asked forcibly, bordering on yelling. "'No, it was just screwing around' or 'no, it wasn't nothing'?"

"No, I wasn't just sleeping around, alright?!" I reply in a stern voice. I set my jaw and refused to say more.

Although the stiff muscles in Tori's face relaxed a little, I could tell she was still pissed. I let out a heavy sigh and reached my hand out to grab a lapel of the jacket. I tried to get her to come closer and when I'm met with resistance, I pulled hard enough that she came tumbling into my arms. My hands moved to rest at her waist. In attempts to loose up her stiff demeanor, I slipped my hands under the tail of the jacket and massaged her stiff muscles of her lower back.

"Jade, don't you think this is getting a little ridiculous?" she asked as her body relaxed against mine, betraying her stern facade.

I refused to lose contact with her skin, terrified that once I did that I'd never get to experience it again. "What do you mean by that?" I asked as my fingered stilled to take a moment, almost too afraid to ask. "Are you sick of me?"

"Don't be ridiculous, of course I'm not," she relieved my fears. A defeated chin fell to rest on my shoulder. My fingers returned to basking in her warmth. I could feel warm tears against my neck despite not hearing any audible sobs. Tori gathered her confidence and tried not to let her voice crack as she spoke. "Jade, do you even like me?"

How could she not have known the answer to that question? I wasn't just a whore that slept with all my friends just because I could. Could she really have thought so lowly of me? Did she really not see how confused at how happy I was with her.

I'm pulled out of my daze when I felt slender arms start to encircle my waist lightly. I pulled her closer, trying to entice her to do the same. I needed to feel her strong grasp around me. I needed it to feel grounded and not spin out of control.

I was disappointed when I didn't receive it.

"You know the answer to that," I muttered under my breath.

"Goddammit, Jade, can't you ever just give me a straightforward answer?" she blurted and tried to pull away to look me in the eyes. I kept a firm grip around her waist, not letting her get away. "Maybe I want to hear you say you care. I want words of reassurance that it's not just messing around. Maybe I want to know that I mean more to you than just someone that fucks you."

My hands bunched up the fabric of the jacket, stewing in her trembling voice and harsh word choice. "It's not as easy for me as it is for you, okay?"

"You think this is easy for me?" her voice asked in disbelief. "You think it's easy falling for a girl who barely acknowledges your existence? A girl that won't open to her emotionally? A girl that has a _boyfriend_?"

"Tori," I reached out to her verbally after a few moments of silence. I pulled away just enough to see her face but don't let her out of my hold. "Let's stop this already."

The slender body went rigid as she looked at me in disbelief. Her breathing picked up as her silent tears fell heavier. "You're kidding, right?" her voice shook as she spoke.

"Look," I tried to explain myself, "this, whatever this is, is hard on you and we should stop before things get out of hand."

"You don't think we've already past that point?" her voice cracked. "Seriously, how can you be so detached from all of this?"

Tori tore herself out of my arms and threw her bag over her shoulder. I steeled my will. "It's better we end this now before things get messy, right?"

"_Before_ things get messy? You don't think things have gone too far already? Jesus Christ, you're unbelievable." My trembling hand went to cover her paling face and trying to calm her nerves. "I was so foolish to think you actually cared."

"You're right, you shouldn't have. Are you happy? Is everything clear now?" I couldn't take another second of her admonishing and snapped back. "You really should've known better," I rebuked, sneeringly.

"Screw you, asshole." Her voice was unwavering yet her eyes still glistened with tears. Without another word, she exited the house, livid.

"Enjoy your walk home!" I called out mockingly just before the door slammed shut between us.

I groaned into the empty house. Pacing back and forth around the living room quickly almost causes me to over my own feet.

"She doesn't know me," I grumbled to the empty space. The couch is still littered with my underwear and I pick it up in disgust. "She doesn't know what love is. She just proved to me how little she cared by storming out of here. Good riddance!" I yelled the last part in the direction of the closed door.

I was blinded. I was blinded by rage and anguish. I didn't want her to have any power over me. If she had known I was emotionally invested, she could have held it against me. She could have manipulated me. She could have used me and she could have hurt me. If she had known how much I cared about her, she could have left me and never looked back. I could not have relinquished that control over to her.

* * *

The steel door is cool to the touch as I lean against it. Beck wanders around his room, picking up a few shirts that are thrown haphazardly here and there.

"Beck," I call his attention to me. He hasn't given me a second thought since I got there.

"What's up?" his reply comes out casually and he still doesn't bother to even look in my direction. Every few seconds he pulls his shaggy hair out the way when it falls in front of his face whenever he bends over.

If things were different, Tori would have me wrapped in her arms, ignoring the state of the room with her full attention on me. Tori would have pulled me against her body, laughing about something dumb that happened at school, showering my skin with light kisses between sentences. Tori could be everything that Beck lacked, and more. How had I not seen it sooner? Beck can't hold a candle to the empathetic Latina.

"Beck, can you just listen to me for a second?" I call out with a raised voice, angered at his lack of consideration.

"I'm listening, what's up?" he replied carelessly. After his clothes piled up in the corner, he cleared his bed and sat on it, patting it as a signal for me to join him. I don't take him up on the offer.

"I think we should break up," I declare with my voice resolved. Even if I can't be with Tori, I want out of this three-year long farce. I don't want to pretend that we're okay when we're not.

Not taking my words to heart, Beck leans back against the wall as his feet hang off the edge of the bed. He looks at me with a cocked eyebrow. "Oh, really? And why is that?" he asks and crosses his arms behind his head to create a makeshift pillow. Clearly he is not taking me seriously.

"We're not working out. I don't want to be with you anymore," I say, coolly. I want to sound as detached as possible.

"Jade, we just got back together not even a month ago and now you're saying all this? Aren't you sick of playing this silly game?"

My temper rises as I watch him lie unconcernedly in his spot. The crooked grin he sends my way pisses me off even more and I clench my fists as tightly as possible.

"Okay, well, I never thought of this as a game but I _am_ sick of it." I pull away from the wall but continue to keep my distance. The more space between us the better. His phlegmatic attitude over a breakup pushes me closer to the edge of breaking. I want to lash out at him for being so uninterested. I thought he would take me more seriously, that he was at least somewhat emotionally attached to me. I don't even want to be here right now. There are so many other places I would rather talking to this indifferent son-of-a-

My thoughts freeze. This scenario seems oddly familiar. The brief dissolution I had felt when his cold words demeanor hit me had given me a small glimpse into what Tori must have had to deal with every second she was with me. Never getting anything she wanted and always having to deal with aloof rejection. She was right all along. I was a complete gank about everything.

"Beck, it's over. I'm done," I speak with finality. I pick my bag up off the floor and push open the door. The light metal swings back and clashes against the exterior before swinging back and almost hitting me. I stop it before it gets too close and hop down to rush to my car.

"Jade, you have to stop doing this. I'm not going to keep taking you back, you know," he calls back. His low voice sounds only the slightest bit irked as it called after me from the doorway of the trailer.

I don't even bother to turn around when I respond. "Screw you, asshole."

One down.

The drive to a familiar house was quick. It probably didn't hurt that I was speeding the whole time and I ran three red lights.

"What are you doing with Tori?" I demand to know once the door to Cat's house opens. I feel warm. I can't place where it's coming from but I doubt it's from the house. My teeth start to grind against each other as I try to control the emotions that engulf me. The tiny girl watches me in confusion.

"Wha? Tori's not here. I think she's at home if you're looking for her," Cat replies in her annoyingly high pitched voice. A crease between her brows forms as she looks at me in puzzlement as I push past her into the house.

"No, not right now. In general. You can't date her," I state. I leave no room for argument as I keep my voice firm and level.

"We're not dating," she replies with a shrug. She doesn't seem to register how serious I'm trying to be.

"You kissed her right outside of my car! I know you're seeing each other." The steadiness of my voice wavers as I one by one my nerves start to snap.

"Yeah, I mean, I like her, but we haven't really been on a date yet. I-"

"You're not allowed to date her." My voice rises and I cut her off before she gets the idea of actually taking Tori out.

"You can't tell me what to do," she protests in an unexpectedly solemn voice. It bewilders me and I'm taken off guard. "You can't tell me who I can and can't ask out and you, out of all people, have absolutely no right to stop Tori from seeing other people.

"Tori is not your property and she is not your toy. You've been stringing her along for years and giving her false hope. Do you know who she comes to every single time you break her heart?" she asks.

I freeze as my blood runs cold. I have essentially been pushing Tori straight into Cat's arms. "How could you do this to me? We're finally so close," I whine, hating how feeble my voice sounds.

"I'm not your enemy, Jade. No one is."

Cat's airy smile makes its way back onto her face and she takes a step forward. I take one back.

I leave the house before she can reach out to me, not caring in the slightest what other things the quirky girl might have had to say. I'm not even sure if she was making any sense. If we were both gunning for the same person, she is undoubtedly my enemy.

I have to be smart about this from now on.

* * *

**A/N: **SO. I was reworking the last chapter (as I always do right before I start working on a new one) and my supervisor was hovering over my shoulder for a good 3 or so minutes. I REALLY hope he didn't read what was on my screen because I just happened to be editing the smuttiness of it all and now I just want to die. UGH. I should really stop working on this story at work.

Anyway, sorry for the extremely short chapter. I feel a dissatisfied with it, but I haven't written in a while. I don't know how to make it better or longer so I decided after a few reads that this will have to do. I also want to apologize for the long wait. I hope I haven't lost any of my loyal readers and I plan on getting the next chapter out in a shorter amount of time. Life had just decided to attack me with work, travels, and friends but after Halloween, things should be settling down again and I'll have tons of time! I also haven't responded to your replies yet, but I'll get around to it as soon as I can. Peace!


	12. Say Something

I relax in my favorite spot as the TV drowns out any stray thoughts. It's nice to take a lazy day without having to think about Neutronium Records, Mason, or school. I know that I really shouldn't be taking the day off, but I feel like I'm going a little crazy. With everything going on in life, not to mention the small predicament I have with Cat and Jade, I feel the strong need to unwind. Luckily, the marathon of _I Love Lucy_ does a very sufficient job at this. I start to feel the couch molding to my body as the hours pass and I probably wouldn't have moved until early morning if it weren't for the doorbell ringing.

I try to ignore the persistent noise for a few minutes, silently hoping that Trina would get it but around when the 10th ring comes and Trina is annoyed, I'm nearly able to dodge a flying boot before I'm forced to get up and answer it.

"Cat? Hey, hi, what's up?" I ask a bit surprised. I lean in to give the miniature human a small hug as she all but leaps up into my arms. And, despite everything that has been happening recently, I'm still taken aback when I find eager lips pressing against mine.

I mentally sigh. I know that it's my fault for not completely clarifying my stance on things with Cat so she's hardly to blame when she doesn't find it inappropriate to kiss me, but everything feels so wrong about it. My heart aches and I feel irrationally nervous. The feeling burns deep within me and I force myself to pull away. It's as if I'm cheating on Jade, although in reality it's just wishful thinking.

Despite this, I some how find it all quite nice in a sense. It's completely different to have someone try to be so open and affectionate towards me. I'm used to being greeted with reluctant kisses and annoyed grunts whereas Cat is genuinely happy to be with me and isn't afraid to show it. Her overly hyper disposition may be bit overkill at times, but at least Cat is true to herself. Cat is true to me.

It's horrible to say, but I yearn for this kind of warm affection. It's been so long since someone openly and warmly welcomed me into their arms. And, although my feelings for Jade are undoubtedly genuine, I want so much more that what she's willing to give. Here Cat is, offering it all.

Small lips linger on my mine even after the kiss broke and I try to ignore the tickly feeling of her breath. With a final light brush, she pulls away. Letting a few inches separate our faces, she looks at me so earnestly and her warm smile is spreads to my face.

_There's no harm in this, right? _I convince myself.

I keep the beaming girl in my hold as she snuggles up to rest against my chest. I still haven't even had the chance to close the door yet but I'd feel bad if I moved now. My arms fold around her tiny body and I rest my chin comfortably atop her head.

"So, is that what you came here for?" I ask with a hint of amusement but in no way complaining.

"Well…" Cat's grin turns mischievous and she leans closer into me. I'm taken aback when she kisses me again, but this time with much more ferocity. Hands wrap around my neck, pulling me closer as she steps on her tiptoes and her tongue boldly swipes my bottom lip. I gasp in surprise and she takes the opportunity to slip past my lips. As her determined fingers weave through my hair, I choke out a moan.

For the first time in years, I'm kissing someone and not wishing that they were Jade.

Cat's voice drops to a lower octave and her large, dark eyes flash with uncertainty.

"Will you go out with me?"

* * *

"Who are you?" a familiar voice boomed through the empty hallways of the school. If her distinct voice weren't enough to give her away, the heavy boots falling on linoleum instantly would've clued me in. I begrudgingly turned my head slowly to see a clearly upset Jade.

"What do you want, Jade?" I let out with a sigh, not even bothering to direct my gaze at her. After the long week I've had, running around doing dumb stints to appease Mason, more criticism wasn't something that I particularly wanted or was willing to deal with.

"So, what? You think you're all hot chizz now that you get to open for the PMAs?" Jade asked, her voice full of annoyance and a bit of anger. Any other day I would've acknowledged her pointed look but I carelessly shrugged it off. Ever since I had gotten chosen to open for the ceremony, I had my hands full with one thing or another. I was already having this debate with myself internally, I really couldn't handle the same externally as well. It felt like that even though I was given an opportunity of a lifetime, nothing was going my way.

"Get over yourself," Jade spoke freely. I could tell that she's actually trying to hold herself back from an onslaught of insults; I couldn't even imagine why.

"You don't know-"

"Oh, so know I don't know you?" a loud booming voice causes me to roll my eyes.

"I wasn't going to say tha-"

"You think just because we're not dating that I don't _know_ you? So, what? The Vega that I always saw was just some act?" Jade asked, taking offense at her misunderstanding. Always the drama queen, Jade was. I'm surprised how vocal she was being in such a public space. The school seemed empty but Jade usually wasn't one to take that chance. With her forwardness, I suddenly felt shy about our relationship and needed to shut her up before someone overheard.

"LISTEN TO ME," I snapped. I couldn't tell her about the whole deal that I had made with Mason, but Jade was being ridiculous; she wasn't being very fair. It's not like Jade has ever really been fair, but I didn't deserve this. I'm a good person. "It's not what you think."

"Then what is it? Because to me, it looks like you're just another sellout. You think you're too cool for us _normal_ folk now?"

"Oh, please. Who in their right mind would ever consider you normal?" I snapped, not taking time to register that my words that left my mouth.

In all honesty, I should've known not to egg Jade on. She was never one to sit by and let someone insult her and I should've known that she would've found a way pay me back, tenfold. If anything, I expected an attempt on my life, something along the lines of pushing me in front of a school bus or slipping an abnormal amount of laxatives in my food, but stealing my part in the PMAs took me completely by surprise.

I didn't know how to react to her and I suddenly felt empty. Cat was always supportive of all her friends and didn't quite grasp the situation I was in. Beck, feeling terrible about the reaction that he provoked out of his ex, was the only one that stayed by my side. Seeing how he was being such a good friend, choosing to stick with me instead of partying with everyone else at the PMAs, I felt bad about everything that Jade and I had together.

Unfortunately, he was quick to change that opinion back one of detestation when he unabashedly came on to me in my own home. With no regard to my feelings or Jade's, he somehow saw that in that moment of distress was an opportune moment to make a move on me. It was despicable. I could never let Jade know; she'd be crushed.

The performance came and went, ending completely differently than I had expected. I knew Jade would've killed it if she took the stage but I was bewildered when she stepped down for me. If my mind was a mess before the performance, it was a complete disaster by the end. Thoughts, emotions, questions; everything was swirling around, leaving me disoriented.

"You weren't half bad," Jade made herself comfortable on my couch after the exhausting whirlwind of a day. Jade, along with the rest of the gang, stopped by after the show to celebrate. She decided to stay and 'help clean up' after everyone else left but ended up just complaining from her spot as I worked alone.

"Thanks," I responded. I knew that that was the closest to a compliment that I would receive so I welcomed it.

Jade took a sip from the mostly empty champagne bottle and kicked off her boots. I concluded that she wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon and sat a good distance away from her. The air was still extremely heavy and I was still pissed at her. I was grateful, sure, but still pretty pissed. I couldn't even look at her without feeling hurt or upset that she nearly took away my one opportunity to shine. It was pretty unbelievable that she could act like everything was fine when I was so torn up inside.

"I shouldn't have taken your spot on the PMAs," Jade stated when I didn't bring up anything else to say. She may have been emotionally insensitive sometimes, but she wasn't socially inept. She knew something was bothering me and that I was uncomfortable.

"Yeah, you really shouldn't have," my voice came off as detached as I felt.

Surprisingly, Jade had kept her cool and shrugged my comment off. "At least I gave it back to you in the end."

Silence. The silence was deafening and the only sounds I could hear was the contents of her bottle swishing back and forth with every swig. With my dad being a cop, of course he didn't condone underage drinking, but, since it was a very special occasion, he had found it acceptable to celebrate three bottles to share between everyone and the family. There really wasn't much left in the last bottle that Jade held after everyone had their share but I wasn't too sure how much she had throughout the night.

"Are you okay?" I finally asked when I heard the clink of empty bottle being placed back on the table.

Fierce green eyes locked onto mine and I suddenly felt as if I had been the one who wronged her. Her look of anger wasn't what surprised me, but the look of hurt was.

"Jade," I called out, unsure of what I could do. I reluctantly moved closer to her, not able the bear the pain in her eyes. I wondered what I had done this time to provoke such a powerful gaze.

"Don't." Jade stopped me in my tracks with a firm voice. Looking away, she stood up on wobbly legs and grabbed for her jacket.

I hated how she would always make me feel bad for things I didn't know I did, especially when I was the one that was mad at her first. She always turned things around so that she was always the victim. I wasn't going to give her pity any longer.

"I'm calling you a taxi," I gave up trying to get through to her and pulled out my phone instead. After a few quick rings, I ordered a cab to come pick up Jade and I passed her her bag. She snatched it from my hands with ferocity.

"You know, I'm not going to pity you just because you pretend that you're the one that's hurt, Jade," I scoffed. Her little games had worn me out. Every day, everything always just came down to one thing. I wanted to be with her. I wanted her to want to be with me. It was exhausting when things never went your way.

I watched as she took a deep breath. Her chest rose and fell with each gulp of air and her glazed eyes looked at me full of anguish.

A loud bleating of a car horn pulls our attentions away and I earnestly feel sorry for whatever I had done to create such pain.

_Say something_, I silently begged her. I felt so small, so insignificant. I watched as she pulled her bag over her shoulder and turned around. The ache in my chest started to swell as she opened the door and left me in the dark. I had never craved her harsh tongue or her brash words so badly before.

I needed her to say something, anything. For the first time since I knew how I felt towards Jade in all her complexity, I felt like giving up.

* * *

When I was reluctant to give Cat an affirmative answer, we settled with a compromise. I would be open to giving her a chance in a possible relationship but made it clear that we would not to put labels on it. I wasn't her girlfriend, I wasn't her lover; it was just a couple of dates. I only agreed when I came to the conclusion that that being with Cat could possibly help me get over the fact that I was in a dead-end, one-sided relationship with Jade. Hopefully it would help me see that there are other people who care about me and won't just throw me aside.

My mind and attention had been so focused on her and my vision was tunneled, and that needed to change. I earnestly hoped that being with Cat would help me get over Jade.

"I got you some blackberries." Cat came bouncing toward our table at lunch.

Since our science class got out early today, we were two of the first people at the Asphalt Café. The empty lot is a bit eerie at first but it was a nice change, and getting out early did have its advantages. Fruit is a high commodity at Hollywood Arts so if you're not the first in line at lunch, you weren't going to get anything healthy besides an overly priced salad with a high calorie dressing.

"Thanks." I grab a sole berry and pop it into my mouth. I let out a small hum at the sweetness that overwhelms my taste buds.

"Good?" Cat asks, resting her cheek against my shoulder. I hold a berry up to her face and she opens her mouth on cue. I toss it in and she squirms a bit in delight. I hardly notice the bell ringing to let out class, too wrapped up in trying to understand the joke that Cat was telling me. I'm 99% sure that it just doesn't make any sense.

As I'm about to take another berry, I pull my hand back quickly at a loud slam at the table.

"Thanks," a low voice booms as a pale hand reaches out across to snatch the fruit from in front of me. The slender fingers were undeniably Jade's and my gaze slowly moves to her face. I give a weak smile when I see familiar features, from her plump lips to her pierced brow, but it inevitably turns into small frown to match hers. I haven't seen the other girl since we parted after she dropped me off when we finished working on _Divertisimo_ but she did not look pleased to see me in the slightest. Her perfectly manicured fingers pop a berry into her mouth but she instantly spit the fruit back out.

"What is this chizz?" She wipes her tongue with the napkin that happened to be on our table when we got here. I figured it was best to not inform her of that.

"It's a blackberry," I state and cock an eyebrow at her. Cat's arm tightens around my waist as she pulls herself closer to me and I start to feel a bit uncomfortable. Although I have no problem with innocent displays of affection when we are in private, I feel a little more insecure when Cat flaunts it in front of Jade. I really know that I shouldn't, hiding the fact that Cat and I might be something more than friends is no better than when Jade felt like she had to hide us. But still, I can't help it.

I free my hand from being sandwiched between my body and Cat's and reach over to pull the berries back to me. Cat instantly takes a berry and pops it into my mouth before I could even register what was going on. I look at her puzzled by her behavior, but her gaze was steadily fixated on the stoic third party. I'm not dumb. I know what she's doing. She's staking her claim and shoving it in the other girl's face. The message was loud and clear: _Tori is mine_.

"She can feed herself!" Jade snaps, clearly irritated. Much to her displeasure, the smaller body only clung on to me even more tightly.

"Cat, she's right. I can feed myself," I back up Jade's claim. I can't help but shoot Jade an apologetic smile.

Cat pulls away from me but makes a show of taking my hand in hers. I wince at the awkwardness of it all. I know without a doubt that this is all for display now.

Cat's hand is petite in mine and I feel like I'm overpowering her. I don't like how her thumb goes over mine, making the hold feel unnatural. I don't like how her hand squeezes mine as if it needs something from me. I don't like how Jade's eyes flash with hurt as she watches everything unfolding in front of her eyes. I don't like how she gets up from her spot without a word, presumably to the arms of Beck. I don't like the names she calls us as she storms away, clearly showing how betrayed she feels.

"Don't," Cat's firm voice resonates in my ears. I feel a steady hand holding me in place. I fight internally against myself. Stay with Cat or chase after Jade?

"I have to-" I plead with apologetic eyes. I'm already halfway out of my seat with my bag on my shoulder.

"Tori, don't," Cat says, in a very neutral voice. I would expect her to sound desperate or upset but she simply looks at me with slightly hurt eyes.

"Cat, I'll be right back." I take her face in my hands and kiss her forehead softly. "I promise." After a flash of a light smile, I'm jogging to the building that Jade disappeared through.

I finally catch up to the girl and her leather jacket groans beneath my tight grip. I want to snap at her and tell her she has no right. I want to yell at her for acting so immature. I want to hear her inadequate explanation of why she thinks it's okay for her to act that way. But, with the look at her watery eyes, words die on my lips.

"I know!" Jade snaps at me before I could even say anything. "I know, alright? I know that I had my chance. I know that, alright?"

Curious gazes turn in our direction and I smile at them as if nothing was wrong. The whole school is used to random outbursts, especially between their new pop idol and their future horror movie director, but we were attracting unwanted attention. I'm reluctant at first but decide to pull Jade into the janitor's closet.

I was afraid that being behind closed doors with this girl would cause me or her to do something stupid or hurtful but the second the door closed behind us, the tears that threatened to fall make their way down porcelain cheeks. I don't have the will to ignore them and my thumbs swipe at her cheeks gently.

"Hey now... What's wrong?" I ask with the softest smile I can muster.

I expected silence and that's what I got. Rose-colored lips turn into my palm and feather across it while warm breaths tickled my skin. I remove the hand that her attention isn't on and hook it gently behind her neck to pull her into a hug.

"She's not replacing you," I speak softly into her hair. Taking into account the years of knowing her, I did my best to properly understand the situation. "No one can and no one will."

A small squeal of surprise escapes my lips when arms wrap around me in a firm hug.

"I'm not going anywhere, Jade," I reassure her.

My thoughts jumble and fly all over the place when strong arms pull me even closer. Her warm body pressing so close to mine throws me into a crazed loop and I feel as lost as Jade does.

I pull away. I have to pull away or I will completely lose it. She's showing so much weakness that I don't know what to do. She's a completely different Jade than I'm used to dealing with.

I know I lost to right to wipe away her fallen tears when my eyes mirrored hers so I leave her streaked cheeks alone. I absolutely cannot pull my gaze away from her watery green eyes and before I know it, I'm pulling her into a kiss. Pure and chaste, I know it will probably be our last.

The few seconds that the kiss lasted wasn't long enough but when the bell rang, I knew I had to get back to Cat. I knew she was still waiting for me and would be until I came back. Unlike me, she was loyal. I pull away, only to quickly dive back in for a small peck.

"I have to go," I utter barely louder than a whisper. "I have to go."

Hands refuse to leave my hips but she loosens her grip and I tear myself away from warm arms.

"Everything will be fine, Jade," I attempt to soothe her with the most convincing smile I can muster.

Forcing myself out of the room was nearly impossible but I had told myself countless times not to be sucked back into that venomous relationship. Similar instances had happened before and it was about time that I let her go. She isn't mine to hold. I'm sure Beck will get her back on her feet and she'll forget all about Cat and me.

The redhead was sitting in the exact spot I had left her and now the tables surrounding ours are cleared. Her dejected look quickly dissipated once I was in her sights and she ran straight into my arms. She doesn't ask me about Jade, clearly choosing to live by the phrase "ignorance is bliss" and I don't bring it up. I fold my arms around the smaller body before releasing her to walk to class.

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry this took so long and sorry that it's so short. I'm starting to lose interest in this story and this chapter took me a while to finish. I have been working on it for a while, trying to buff it up, but I figured this was as long and as good as it's probably going to get. If it makes you feel any better, I felt that this chapter was kind of a filler for what's to come, but I've been pretty lost about how I want this story to go. I hadn't played this whole Cat story and now I have to take it into account and figure out where to take it.

I decided to post this as a birthday present from me to you on my birthday, if that makes any sense haha. I can't say when I can get the next chapter up but I'll try not to take too long. I want to finish this story since I only planned on it being a couple chapters more but we'll see what happens. I don't plan on taking too much longer but I've been pretty caught up in the korrasami fandom as of late.

Anyway, I'll do my best! Please leave any comments or suggestions for me! It's the highlight of each post!


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